Did it again!!!

Yipppeee Yahhoooooo!!! I just got back from another late night run. Not my first choice of workout...the late night part, that is, but praise God, I got the workout in! Thirty-eight minutes of sweat, stars, and breathing really hard in the freshly cold air! AAAhhhh....I love it! There is nothing like the feeling of a good run! Especially when you haven't had many of them in a too long time! I love running in the cold. I mean, it's not like super cold--just about 50, but for us, that's like polar time!

I've been sorta stewing all evening at my husband for not allowing me the little bit of time I needed to get in a workout this evening sometime. We exchanged a few words over it later on tonight before I went out. He said I should've told him when I wanted to go....to which I replied that he was just going on about what all he had going and how he was going to do this, that, and the other and then get to bed--period, end of story. I had told him the only plans for tonight, only thing I needed was my half hour to go do some sort of workout. He never said much one way or the other and the next thing you know it's 9pm, dark, and I'm putting my kids to bed.

Well, I am not a negative person by nature. I'm really not. But sometimes I get pretty frustrated with this situation. So...in an effort to re-think this in a more positive manner, while I was out running, (did I mention it felt awesome!) I decided that instead of cursing the fact that I am married to a jerk that won't let me get away for 30 minutes to exercise while the kids are awake, I would instead choose to thank God for the fact that I live in a wonderful town where I really don't have to feel terribly afraid to go out and run at 10 pm. Of course, I would prefer not to, and I was extra super careful, but really, it is relatively safe here--if I lived in Houston or a lot of other places, that probably wouldn't be an option. So I will choose to be thankful instead of negative. (now, to carry that out....that's another matter entirely!)

I will say too...whenever I lose this weight and I'm down like 100 pounds from now, and people ask me what my secret is and how I did it.....I'm going to tell them to go BUY A STINKIN IPOD!!! That little thing keeps you exercising long after you would otherwise feel like stopping! This is just a little refurb older model nano I got for pretty cheap at Hastings...and I seriously think it's some of the best money I've spent. I used it for my class, which was great and the whole purpose of it in the first place...but man, as a workout tool, it's invaluble!

I did fairly well on the eating today. Mostly soupy stuff! I did the usual packet of cinnamon "Weight Control" oatmeal for breakfast, followed by a Fuju apple and just a few pretzels. (Apples, pretzels, and a diet Dr. Pepper are one heck of an awesome combo!) I'm sorta into those Fuji apples now. I used to be a Granny Smith girl, but I'm thinking since I've been to Fuji, I'm not going Granny again anytime soon! They are sweet and yummy! Then, for lunch I had a salad and some posole stuff I made last night. It was an old weight watchers recipe idea I hadn't made in good while, and it's yummy! You just cook up some onion in a pan with some cooking spray, add a couple of cans of Ro-Tel, a big can of hominy, some cubed up chicken breast, and a jar/can/whatever of salsa verde tomatillo stuff. It's a yummy spicy soup type thing that is great when it's cold outside. I like it a lot, and there's really nothing bad about it. The chicken cooks right in the soup and it's yummy! Then, I made some taco soup for supper. Super easy, super yummy, and not much too bad about it either. The worst thing in it is the hamburger meat, but there's not much of that, I used lean meat, and I rinsed it to get the grease off after I cooked it before it went in the soup. It was quite good!

The scale said I was down another about 3 or 4 pounds this morning. I'm thinking I was probably somewhat dehydrated, but I'll take it! Any sign of it going down is good in my book!

My sweet boys are feeling better today, so I am hoping they can go to school tomorrow. They so miss not being there! I tried to keep them low-key today just hanging out and resting mostly so they could get over this junk they've got. Missy G thankfully isn't showing any signs of being sick and I'm terribly grateful for that! Other than that, I feel sorta accomplished, because I made a big dent in the laundry today! I was hoping to go to bed tonight with everything in this house being clean, folded and put away....and though the night isn't over yet, I'm thinking it may be tomorrow before that goal happens. We go through SO much laundry around here! I'm working on it and feel good about the progress I did make though.

I did get to have a little time with the Lord today too, although it was shorter than I'd have liked. It is still sweet just to sit at His feet. I am going through this little study called Loving Well by Beth Moore. It' s just a little devotional journal type thingy and it's not terribly involved, but the simple truth in it is amazing. I read about a friend who went through it on her blog, and I decided to check it out. Beth tells 4 truths in the book that can help us love well:
1. God is perfect love.
2. God pours His perfect love into our imperfect hearts.
3. Nothing can seperate us from God's perfect love.
4. Accessed, I can love anyone through anything.
Today focused on number 1, about how God's character is love. Just as I am a woman...nothing will change that--not my mood, not my circumstances, not my age, nothing. I AM a woman...and God IS love. His love is so different than mine! I believe He is calling me to love well. I am praying for a miracle in the one part of my life where loving well is the most difficult. Thank God, He isn't finished with me yet! I know He can work a miracle...even in a stubborn heart like mine!

Okay....better go do some more laundry now. It's been a good day...and this run made it that much better! Tomorrow will be 3 weeks down. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.......

Woohoo...hoohoo...woohoohoo!!

Yup...I'm excited! I am still sweating like a pig from an awesome RUN....outside no less! The best run I've had in....probably 3 years! It was awesome....but more about that in a minute. I feel the need to recap the day! (I didn't feel this good til about a half hour ago!)

Anyhow...Was up several times last night with a sick little boy. He just didn't feel good, I think, and was having a hard time resting. I was going to try and send the other one to school, and thought we'd be able too, but I didn't have them up long and saw the only one feeling good today was Missy GG! Both boys were hot, and couldn't take 2 steps without just being in tears and upset....they were just very obviously not feeling good. I just hate it when they feel that way--I want so bad to help them feel better, and there's nothing I can do. It's a really helpless feeling I'm sure every mother is familiar with. The one silver lining though, was that I was home and didn't have to work at the hospital today. I was very grateful for that. I called and told them at the office I wouldn't be able to make the staff meeting and called the doctor's office as soon as they opened. They worked us in, and after the hour drive and lots of upsettedness (is that a word?) later, found out one just has the crud of some sort that is going around and the other has an ear infection--his third one in his 3-1/2 years. Not too bad, at least not relative to a lot of kids we know. Anyhow, we stopped on the way home for some lunch at Taco Cabana, and the boys didn't eat much, but that precious girl was covered head to toe in bean burrito by the time we got home! She was cracking me up! She only has 4 teeth, but those 4 did some major burrito damage! I got 2 steak fajita tacos, which were just fajita meat and flour tortilla, so that wasn't too terribly bad, although it was more I'm sure than I should be having at a meal.

We got back to town and dropped the prescription off at CVS (BBBBS as the boys call it!) and then stopped by the church for a second to check my mail and such. By the time we got home, it was nearly 3 pm, so there went today! They were all tired from the trip, so everyone had naps and I did a few things before laying down for a few minutes too.

I got a little frustrated (yeah, whats new!) with Craig, as he didn't get home til 5:30ish...I needed to go pick up the prescription and was hoping to get away for just 30 minutes TOTAL to take a walk or something, so as to keep up my M-F workout deal...I'm treating it as a non-negotiable. Well, by the time I got the prescription, got him and kids fed and then bathing kids, etc., of course, my workout didn't happen. I get just a little frustrated, because I really don't ask for much. I always take the kids to the gym with me so as not to disrupt whatever he may (or may not) be working on. I couldn't take them today because of the fevers, so all I wanted was 30 minutes. I am guessing that was too much, because it never happened. Okay...I've said I wouldn't blog about such things. Vent over, onward now:

Anyhow, my sweeties got to feeling better and I got them all in bed, and so I decided FINE....I am NOT going to let anything stop me from getting in this workout. So, as nervous as it made me to do it, I went out and went around our big block in our neighborhood tonight on a walk/run. There was actually another couple out walking, which was good to see. I think I started out walking like quite the fiend, just with my adrenaline kicking in!

Anyway, I went around our big block 3 times, which is probably a total of about 2.2 miles. I ran a LOT too! Probably more than half,which is better than I've done in a long time. It felt SO good! It started to rain on my just a little when I was walking down to the end of the street to cool down. I was so happy though: 1) To still get in the workout, even with what the day was like and the obstacles; 2) To have had such a good run...a feeling of accomplishment! I can really tell my working out is making me stronger, and I love that feeling!

There are still things I'm not so happy with--the laundry that needs folding right now (and washed!), the general state of my house, and I REALLY need more time with the Lord. But, I feel really jazzed about the working out deal. I'm tickled snotless about it!

Not sure what will happen tomorrow....hoping for healthy boys who are feeling much better, and a little girl who stays healthy! And a nice sweat-your-butt-off (and for me, that's a lot of sweat!) would be good too! Wooohooooooo!!!! I've got some energy now, so I guess I'll fold some clothes!

Today was good, but what to do tomorrow?

Well, today started a little rocky with a big, bad headache and then when I got up, I was so dizzy I had to hold onto the walls to walk through my house. Craziness! I am never dizzy like that....so yea, that was a little unsettling. I got a later start this morning due to that. I got my sweeties up, got their breakfasts, and then told them we needed to just sit down for a little bit so mommy could feel better before we went to the gym. Well, we finally got going and stopped by the church to do a few things we needed to do and then made it to the gym. I got in 30 minutes on the elliptical, and it felt good, although a little harder than usual, between how I was feeling and using the "interval" program for the first time. But, I made it, was covered in sweat by the end, and loved it like crazy!

After that, I had to get to work at the hospital, so I got the kids their lunches, and they really started to melt down before I went to work. I was in tears by the time I left! It's so hard to have to go to work when I feel like they need me. Well, by the time I had been there for a little while, I got a call from my husband that one of the boys seemed really hot and was very upset, nearly incosolable. Thinking we would need to make a trip to the urgent care clinic, I came home (I had the carseats) and he was doing much better.....seems when he was told he would have a visit to the doctor that he started feeling MUCH better. He was still rosy-cheeked and a little warm, but he was smiling, eating, and saying he felt fine. So, I decided to go back to work and see how things are in the morning.

Now, to figure out tomorrow. I don't think he can go to school; but what about his twin? It's awfully hard to take two 3-year-olds to school (which they love) and try to explain why one can go and one can't. I am also supposed to have a staff meeting at church in the morning, and had even made arrangements to go to school for lunch to see some of my youth. Not quite sure if I'll make it to anything as of now; I guess I'll just have to see how things go in the morning. Oh...and I HAVE to figure out a way to get some exercise tomorrow. I highly doubt that my husband will let me leave the house without kids while he is awake, but we can't go to the childcare place at the gym if he's sick. Geez! Speaking of which....I guess I better go clean the kitchen now. Came home from working tonight to food still being on the table and nothing being cleaned up (again)....gotta love that. grrrrr!

Hmmm....maybe I should spend some more time in that "Loving Well" devotional book I've been working my way through.....I need the Lord to do some lovin' through me...because I don't always feel like doing it on my own! Off to the kitchen now!

Monday, Monday

Today's been a pretty good day. I took the boys to school and then went to my office and got only a few things done before Missy GG started to melt on me. She usually starts getting tired and whiny about 10:30 or 11 and we have to go home. We went and picked the boys up at school after that, and I had to pull over before we got out of the parking lot to let one of them go show his music teacher his little truck. He wanted to take the truck into school, but I wouldn't let him, and I told him he could show her the truck when I picked them up. Well, it was a different teacher that walked them out today, so he was all upset about not getting to show off his truck....as was his twin brother! So, we got out of the pickup line, parked the van, and he was so proud to show his little truck off. Little stuff like that is just so precious. I am truly blessed with 3 precious little angels. They have their moments, of course, but I am just so crazy about them.

I came home after that and cleaned house and folded laundry. Made a little dent in stuff, but I could do nothing but house and yard work for probably a month and still not be totally caught up. A little dent is better than none though, I guess.

After everyone woke up from their naps, I got on my grubbed out workout clothes, and we went to the gym. I got in only a 30 minute run/walk on the treadmill, but it sure did feel good. I can tell I am getting stronger and more able. It feels so, so good to sweat! Went from there to church for my youth team meeting; and here I am, back at home.

I'm excited to say I got in the workout I did. I've been trying to treat the workout as a non-negotiable. No matter what else, I HAVE to make sure I get that in.

what a day

Wow...what a day this has been. Good in so many ways, but I'm whooped now! I really am needing some sleep. I was up til about 3 am yesterday trying to make sure I was ready for my children's message, sermon, and confirmation class this morning at church. It all seemed to come together well, which I am so grateful for. I had really prayed for the Lord's insight into the passage (Acts 12) I was preaching about, and as I was preparing yesterday, there were lots of things that just came to mind that I hadn't thought of before. One of those things where you KNOW it's the Lord and not you....I love stuff like that! Anyhow, I received a lot of wonderful encouragement and positive feedback, which really is more than a blessing than I can say. I enjoy so much getting to help with the preaching....and it makes it that much more fun to feel like what you've said actually resonates with a few people. Thank You Lord, for the opportunity and for giving me what I hope were Your words and not my own.

After the 2 services and teaching confirmation, I came home and took the boys to the grocery store with me because we were out of some stuff, and then we came home, ate some lunch and we ALL had naps. I slept for a solid 2 hours this afternoon, and it was dang hard to get my big butt up off the couch when it was time to go to meet up with my youth group tonight! We went bowling tonight, which was fun--and of course, now I smell like the bowling alley--aka, a big ashtray! So, I really need to get these clothes in to wash and wash my hair and all that sort of stuff so I'm not so smelly! I also managed to go to praise team practice and caught the tail end of it, and that was fun too.

When I came home, Craig had the video from service today that he wanted us to look at before we took it to the TV place for broadcast. He has to make sure all the sound is working right and stuff like that--and I saw myself preach. Now, the hearing isn't so bad. I've gotten to be mostly okay with that. But....the visual is just....AAAAARRRRGGGHHHH!! Okay, so I've lost a few pounds...but I am still probably the fattest person I've ever seen in my life. I can't tell I've lost a thing. I am enormous...which really stinks! That's the kind of thing that makes you never want to eat again. It's pretty darn depressing. I'm thinking the only thing worse than seeing how disgusting you look on a video like that is knowing that that video will be on TV in a week or so, seen all over town. Yeech!
There are a couple of posiives I can pull out though.....
---I am more determined now to NOT look this way for long!
---Hoping nobody could see me...but that maybe, just maybe it can be the Christ in me that shows, rather than me.
I must hang on to those things, or I'd just go crawl under a rock somewhere, for fear that someone might have to look at me.

Anyhow, tomorrow is back at em....I'll have to work out as soon as the kids wake up from their naps, hopefully around 5ish somewhere. I go into the office in the morning and we've got youth team meeting tomrrow night at 7, so I'll need to take that opportunity after naptime while its there. I also need to get the eating cleaned back up. I haven't been really bad, but we did go eat Mexican food yesterday since I had a lot to get ready for and really didn't want to cook. Tonight there were no good choices to eat while out bowling, so I didn't eat until I got home. I had some soup, which wasn't so bad....but at 11 pm, nothing is really going to be too good.

Anyhow....I am ready and determined and want to be whole hog (pardon the pun...get it, hog...me!) on this weightlosing thing. It'll be the beginning of week 3 of a M-F workout schedule, so we are close to having formed a habit, which is really cool. With His help, I'll get there!!!! Right now, I'm ready for this head to hit the pillow...as soon as I get the bowling alley smell out of my hair, that is!!

Two weeks of Monday through Friday down!

Well, I went to the gym today. Only got to do 25 minutes on the elliptical because I had a lot to do to get ready for my 5th and 6th grade youth, which was tonight, and a few other errands while the boys were at school. By the time I made it to the gym, 25 minutes was all I could push it. It wasn't long, but it was long enough to work up a good sweat and feel accomplished for the week. Can't complain with that. My eating was a little scattered today, but not terribly awful. We had pizza/calzones at youth tonight, so I ate 2 little pieces of the calzone and a half slice of pizza, which wasn't nearly as bad as I could've done. We only had 2 kids show up tonight, which was a bummer, but the 2 that were there had a lot of fun and it was good times with them. I really do feel the need to spend more time in prayer and trying to be creative with these kids. I ordered several books today from Youth Specialties today with ideas and stuff about youth culture and all that. It seems to be so different than even a few years ago when I left Young Life staff. Speaking of which: I have been sort of nostalgic for my Young Life days here lately. I don't miss the fundraising or stress of not knowing if I'd get a paycheck or not, but I do miss a lot of what we did and the kind of kids we tried to work with. I love my church kids dearly, but its not the same...I am trying to bring some of YL to my ministry at church, but that's easier to say than to do. Mostly because I am the First Pres lady now, and not the Young Life lady. Even if people aren't very active in their church or maybe even don't know Christ, they still have a loyalty, generally, to a specific church or denomination which makes it difficult to be the "First Pres" lady. When you are the YL lady, pretty much everyone loves and supports you; well, at least to some degree. Anyhow, the thing that really charges me up is sharing Jesus with kids who don't have a clue. Kids who realize they truly have a NEED for a Savior. There is nothing like it. I'm finding it difficult at times to help kids realize the importance of putting Christ first, when they sort of take their Christian faith and upbringing for granted. The gift of God to us in Christ is a gift we should never, ever be complacent about. It's not something to take for granted, though we (myself included) often do. It is a BIG deal...HE is a BIG deal...a really, really BIG FREAKING DEAL! I need to remember that, and I need to figure out ways to get my kids to get that.

Not much else exciting around here. I paid bills today, which isn't ever fun. I am thinking we have not a whole lot left to live on for a couple of weeks, but we can do it. Our freezer is full and our pantry is too--and Craig will hopefully have a check coming for some videos he did a month or so ago soon. This is a loooong tunnel we are in with our finances, and we aren't really seeing light yet, but we are moving ahead, which I am so grateful for. The Lord provides...and I am so humbled and grateful for it!

Well, I guess I need some sleep. I need to work on my sermon some more, so I"m hoping I can stay awake long enough to make progress there. As it says on the back page of our Veggie Tales book...."For now....Toodle do!"

Still truckin!

Well, today was Thursday, and I'm still truckin' along okay. I'm down 10 pounds so far, and grateful for that. Today I did 45 minutes on the elliptical at the gym and I dripped some sweat...that's so like the defining moment in a workout--when the sweat actually DRIPS off! I LOVE it! Yes, how weird am I?! It just feels so good to sweat and work like that. I listened to all sorts of stuff on that ipod while I worked out. I really, really like that thing! When I think about all the money I have spent through the years on...well....crap for weight loss--and the best money I ever spent was for that little refurb nano. I can workout like a fiend with it on! And it's sort of like my getaway time, because I don't ever have the chance to listen to music and just sorta relax like that, so it's extra cool. I listened to Relient K, Sonny and Cher, the Eagles, Clay Crosse, Wes King, Jars of Clay, and I don't remember who else.

I was good on my eating today, although I didn't get to eat supper til much later than I'd have liked. I worked at the lab this evening and we were really, really busy. I didn't hardly stop to even use the bathroom for the longest, and I didn't get to eat dinner til around 9 pm, about an hour before time to get off work. I ordinarily wouldn't have eaten that late, but there wasn't much choice tonight. We had lots of work to do!

Oh....been meaning to post about the fact I gave blood Sunday. Our church had a blood drive, and so it was very easy to go do after church while we were still there. I was amazed that my hematocrit was like 45 or 46--thinking their little machine thingy must be wacky. That translates to about a 15-something hemoglobin, which I've never had in my life! My pulse was 60, which was much better than I expected, and my BP was like 118/70-something, which is pretty darn good too. I got the card today with my cholesterol on it, and it was 131, not fasting, which isn't too shabby either. Aside from the extra 100 pounds, I guess I"m pretty healthy.

Anyhow....tomorrow night is our Friday Night Live, 5th and 6th grade youth. I need to finish getting ready for that and then work on my sermon for Sunday. Thankfully, I don't have to work at the lab on Saturday (though I was asked to this morning!) so I will have some good time to work then.

Well, guess that's all for now. I plan to go to the gym tomorrow morning before I pick my boys up at school. Then, it'll be 2 weeks of M-F workouts...yay! With the Lord's help, I'm getting there!

Next time....on contemplating giving up chocolate! (say it isn't so!)

Wednesday

Well, today was a good day. Went to the office this morning and got to talk at length with one of our new elders who will be working in Christian Ed the next 3 years and got to discussing some important stuff, which was good. Prayer, prayer, prayer, is the conclusion we keep all coming back to....are we really a people of prayer, or do we fall miserably short? I think the latter is probably more of the case--praise God that He is able to work despite our weaknesses and bring us back once again to our knees, where we should have been all along.

My boys stayed at preschool for stay and play today successfully, so that was big fun for them. I am so proud of how well they are doing with their potty stuff. Baby G napped a little bit while we were home, but she wanted to get out and play mostly. So, it was some good mommy-daughter time! When I picked the boys up, they had notes in their backpacks that one little boy at their school (also a twin, incidentally, and one whose parents I know) had a heart transplant on Sunday. I don't know any of why or any of that, but I can't imagine what they must be going through with that. My heart goes out to them. There was also another little boy, who I don't know, who has a brain tumor that is evidently producing some sort of seizures, and he is going to be undergoing radiation to have it shrunk. I just can't imagine; I was in tears reading this letter from preschool. Life is such a precious gift; and we would do well to remember that!

In other matters, I worked out at the gym this evening. Not a big deal, just 35 minutes of running/walking on the treadmill. I got to sweating pretty good and it was awesome. I am somewhat trying to follow along the program by Chantel Hobbs, which I read about in her book Never Say Diet. She is a gal who lost 200 pounds!!!! And now she is like model-gorgeous! Amazing, incredible story. I saw her on TV and then I had to read her book. She is super fit and really an inspiration. She is also a Christian, and it seems she really is using her "new self" to bring glory to the Lord, which is way cool.

Anyhow, I got my working out done....tomorrow evening I have to work at the lab and then Friday night I have my 5th and 6th grade youth, so those will be busy days--I'm planning on the gym in the morning before I have to work and then again on Friday, probably in the morning after I leave the office a little early.

Anyhow, so far so good! I'm determined this time around to make this work and see it through!!!!

Good day so far

Well, its been a good day so far. Haven't accomplished as much as I'd like, but I did make it to the gym for 45 minutes on the elliptical. It said I burned 600 calories! Don't know how accurate that was, but wow! That was pretty good! It feels easier in some ways than the running, but you don't really ever quit moving or slow down, which is the challenge. The kids LOVE going to the "gwym" as they call it. That sure does make it a whole lot easier to make it there.

I'm in need of cleaning my house up some, doing laundry, working on my sermon for Sunday and some time with the Lord, just to sit at His feet. Think I'll take advantage of the quiet house right now with my 3 little nappers!

Happy Monday!

Well, today was a pretty good day. I didn't do a whole lot, but I did get my workout in at the gym, which felt awesome. I'm also down another pound for a total of 9 now. I'm so glad!

Since it was a holiday, the boys were out of school, so I gave them their haircuts. They both sorta screamed all the way through it, especially with the clipper buzzing the way it did, but they were oh so proud of their haircuts when it was over! So glad they are so forgiving of mom's less-than-perfect haircuts, to say the least!! Baby sister was just hanging out watching it all being precious, of course!

Then, we went to the gym and I got on the treadmill and walked/ran for 50 minutes. I think there was a little more walking than running, just because I felt a little low on energy today, but I still managed to drip some sweat--(love that!) and get a good workout. It felt awesome. I so love to sweat! Today it was to Sonny and Cher, The Eagles, Clay Crosse, Relient K and even the Mighty Wind Soundtrack. Do I have weird musical tastes or what! I did pretty good all day on eating too. Not much to be upset about there.

After the gym I had to get home because I had to be at work at 1:30 this afternoon at the lab. It was a pretty busy evening, but it calmed down an hour before I got to leave around 9pm. I was in hematology tonight, so I got to stay pretty focused on one area, which was nice.

Tomorrow is a no-school day for the boys, so we will probably go to the gym and I'll work on laundry and stuff like that, and try to work on my sermon for Sunday. I'm preaching this week, and I have things lined out pretty well, but I need to work through it some more and add more meat.

In other news, I'm totally pumped, because I found out the Fuller campus in Houston is going to, most likely, start offering the MDiv degree beginning in the fall. I'm working on my Masters now there in Youth, Family, and Culture, which is fine, but I really wanted to get the MDiv rather than the MA....and now it looks like that may be a possibility. I'm pretty pumped about that!

Okay....better get going for now. Need to work on my sermon and figuring out youth stuff for the weekend too. Happy Monday, anyone who might happen to stumble on this!

One week of working out down!

Well, today was Friday and it was a busy, but good one. I was thinking I wasn't going to be able to go to the gym at all, because I go to the office at church on Friday mornings and I also had to work at the hosptial this evening. So, I was thinking my only option for a workout was early morning--which, anyone who knows me knows that probably isn't very likely to actually happen! Of course, when the alarm went off at 6 am, I just hit the "off" button and slept another hour until it was time to get up and get my kids up and out the door for school and to my office. But, I had packed a bag and decided to just leave the office early before I went to pick the boys up at school to work out. I didn't have long, but I still got in a 20-minute run-walk, which felt AWESOME! I am so glad I went! It just feels so good to sweat, and then you feel better the rest of the day too. Anyhow, I had a good little run. I then picked up the boys, got everyone their lunch and down for naps, and then it was time for me to go to the lab for my evening shift. We had a good evening, so I'm glad for that. Now, I just need to clean my kitchen up....I'm not into coming home to a dirty kitchen, but I'm REALLY not into waking up to one! My husband left me a note that the boys were scared of the thunder tonight, so he couldn't clean up. So....oh well....guess I better get to cleaning then.

today

Well, I got in a great run/walk at the gym today! I am so pumped to be seeing progress! I didn't have to rush too bad because we got out the door early enough that we weren't rushed, which was nice. The boys and sweetie girl love playing in the play area at the gym, which I am so thankful for. I walked for 5 minutes on the treadmill to warm up, then started running...sorta slow, but it was a run. Was able to run for 10 minutes, then walked 5, then ran for 15--had planned on doing 10, but I felt so good, and I think that was when Lynard Skynard "Freebird"...like the extended dance mix version...was on! So, I went 15. Then, I walked 5 and ran hard for 5--like 5 and 6 mph, which for me is top speed right now! Then, I walked for 5 to cool down. I was sweating like a pig and it was awesome!

I shudder to think other people will read this and know what I weigh, but I am doing this blog for accountability, and I feel like I need to be perfectly honest. I've lost probably 7 or 8 pounds in the last couple of weeks--and today I was 237. There....it's out, my totally embarrassing and disgustingly ridiculous obesity, set to numbers...oh yea, did I mention I'm only 5'4"? Yup...not a pretty sight--not at all! I'll add pictures at some point--hopefully before and some AFTERS that tell the tale of where I've been!

Anyhow...it's late, so I better get to bed. I'll write more about my other stuff I"m trying to fix with me later on!

In other news

Went to the gym tonight...felt soooooo good! I only had about 25 minutes after supper, cleaning the kitchen and getting the kids packed up and gone with me, but what a great 25 minutes! It was awesome! Have I mentioned that Bowling for Soup is awesome to run to?! Oh yeah, it is!

I'm pretty stinkin' excited! My grades were just posted this evening on the Fuller Campus Pipeline website....which I have been checking like..oh, everytime I'm at the computer for weeks now, pretty much, and
I GOT A B+ IN MY CLASS!!
Wahooooooo!!!! I'm really excited! I was sure, sure, sure that I failed really, really bad...so, so thankful that I didn't! I don't know what the individual grades were on the tests and paper, but the final, overall grade was a B+! I hardly ever did that good in my biomed stuff at A&M, so I'm way tickled over this!
Now I'm encouraged to sign up for another class for the Spring Quarter. Not sure if I'll do the Old Testament class in Houston or another distance one yet, but I will take one in the Spring quarter for sure, one way or another. I am glad I took off the winter quarter though....The retreat last weekend was worth it and I am making some progress at getting life leveled out, so I still think it was a good decision. I called Alan--our pastor, my boss, my mentor--when I got my grade, just because I needed to tell someone about how I did...especially someone who had read my paper and seen my tests. In his very distinctive North of England accent he said "Oh, so I guess you still have a brain up there after all..." Why yes, I do believe I guess I must!!!

MySpace blog archive; copied here

Monday, January 14, 2008
This and that
It's been awhile since I wrote on here, so I thought I'd post something new. I usually just try to write when there is something cool to write about; well, I guess there hasn't been too much too cool to write about, but I did have a really fun weekend, so I can tell a little about that!
Our church had our annual women's retreat this weekend and it was so much fun. It was my third one to have gone on, and it is just really a fun time to get away and hang out and enjoy getting to know folks you may not know that well and enjoying the company of those you already know and love. The first year I went it was in Palacios and we had a pretty cheesy speaker and sessions, but it was still fun to hang out with everyone. It was before I had kids, and it was also the weekend that the Columbia space shuttle was destroyed when it was re-entering the earth's atmosphere. That's a lot of what I remember about that year. Not being a mom, the "getting away" part wasn't as big of a deal and being the news junkie I am, I felt a little cheated at not being able to see the immediate news coverage of the shuttle disaster. (yes, I know, I'm weird!) I do remember it being fun though.
Last year, I was given a trip to the retreat as a Christmas gift from my husband, whose babysitting fell through (he had a bridal show to do at the mall for his video company) so I spent most of the weekend running back and forth so I could hang out at the retreat and take care of my kids pretty much all day....but I loved the time I was there and enjoyed it a ton.....so, this year, when I decided to not do school this quarter, I was for sure signing up for the retreat. My husband had his parental units come down to help with (well, lets be honest...to take over the childcare) my kids for the weekend, so I got to be there for almost the whole thing this year. (almost, because I had one of my youth groups Friday night and couldn't leave until it was over.)
It was sooooo relaxing, so fun, and I laughed til my face hurt. I roomed with a dear friend who is also a night owl, so though we didn't sleep much, we had such a great time getting to stay up til all hours visiting. She is a wonderful listener and was kind enough to listen to me do a lot of venting about some stuff that weighs heavily on me, and what a gift that was to be able to talk that out. I hope I was a good listener as well, although I don't think there's any way she could have received as much blessing from me as I did from her over the time we were there!
I also got to spend time with some other dear friends working on and helping to lead our worship times with music, which was a ton of fun, and got to play my guitar more than I have in a long time. The weather was beautiful, the speakers were good, and it was just an overall really sweet time of refreshing, which I am so thankful for. Oh...and we got smores!!! How cool is that!!!!!!
I'm grateful for the gifts of my friendships and know that I have been blessed. I also have some renewed hope to try and make some things in my life better. There is a song by Switchfoot called "This is your life" and it's been meaning a lot to me lately: This is your life, are you who you want to be? That is the question the song asks...I know I'm not, but Lord willing, hopefully someday I will be.
In other news: Went to the gym today and it was awesome! I have been able to be pretty consistent at it, and it is amazing how much better I feel. I got to run some on the retreat this weekend outside too, which was great. As I type, I am putting some new songs into my itunes from old cd's so I have some more running music. I think I probably have the most eclectic ipod repertoire known to man. I mean, who else do you know that has Casting Crowns and Chris Tomlin and hymns followed by Merle Haggard, Patsy Cline and Rhinestone Cowboy by Glen Campbell? Oh, and we can't forget the Harry Connick Jr (have I mentioned he is just hot?! heehee!) and the Bowling For Soup that is like the best running music I've EVER heard! Got some Bon Jovi and Bryan Adams too...Have I mentioned that ipods are cool?! I am really enjoying mine...and I am convinced it will get me skinny someday!!!
Other thing I'm working on is a sermon for week after next when I get to fill in. Gonna talk about Acts 12--such a funny story! Luke would have been fun to get to know...at least based on Acts 12! Peter getting released from prison by God, rushing to go see his buds and the gal who opens the door is so excited to go tell everyone she leaves him out in the cold....it's like a movie! Anyhow...working on that.
Okay...that's probably good for now; who in the world would have any interest to read through my incoherent ramblings I don't know, but if you are interested, here it is! And that's all I got to say about that!
11:41 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Sweatiness is next to godliness! Current mood: refreshed
Sweatiness just HAS to be next to godliness...I never feel so at peace as when I am drenched in sweat, head to toe from making this hunk-o-chunkiness self of mine do more than it really ought to!
I know it's nothing unique to me, but I have been wound tighter than a spring on a new Serta the last several weeks...okay, probably years, but we'll give me the benefit of the doubt and just look at the last few weeks. I have been trying to finish this class I am taking, plus the 2 jobs and taking care of the house and kids pretty much by myself...which is another source of frustration in and of itself, but that issue isn't one for blogging about. I feel like I am stretched about as thin as thin can get right now. Put on top of that the fact that there isn't enough money coming in to keep up with our bills and that I feel like a completely fat slob in this overweight-by-100-pounds-I-had-3-babies-in-2-years-and-I-REALLY-eat-a-lot-when-I-am-stressed body of mine, and well......as you see, I'm probably on a bananna peel ready to pop a gasket at any time!
I've been needing sooooo badly to exercise. I go and change clothes but then someone needs a diaper changed or my house needs cleaned so the health department won't shut us down, or someone has to go potty, or it's 3 am, or whatever, and before you know it, another day has gone by and here I go getting fatter and more stressed.
Well, last night I decided (at least for today) that enough is enough already, and this morning I WAS going to make it to the gym, come hell or high water! This morning I got up and got dressed, and lemme tell you, I was SO ready by the time we were done with breakfast.....it was a no-preschool day today, so we didn't really have a schedule to keep, but it just felt like, to me, that there was an inordinate amount of whining happening around here...I'm really not a fan of whining....okay, let's call it what it is: I loathe whining! I do my best to have patience since my precious whiners were only 3 and 1 years old today, but you get must past that, and there's no mercy from me on the whining issue!
Anyhow, by the time we made it out the door, to the church to pick up a few books for this paper and to the gym, I was ready to run until I blew an artery....This fat body was going to make that treadmill smoke, baby (and not just from the impact of my weight on it!)! I needed that exercise like a druggie needs a....well, whatever druggies call what the drugs are they do! (I watch Intervention on A&E, but have never picked up on all the lingo yet).
Oh....one more bit of info I must insert.....I had to (well, maybe not had, but it was certainly a justified purchase) to get an ipod the other week....primarily for the reason of listening to my class lectures. I got an older model refurb, so I didn't pay all that much, but my lectures were all MP3 and I needed a way I could listen to them without being tied to my computer, otherwise this class was never going to be finished. Anyhow, I have slowly been adding music to my little nano, and so this was the first time I had the chance to take it to the gym and use it for something besides school stuff.
Okay...back to the gym now---I put my little ipod on and I ran on that treadmill....I walked a lot too, but I was MOVING, which was really the whole point. I ran to Casting Crowns and Bebo Norman. I ran to Jars of Clay (they run really well, by the way) and to Rich Mullins. I ran to my kids' "Folk Playground" and to Mighty Wind. I ran to Chris Tomlin, Harry Connick Jr (who is so good looking, you could just imagine being skinny and running to whereever he is...heehee!), and even to Merle Haggard (Okie from Muskogee runs pretty well!) I ran to Jonah Werner and some random Young Life musicians whose names I don't know. My kids were playing and having a blast in the play area and I was running like a crazy woman....and it felt GOOD!
I can remember when Craig and I used to fight..well, I mean, we fight all time now....never mind....when we would be in an argument, I can remember going out (this was back the first time I trained for a marathon and I was actually in pretty decent shape) and running...especially when it was cold outside....and he'd be on the bike beside me. I remember even though we'd be nearly at each other's throats before the run, I actually sorta liked him again by the time we'd covered 5 or 6 miles! It was sorta like that today.....I was such a stressball....and I am pretty darn mellow now! I've gotta work this evening and will probably be the mellowest med tech the lab has ever seen!
Anyhow, all that to say, I am refreshed and I need to commit to getting my exercise more, no matter how much is going on. It would make my body healthier (and much easier to not be disgusted by, I'm sure) but I think I really need it more than anything for my emotional well-being. I'll probably be sore tomorrow...but that's okay! Call me masochistic, but I really actually LOVE that sore feeling from exercise! Yes, I like the way a sunburn feels too, so I'm a freak show, I know! Soreness has to be pretty close to godliness in my book too!
Now, if I could just stay away from the chocolate therapy, I'd be doing REALLY good!!!!
2:01 AM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
3:19 am and wow!
Yep, It's 3:19 in the morning, and I just finished listening to my last lecture for my class I am taking about the Gospels. It's a distance class, and I think I got myself into quite the pickle with it...it's an individualized distance learning class; i.e. if-you-tend-to-procrastinate-you-are-toast kind of a class! All my course work is due in about a week and a half..which means I still have a buttload of reading to do (and yes, for me that is A LOT!) a paper to write, and taking my final. It's one of those things that I know in my own strength, wouldn't even be remotely possible....Yes, I am in a "big, bumpy pickle" as my boys would say (ala the veggies!)
But wow, vinegarized (is that a word?) cucumbers aside, what a wonderful class this is! The last lecture I listened to tonight especially. So much so, I felt compelled to blog at 3:19 am! She (the professor) was summarzing the message of the Gospels as well as the Gospel as laid out in Paul's letters too, and she ended up with such a profound, yet challenging concept, especially given the culture we live in.
She talked about how we tend to approach Bible study with the angle "what is in it for me" or "how does this relate to me" sort of an attitude. In other words, we turn everything toward ourselves and tend to make it fit our own circumstances or our own needs....I suppose part of that is an attempt at application, which is fair enough, but she was making the point that we must remember...the Gospel is about GOD and what HE does...regardless of our response, our life, or anything else. Yes, He loves us and He came to redeem us, as part of His people, but we must approach our study with GOD being first...and understand what does this teach about Him.
Our salvation isn't about anything WE do...yes, we have the option of responding or not responding, but it is HIS perogative and HIS work that it's all about. To remember the first phrase of Rick Warren's Purpose Driven Life book, "it's not about you." Geesh, what good it would do for us to remember that truth. Pretty much everything we are surrounded with every single day in our culture, what we are immersed in, is contrary that statement. She pointed out that in one of Paul's letters (and no, I don't remember which one at the moment) our life is to be "hidden with Christ"...what a wonderful thing, that WE wouldn't be seen, but it would be Him that is what it's all about. Well, I say it's wonderful, and it is, but it's so against my nature. I mean, I want to be all cool and everything..."look at me, I follow Jesus" and "honk if you love Jesus, praise-a-leujah!!" and all that sort of stuff....which is so NOT the point of the Gospel message. Gosh, it's that whole flesh thing again.....what a pain!
Incidentally, one of the really, I think, hilarious things she did toward the end of the lecture was tell us of her habit of surfing the internet for sermons and seeing how they line up with the message and life of Christ and the Word. She said it's depressing, to see what sort of stuff is out there, and she gave us a few examples...it really served to illustrate the point well....about how we try to make God's Word all about us. Scary thing is, I saw some of my own flawed ideas in some of her examples. It was a good thing to see it pointed out in that way--really eye-opening.
Lord, help me to properly handle Your word and to always remember it is truly ALL ABOUT YOU! I ask that my own attitude would be focused on You and You alone, that I might reflect that to others as well.
Oh, and help me to fall asleep now.....I probably should really get to bed!


3:18 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove
Monday, November 05, 2007
Uh oh!
Wow...what a weekend this has been...I'm awfully tired, and am really ready to get to sleep here soon. But, since I had a little something to say, I thought I'd write!
Friday night I worked a night shift at the lab for training on nights, which went just fine. I got off of work at 6 am Saturday morning and slept about 4 hours after that and just couldn't really sleep any longer. Then, since I was preaching this morning at church to fill in, I was up pretty darn late...til 3ish last night, which meant about 3-1/2 hours of sleep or so was all I got last night. The preaching went fine and then we had youth group tonight.
We had a movie night, so as to be a low-stress sorta evening after all the prep that went in for this morning. And that all worked out fine.
Then, it was time to leave.
It was a little crazy, because the nursery ladies had gone already, so I had my 3 little ones and was trying to care for them and finish up with my high school friends and clean up, etc all at the same time. So we finally get all our stuff from the movie and the food etc. put up and taken care of and I am really, really, really ready to get home at this point, since my 1-year-old is screaming her sweet little head off because she's tired and my 3-year-olds are pretty much ready to be gone too.
So, I walk out to my van with the last kids who are left and the last load of stuff to carry out and I have locked all the doors behind me, turned lights out, etc. I am on the way out to the parking lot and open the van doors with my key thingy...the kids comment on how it's cool the doors open like that. Well, I get my little ones all strapped in their car seats, go to leave, and.....
Uh oh.....where are my keys?
I KNOW I had them going out...otherwise, how would I have locked the doors of the church and opened the doors to the van? Of course I had them with me.
I proceed to dump my purse and tear my van apart (all with my baby angel screaming her baby head off, mind you) in the dark trying to find my keys...to no avail, of course! I pull out my cell phone to call my husband, and the battery is so dead on it that it doesn't even tell me it's low...it's just DOWN for the count.
Cue the "oh crap" panic attack, please!
Now if I were on my own, it would've been a not good situation. But with my two 3-year-olds and a 1-year-old, this was bad....very bad! I had thoughts of walking home with them...but that's a 3-mile trek. Okay for me, but not for them, especially in the dark. Maybe I could go somewhere to call my husband. Everywhere was much farther than we should've been going....and all I wanted to do was get home..
Did I mention too, that all my important cards and ID and all were also with the keys that are MIA? Oh yes, lets not forget that too!
I decided I had to do something, so I got the little stroller out for Missy G and told the boys to start walking with me. We all went, hand in hand, to the house next to the church. I had remembered going there to invite kids to the Family Fun Night at church a couple of years ago at Halloween and also inviting kids to VBS. The porch light was on and it looked like an "awake" home.
The boys and I pray for the Lord's safety, not knowing where we re going for sure, and we knocked on the door. A nice lady opened the door and when we told her our situation, she was so kind to invite us into her living room and let us use her phone. So, we got ahold of Craig, and he was on his way, and we visited for a few moments. I am so grateful for her help and hospitality, and don't know what we'd have done without her help.
Well, we go back to the van and meet Craig in the parking lot when he arrives and we try to solve the mystery of the missing keys. Where in the world could they be? How could I have them one moment and not the next?
After tearing the van up looking for them...for the second time in about an hour's time, moving the van and shining the lights down in the parking lot to find them, we are about to give up. Geesh..so much for my driver's license, cards, etc....I've really got a mess on my hands now.
So, at this point, thinking hope is lost for finding them, Craig gets a thought and stands up to where he can see the roof of the van--"found 'em!" Yep, you guessed it...Stacy the dorkmom of the year had put the keys on the roof of the van when I went to strap kids in the car.....I NEVER put the keys on the roof!! Well, until this time, I guess!
It was a sweet relief, and I am so glad my keys, but more than that, my kids, are safely and happily at home sleeping in their beds (well, the keys don't have a bed and technically don't sleep, but you know what I mean!)
Thinking I need to get to bed too....before I pull another smooth move like that one off again!

12:27 AM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove
Saturday, October 20, 2007
A random act of kindness
Tonight I was the recipient of a very unexpected, very appreciated, totally random act of kindness from a sweet friend.
After we finished our supper tonight, I loaded up the little ones and went to Wal Mart to get a few things for youth group tomorrow night and a couple of things for us personally...but mostly, I went to get a watch. My watch had been on the blink for a few days, but last night while I was working at the lab, it finally gave it up and died. Ever since, I've been a little wacky with not being able to look at my watch....I'm one of those "I-can't-live-without-looking-at-my-watch-and-if-it's-gone-I'll-go-crazy" type of people. I REALLY "need" my watch! I use it a lot at youth group too, for timing games, etc. At the gym I use it...trying to keep up with my jobs I use it...you get the idea!
So anyhow, we walk into Wal-Mart and we see my friend as we are walking in. She and I visit a bit, which is always nice, since we don't get to visit nearly enough, normal catching up type of stuff, and I mention I am there because I just HAVE to get a watch, yadayadayada....So she says "hey, well lets go look at watches while we talk." I think nothing of it, and we visit and talk, and my kids are much happier being in motion than not, so it's great.
I proceed to pick out my little Timex ironman watch...not an expensive watch, but not one of the $5 ones either, simply because I can never work the cheapies....I found out many years ago to just get the ironman, even though it's a little bit more than the cheapies, because at least I can operate it!
Well, I find the watch I want, and my friend grabs it from me and says she wants to buy it for me....how sweet is that? I truly tried my hardest to talk her out of it, because I really didn't tell her I needed a watch for that....we were just talking about what we were doing there tonight. Well, she insisted, telling me she'd been wanting to do something for me for awhile and proceeded to buy my watch.
How can I say thank you enough? It was one of the kindest, sweetest suprises I have had in a long time. I am truly thankful, and I hope I can be that kind of friend too. We may not have any money, but we are rich beyond all belief where friends are concerned.
It's hard for me to accept stuff like that...it really is. But, my husband had a point tonight, I guess, when I told him about it. He said "sometimes, you just have to let people love you and care for you." Don't tell him I said so, but this time, I think he's probably right.


11:06 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove
Sunday, October 14, 2007
This is what it means to be held....
What a day today has been....I got up, after my usual about 4 hours of sleep, got the little ones up, dressed, and fed, and then went to church. Had to do the children's message, which was fun, and sang as always. Even got to go to my own Sunday School class, which is unusual, since I am usually trying to recruit help, talk to kids, or whatever else during that time. So, the day started out pretty normal, I guess.
Then, it was time to go to Hosuton for the Houston Aid in Neonatal Death (HAND) Remembrance Ceremony where I was to sing this afternoon. My dear friends lost a baby 4 years ago (hard to believe how long its been now) and they are involved with the group in Houston and also lead a ministry locally to be there for grieving parents. What a blessing to have friends that care so deeply as they do and are willing to use the pain they have experienced to help others who are grieving. Unbelievable blessing is the only way to describe these dear friends of mine and their heart for Christ.
Anyhow, they asked me to sing the song "Held" at the ceremony...a song about loss that is more honest than most anything I've ever heard. I was pretty much fine wtih the singing part all week and even this morning at church when we did it for our service. I ended up making it okay, since it was at the beginning of the ceremony, but whew...after that, it was time to fall apart.
The ceremony was a bittersweet, wonderful yet terrible experience that you wouldn't have wanted to miss, after having been through it, though it was really painful and gut-wrenching. It was difficult, yes, because of my own pregnancy losses, but more so I think because of the depth of the pain all around me. Being a mom myself, I think made it even more difficult. My heart goes out to all the families who were there today...and I feel so helpless to say anything but that, which sounds like so little.
This group really does such a wonderful thing by giving these families a safe place to grieve. I hurt to be there and after I left, but the Lord uses times like that to give us hope and refreshing, after the rain falls. I'm pretty much emotionally spent....but that's what life is about in some respects, right? The Lord is faithful, and He uses times like these....I believe He has used today to bring healing, I know to my heart in so many ways.
My prayer is that He used the time to bring healing to others as well..at least to the degree that we can have true healing, this side of Heaven.
Thanks, God, for teaching me more today about what it means to be "held."




9:45 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Have to try it!
Okay...so I have to put a blog on here, I guess! I've spent waaaaay too much time on this silly website tonight trying to make it look a little less "sterile" and a little more "me" and now its too late for me to try to study. So, I thought I'd just type something here and call it a night.
I honestly can't imagine anyone being interested enough to read any thoughts I might have on a blog, but maybe from time to time I'll put some down anyway.
For now: I am thankful for my babies and our good health. I am thankful the Lord has always provided for us. I NEED to trust that He always will. Times are really tight right now, but He has never not seen us through. I need to trust and I need to spend some more "knee time" as well.
Okay...got that out! That wasn't so hard to type something now, was it?! (uh oh...this myspace thing is getting crazy now...I'm talking to myself on a blog!) Uh oh...I REALLY had better get to bed now!

New me, new blog!

Well, I tried this once before and wasn't very successful at it, so I"m going to try again. I have blogged a few times on my myspace page, which I will copy onto a posting here, just for posterity. This though, is really an accountability thing for me though. The title is from the song by Switchfoot that asks the question: "This is your life...are you who you want to be." Well, actually....no, thank you very much! I am NOT who I want to be; but Lord willing, someday I will be. I should say will be again; I feel I have drifted away from being the real me and who I want to be because of my life circumstances, but I am no longer going to be controlled by all that. I am going to let God re-make me into His creation, giving Him glory for whatever I do.

One thing about this blog, is I'd like to use it for accountability to becoming who I want to be--especially in the way of this big awful thing we call my body! I am trying to get it smaller and healthier, and hope to post some pics along my journey to better health.

I am a child of God...a daughter of the King, saved by the blood of Jesus Christ. I am a wife...although, not a very good one, I am afraid. I am a mommy--my favorite title in the whole world! And I am a youth director at my beloved church. Over the last 10 years, I have fallen in so many ways. I am ready to begin picking up the pieces, and being who I was created to be! Even if no one else reads this thing....I think it will do me some good!