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Monday, January 14, 2008
This and that
It's been awhile since I wrote on here, so I thought I'd post something new. I usually just try to write when there is something cool to write about; well, I guess there hasn't been too much too cool to write about, but I did have a really fun weekend, so I can tell a little about that!
Our church had our annual women's retreat this weekend and it was so much fun. It was my third one to have gone on, and it is just really a fun time to get away and hang out and enjoy getting to know folks you may not know that well and enjoying the company of those you already know and love. The first year I went it was in Palacios and we had a pretty cheesy speaker and sessions, but it was still fun to hang out with everyone. It was before I had kids, and it was also the weekend that the Columbia space shuttle was destroyed when it was re-entering the earth's atmosphere. That's a lot of what I remember about that year. Not being a mom, the "getting away" part wasn't as big of a deal and being the news junkie I am, I felt a little cheated at not being able to see the immediate news coverage of the shuttle disaster. (yes, I know, I'm weird!) I do remember it being fun though.
Last year, I was given a trip to the retreat as a Christmas gift from my husband, whose babysitting fell through (he had a bridal show to do at the mall for his video company) so I spent most of the weekend running back and forth so I could hang out at the retreat and take care of my kids pretty much all day....but I loved the time I was there and enjoyed it a ton.....so, this year, when I decided to not do school this quarter, I was for sure signing up for the retreat. My husband had his parental units come down to help with (well, lets be honest...to take over the childcare) my kids for the weekend, so I got to be there for almost the whole thing this year. (almost, because I had one of my youth groups Friday night and couldn't leave until it was over.)
It was sooooo relaxing, so fun, and I laughed til my face hurt. I roomed with a dear friend who is also a night owl, so though we didn't sleep much, we had such a great time getting to stay up til all hours visiting. She is a wonderful listener and was kind enough to listen to me do a lot of venting about some stuff that weighs heavily on me, and what a gift that was to be able to talk that out. I hope I was a good listener as well, although I don't think there's any way she could have received as much blessing from me as I did from her over the time we were there!
I also got to spend time with some other dear friends working on and helping to lead our worship times with music, which was a ton of fun, and got to play my guitar more than I have in a long time. The weather was beautiful, the speakers were good, and it was just an overall really sweet time of refreshing, which I am so thankful for. Oh...and we got smores!!! How cool is that!!!!!!
I'm grateful for the gifts of my friendships and know that I have been blessed. I also have some renewed hope to try and make some things in my life better. There is a song by Switchfoot called "This is your life" and it's been meaning a lot to me lately: This is your life, are you who you want to be? That is the question the song asks...I know I'm not, but Lord willing, hopefully someday I will be.
In other news: Went to the gym today and it was awesome! I have been able to be pretty consistent at it, and it is amazing how much better I feel. I got to run some on the retreat this weekend outside too, which was great. As I type, I am putting some new songs into my itunes from old cd's so I have some more running music. I think I probably have the most eclectic ipod repertoire known to man. I mean, who else do you know that has Casting Crowns and Chris Tomlin and hymns followed by Merle Haggard, Patsy Cline and Rhinestone Cowboy by Glen Campbell? Oh, and we can't forget the Harry Connick Jr (have I mentioned he is just hot?! heehee!) and the Bowling For Soup that is like the best running music I've EVER heard! Got some Bon Jovi and Bryan Adams too...Have I mentioned that ipods are cool?! I am really enjoying mine...and I am convinced it will get me skinny someday!!!
Other thing I'm working on is a sermon for week after next when I get to fill in. Gonna talk about Acts 12--such a funny story! Luke would have been fun to get to know...at least based on Acts 12! Peter getting released from prison by God, rushing to go see his buds and the gal who opens the door is so excited to go tell everyone she leaves him out in the cold....it's like a movie! Anyhow...working on that.
Okay...that's probably good for now; who in the world would have any interest to read through my incoherent ramblings I don't know, but if you are interested, here it is! And that's all I got to say about that!
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Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Sweatiness is next to godliness! Current mood: refreshed
Sweatiness just HAS to be next to godliness...I never feel so at peace as when I am drenched in sweat, head to toe from making this hunk-o-chunkiness self of mine do more than it really ought to!
I know it's nothing unique to me, but I have been wound tighter than a spring on a new Serta the last several weeks...okay, probably years, but we'll give me the benefit of the doubt and just look at the last few weeks. I have been trying to finish this class I am taking, plus the 2 jobs and taking care of the house and kids pretty much by myself...which is another source of frustration in and of itself, but that issue isn't one for blogging about. I feel like I am stretched about as thin as thin can get right now. Put on top of that the fact that there isn't enough money coming in to keep up with our bills and that I feel like a completely fat slob in this overweight-by-100-pounds-I-had-3-babies-in-2-years-and-I-REALLY-eat-a-lot-when-I-am-stressed body of mine, and well......as you see, I'm probably on a bananna peel ready to pop a gasket at any time!
I've been needing sooooo badly to exercise. I go and change clothes but then someone needs a diaper changed or my house needs cleaned so the health department won't shut us down, or someone has to go potty, or it's 3 am, or whatever, and before you know it, another day has gone by and here I go getting fatter and more stressed.
Well, last night I decided (at least for today) that enough is enough already, and this morning I WAS going to make it to the gym, come hell or high water! This morning I got up and got dressed, and lemme tell you, I was SO ready by the time we were done with breakfast.....it was a no-preschool day today, so we didn't really have a schedule to keep, but it just felt like, to me, that there was an inordinate amount of whining happening around here...I'm really not a fan of whining....okay, let's call it what it is: I loathe whining! I do my best to have patience since my precious whiners were only 3 and 1 years old today, but you get must past that, and there's no mercy from me on the whining issue!
Anyhow, by the time we made it out the door, to the church to pick up a few books for this paper and to the gym, I was ready to run until I blew an artery....This fat body was going to make that treadmill smoke, baby (and not just from the impact of my weight on it!)! I needed that exercise like a druggie needs a....well, whatever druggies call what the drugs are they do! (I watch Intervention on A&E, but have never picked up on all the lingo yet).
Oh....one more bit of info I must insert.....I had to (well, maybe not had, but it was certainly a justified purchase) to get an ipod the other week....primarily for the reason of listening to my class lectures. I got an older model refurb, so I didn't pay all that much, but my lectures were all MP3 and I needed a way I could listen to them without being tied to my computer, otherwise this class was never going to be finished. Anyhow, I have slowly been adding music to my little nano, and so this was the first time I had the chance to take it to the gym and use it for something besides school stuff.
Okay...back to the gym now---I put my little ipod on and I ran on that treadmill....I walked a lot too, but I was MOVING, which was really the whole point. I ran to Casting Crowns and Bebo Norman. I ran to Jars of Clay (they run really well, by the way) and to Rich Mullins. I ran to my kids' "Folk Playground" and to Mighty Wind. I ran to Chris Tomlin, Harry Connick Jr (who is so good looking, you could just imagine being skinny and running to whereever he is...heehee!), and even to Merle Haggard (Okie from Muskogee runs pretty well!) I ran to Jonah Werner and some random Young Life musicians whose names I don't know. My kids were playing and having a blast in the play area and I was running like a crazy woman....and it felt GOOD!
I can remember when Craig and I used to fight..well, I mean, we fight all time now....never mind....when we would be in an argument, I can remember going out (this was back the first time I trained for a marathon and I was actually in pretty decent shape) and running...especially when it was cold outside....and he'd be on the bike beside me. I remember even though we'd be nearly at each other's throats before the run, I actually sorta liked him again by the time we'd covered 5 or 6 miles! It was sorta like that today.....I was such a stressball....and I am pretty darn mellow now! I've gotta work this evening and will probably be the mellowest med tech the lab has ever seen!
Anyhow, all that to say, I am refreshed and I need to commit to getting my exercise more, no matter how much is going on. It would make my body healthier (and much easier to not be disgusted by, I'm sure) but I think I really need it more than anything for my emotional well-being. I'll probably be sore tomorrow...but that's okay! Call me masochistic, but I really actually LOVE that sore feeling from exercise! Yes, I like the way a sunburn feels too, so I'm a freak show, I know! Soreness has to be pretty close to godliness in my book too!
Now, if I could just stay away from the chocolate therapy, I'd be doing REALLY good!!!!
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Tuesday, November 27, 2007
3:19 am and wow!
Yep, It's 3:19 in the morning, and I just finished listening to my last lecture for my class I am taking about the Gospels. It's a distance class, and I think I got myself into quite the pickle with it...it's an individualized distance learning class; i.e. if-you-tend-to-procrastinate-you-are-toast kind of a class! All my course work is due in about a week and a half..which means I still have a buttload of reading to do (and yes, for me that is A LOT!) a paper to write, and taking my final. It's one of those things that I know in my own strength, wouldn't even be remotely possible....Yes, I am in a "big, bumpy pickle" as my boys would say (ala the veggies!)
But wow, vinegarized (is that a word?) cucumbers aside, what a wonderful class this is! The last lecture I listened to tonight especially. So much so, I felt compelled to blog at 3:19 am! She (the professor) was summarzing the message of the Gospels as well as the Gospel as laid out in Paul's letters too, and she ended up with such a profound, yet challenging concept, especially given the culture we live in.
She talked about how we tend to approach Bible study with the angle "what is in it for me" or "how does this relate to me" sort of an attitude. In other words, we turn everything toward ourselves and tend to make it fit our own circumstances or our own needs....I suppose part of that is an attempt at application, which is fair enough, but she was making the point that we must remember...the Gospel is about GOD and what HE does...regardless of our response, our life, or anything else. Yes, He loves us and He came to redeem us, as part of His people, but we must approach our study with GOD being first...and understand what does this teach about Him.
Our salvation isn't about anything WE do...yes, we have the option of responding or not responding, but it is HIS perogative and HIS work that it's all about. To remember the first phrase of Rick Warren's Purpose Driven Life book, "it's not about you." Geesh, what good it would do for us to remember that truth. Pretty much everything we are surrounded with every single day in our culture, what we are immersed in, is contrary that statement. She pointed out that in one of Paul's letters (and no, I don't remember which one at the moment) our life is to be "hidden with Christ"...what a wonderful thing, that WE wouldn't be seen, but it would be Him that is what it's all about. Well, I say it's wonderful, and it is, but it's so against my nature. I mean, I want to be all cool and everything..."look at me, I follow Jesus" and "honk if you love Jesus, praise-a-leujah!!" and all that sort of stuff....which is so NOT the point of the Gospel message. Gosh, it's that whole flesh thing again.....what a pain!
Incidentally, one of the really, I think, hilarious things she did toward the end of the lecture was tell us of her habit of surfing the internet for sermons and seeing how they line up with the message and life of Christ and the Word. She said it's depressing, to see what sort of stuff is out there, and she gave us a few examples...it really served to illustrate the point well....about how we try to make God's Word all about us. Scary thing is, I saw some of my own flawed ideas in some of her examples. It was a good thing to see it pointed out in that way--really eye-opening.
Lord, help me to properly handle Your word and to always remember it is truly ALL ABOUT YOU! I ask that my own attitude would be focused on You and You alone, that I might reflect that to others as well.
Oh, and help me to fall asleep now.....I probably should really get to bed!


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Monday, November 05, 2007
Uh oh!
Wow...what a weekend this has been...I'm awfully tired, and am really ready to get to sleep here soon. But, since I had a little something to say, I thought I'd write!
Friday night I worked a night shift at the lab for training on nights, which went just fine. I got off of work at 6 am Saturday morning and slept about 4 hours after that and just couldn't really sleep any longer. Then, since I was preaching this morning at church to fill in, I was up pretty darn late...til 3ish last night, which meant about 3-1/2 hours of sleep or so was all I got last night. The preaching went fine and then we had youth group tonight.
We had a movie night, so as to be a low-stress sorta evening after all the prep that went in for this morning. And that all worked out fine.
Then, it was time to leave.
It was a little crazy, because the nursery ladies had gone already, so I had my 3 little ones and was trying to care for them and finish up with my high school friends and clean up, etc all at the same time. So we finally get all our stuff from the movie and the food etc. put up and taken care of and I am really, really, really ready to get home at this point, since my 1-year-old is screaming her sweet little head off because she's tired and my 3-year-olds are pretty much ready to be gone too.
So, I walk out to my van with the last kids who are left and the last load of stuff to carry out and I have locked all the doors behind me, turned lights out, etc. I am on the way out to the parking lot and open the van doors with my key thingy...the kids comment on how it's cool the doors open like that. Well, I get my little ones all strapped in their car seats, go to leave, and.....
Uh oh.....where are my keys?
I KNOW I had them going out...otherwise, how would I have locked the doors of the church and opened the doors to the van? Of course I had them with me.
I proceed to dump my purse and tear my van apart (all with my baby angel screaming her baby head off, mind you) in the dark trying to find my keys...to no avail, of course! I pull out my cell phone to call my husband, and the battery is so dead on it that it doesn't even tell me it's low...it's just DOWN for the count.
Cue the "oh crap" panic attack, please!
Now if I were on my own, it would've been a not good situation. But with my two 3-year-olds and a 1-year-old, this was bad....very bad! I had thoughts of walking home with them...but that's a 3-mile trek. Okay for me, but not for them, especially in the dark. Maybe I could go somewhere to call my husband. Everywhere was much farther than we should've been going....and all I wanted to do was get home..
Did I mention too, that all my important cards and ID and all were also with the keys that are MIA? Oh yes, lets not forget that too!
I decided I had to do something, so I got the little stroller out for Missy G and told the boys to start walking with me. We all went, hand in hand, to the house next to the church. I had remembered going there to invite kids to the Family Fun Night at church a couple of years ago at Halloween and also inviting kids to VBS. The porch light was on and it looked like an "awake" home.
The boys and I pray for the Lord's safety, not knowing where we re going for sure, and we knocked on the door. A nice lady opened the door and when we told her our situation, she was so kind to invite us into her living room and let us use her phone. So, we got ahold of Craig, and he was on his way, and we visited for a few moments. I am so grateful for her help and hospitality, and don't know what we'd have done without her help.
Well, we go back to the van and meet Craig in the parking lot when he arrives and we try to solve the mystery of the missing keys. Where in the world could they be? How could I have them one moment and not the next?
After tearing the van up looking for them...for the second time in about an hour's time, moving the van and shining the lights down in the parking lot to find them, we are about to give up. Geesh..so much for my driver's license, cards, etc....I've really got a mess on my hands now.
So, at this point, thinking hope is lost for finding them, Craig gets a thought and stands up to where he can see the roof of the van--"found 'em!" Yep, you guessed it...Stacy the dorkmom of the year had put the keys on the roof of the van when I went to strap kids in the car.....I NEVER put the keys on the roof!! Well, until this time, I guess!
It was a sweet relief, and I am so glad my keys, but more than that, my kids, are safely and happily at home sleeping in their beds (well, the keys don't have a bed and technically don't sleep, but you know what I mean!)
Thinking I need to get to bed too....before I pull another smooth move like that one off again!

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Saturday, October 20, 2007
A random act of kindness
Tonight I was the recipient of a very unexpected, very appreciated, totally random act of kindness from a sweet friend.
After we finished our supper tonight, I loaded up the little ones and went to Wal Mart to get a few things for youth group tomorrow night and a couple of things for us personally...but mostly, I went to get a watch. My watch had been on the blink for a few days, but last night while I was working at the lab, it finally gave it up and died. Ever since, I've been a little wacky with not being able to look at my watch....I'm one of those "I-can't-live-without-looking-at-my-watch-and-if-it's-gone-I'll-go-crazy" type of people. I REALLY "need" my watch! I use it a lot at youth group too, for timing games, etc. At the gym I use it...trying to keep up with my jobs I use it...you get the idea!
So anyhow, we walk into Wal-Mart and we see my friend as we are walking in. She and I visit a bit, which is always nice, since we don't get to visit nearly enough, normal catching up type of stuff, and I mention I am there because I just HAVE to get a watch, yadayadayada....So she says "hey, well lets go look at watches while we talk." I think nothing of it, and we visit and talk, and my kids are much happier being in motion than not, so it's great.
I proceed to pick out my little Timex ironman watch...not an expensive watch, but not one of the $5 ones either, simply because I can never work the cheapies....I found out many years ago to just get the ironman, even though it's a little bit more than the cheapies, because at least I can operate it!
Well, I find the watch I want, and my friend grabs it from me and says she wants to buy it for me....how sweet is that? I truly tried my hardest to talk her out of it, because I really didn't tell her I needed a watch for that....we were just talking about what we were doing there tonight. Well, she insisted, telling me she'd been wanting to do something for me for awhile and proceeded to buy my watch.
How can I say thank you enough? It was one of the kindest, sweetest suprises I have had in a long time. I am truly thankful, and I hope I can be that kind of friend too. We may not have any money, but we are rich beyond all belief where friends are concerned.
It's hard for me to accept stuff like that...it really is. But, my husband had a point tonight, I guess, when I told him about it. He said "sometimes, you just have to let people love you and care for you." Don't tell him I said so, but this time, I think he's probably right.


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Sunday, October 14, 2007
This is what it means to be held....
What a day today has been....I got up, after my usual about 4 hours of sleep, got the little ones up, dressed, and fed, and then went to church. Had to do the children's message, which was fun, and sang as always. Even got to go to my own Sunday School class, which is unusual, since I am usually trying to recruit help, talk to kids, or whatever else during that time. So, the day started out pretty normal, I guess.
Then, it was time to go to Hosuton for the Houston Aid in Neonatal Death (HAND) Remembrance Ceremony where I was to sing this afternoon. My dear friends lost a baby 4 years ago (hard to believe how long its been now) and they are involved with the group in Houston and also lead a ministry locally to be there for grieving parents. What a blessing to have friends that care so deeply as they do and are willing to use the pain they have experienced to help others who are grieving. Unbelievable blessing is the only way to describe these dear friends of mine and their heart for Christ.
Anyhow, they asked me to sing the song "Held" at the ceremony...a song about loss that is more honest than most anything I've ever heard. I was pretty much fine wtih the singing part all week and even this morning at church when we did it for our service. I ended up making it okay, since it was at the beginning of the ceremony, but whew...after that, it was time to fall apart.
The ceremony was a bittersweet, wonderful yet terrible experience that you wouldn't have wanted to miss, after having been through it, though it was really painful and gut-wrenching. It was difficult, yes, because of my own pregnancy losses, but more so I think because of the depth of the pain all around me. Being a mom myself, I think made it even more difficult. My heart goes out to all the families who were there today...and I feel so helpless to say anything but that, which sounds like so little.
This group really does such a wonderful thing by giving these families a safe place to grieve. I hurt to be there and after I left, but the Lord uses times like that to give us hope and refreshing, after the rain falls. I'm pretty much emotionally spent....but that's what life is about in some respects, right? The Lord is faithful, and He uses times like these....I believe He has used today to bring healing, I know to my heart in so many ways.
My prayer is that He used the time to bring healing to others as well..at least to the degree that we can have true healing, this side of Heaven.
Thanks, God, for teaching me more today about what it means to be "held."




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Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Have to try it!
Okay...so I have to put a blog on here, I guess! I've spent waaaaay too much time on this silly website tonight trying to make it look a little less "sterile" and a little more "me" and now its too late for me to try to study. So, I thought I'd just type something here and call it a night.
I honestly can't imagine anyone being interested enough to read any thoughts I might have on a blog, but maybe from time to time I'll put some down anyway.
For now: I am thankful for my babies and our good health. I am thankful the Lord has always provided for us. I NEED to trust that He always will. Times are really tight right now, but He has never not seen us through. I need to trust and I need to spend some more "knee time" as well.
Okay...got that out! That wasn't so hard to type something now, was it?! (uh oh...this myspace thing is getting crazy now...I'm talking to myself on a blog!) Uh oh...I REALLY had better get to bed now!