Two for Two!

Well, we are two days into the new week, and I have run both days (at the buttcrack of dawn, no less!) so far--yay me! Not only that, but I was able to run for a full half hour without walk breaks. Now granted, I am probably running slower than most walk, but hey, I'm running! When I think about how much of me is out there running, I feel better about it...I mean, I probably comprise about 2 skinny friends worth...so if you think about a skinny runner running with another runner like strapped on their shoulders, well, that's the effort I'm putting forth...so I can feel good about that! (Hopefully that wont' be the case for too long...I am starting to see the scale move ever so slowly in the right direction!) And hey...at this point in my life, I figure, if I have to wear a sports bra and cushy shoes to do it, by golly, I can call it RUNNING! True...after 2 kids in 3 years, I should probably be wearing a sports bra and cushy shoes for most activities, but well...lets just say I am running...and I'm excited about it!

Oh..and I forgot to mention previously, that not only am I signed up for the triathlon in April, but yes, I have lost my mind yet again...and I signed up for the Surfside Beach Half Marathon in February....I figured I could walk a half now if I had to, so whatever I can run, so much the better. And it keeps me motivated to run, so thats exciting. Not only that, but its on a Saturday, which means I don't have to miss church for it, and I don't have to travel since its oh...10 minutes away! It's a also a relatively cheap event to enter, so that works too! Money is a huge stressor right now...or should I say, lack therof. We have been struggling so much for quite awhile, and every few months or so, we just have one of those seriously tight months where I have to pay stuff late and wonder if I can even pay stuff at all....we always get past them and the Lord always provides somehow, some way, but it still really stinks in the middle of it--this happens to be one of those months. Love that! Christmas! And taxes in January...ugh! There is a light at the end of the tunnel, as most of our major debt should be gone in about 3-1/2 years, but ugh....it just gets draining after a while. Time flies....except when you are trying to get rid of debt, it seems! I am so thankful for what we have though.....healthy, happy kiddos being right up at the top of the list. I can remember one of those incredibly tight months a couple of years ago when all I could do was stress over money...and then Silas broke his leg. More money stress yes, but oh my gosh...how badly he was hurting with that when it happened just put everything into perspective. There is a little boy who I get updates on who deals with multiple seizures per day and they don't know what causes them. My heart just goes out to that family....I hurt for them...and I am so grateful that despite all the junk it seems I have going on, that we truly have so much to be thankful for...and I am thankful!

Better get showered up and ready for work this evening at the lab....I'm not crazy about having to work this evening, but I AM so glad I EARNED my shower!!!! Woohoo!

Time to fess-up-date

Well, its been a rough last week and I must confess, I haven't run in right at a week. I will say I am missing it though! Last week I got this nasty awful cold-type something and it threw me off big time. I went to bed one night at like 9:30, which is unheard of for me..like, ever! I don't think I had the flu, because I think I would've taken longer to get over it, but my body ached and I felt in general like crud. I know I had fever too, because I went to bed that one night with my coat on, flannel jammies, and a pile of covers, and was still freezing my patootie off (and lemme tellya....that's a lot of freezing, because I have quite an ample patootie!). Anyhow, the next day I felt slightly better, but not by much, and then the rest of the week I felt better each day, but still haven't quite felt 100% since. So, I missed a whole week of exercise....no running, no swimming, no nada. I feel like a big slug, but I really don't think there's much I could've done about it...I just hope it doesn't take me too long to get back with it, because I had been doing so well up to that point. I actually felt good enough to run yesterday, and was hoping too, but I am trying now to finish my class up that was started back at the beginning of summer, that I got an extension on courtesy of Ike. It's all due this Friday, so it's crunch time now. I took my final the other day, and think I did pretty well on it. I wrote my final paper last night...all 10 pages of it, and I need to go back and make sure the stuff I wrote at 4 am actually makes sense. I was getting pretty droopy by that time! Now, I just have one more paper to finish up, and can't do that until I go to Houston Thursday night for a Young Lives club I will be writing about. I have half the paper written with the background info, now I just have to fill in the other stuff with my specific observations Thursday. Wow...I just looked back, and this is a seriuosly boring note! I usually think I'm a decently entertaining writer, but crapola....I'm just sorta droning on tonight! Maybe once I get my run on and get those endorphins on the move I can be witty and fun again! But for now.....I'm settin the alarm, I have my clothes and my shoes out for in the morning, and I'm about to head to sleep...hopefully I will (in a fun way) post soon about another awesome run!

I feel good!

Wowza! Okay, I know this is no biggie...and today's run used to be like, my normal everyday thing, like back in the day...but for a fat girl getting back into running, today was a great day! It has been a gorgeos day in Lake Jackson today...sunny, breezy, blue skies, and I'd say our high was probably in the 50s, maybe low 60s...yep, pretty much perfect weather! Well, I did some house cleaning and hanging out having fun with my kids--painting the boxes our new car seats came in (the ones that are being replaced since the wreck) out on the driveway to look like racecars, that sort of thing...and really just enjoyed the day. It took me awhile to have the chance to get out there and run, but I was so glad I did!Back when I ran before, I had, what I had measued at the time, to be a little 4-mile route I'd do regularly. It's been literally years since I've run this route, but I used to do it nearly daily. Here lately, I've only been getting in between 2 and 3 miles in the mornings, due to time constraints, so this was a nice little "long run" for me at this stage in the game. So, a few minutes after 5, I finally set out and I start out thinking this might be sorta tough. I run a little after I warm up, and then I have to walk pretty soon. Then I run a little more, and walk a little more. Then, I'm out about a half mile, and there are these 2 kids up ahead of me walking...Do you know what I'm talking about? They are just far enough ahead of me that I won't catch up to them walking, probably, but might catch up to them running, and I didn't want to pass them, only to have to start walking right away after that...so, I was like "do I walk or run?" and then, I determined it was not going to be up to 2 junior high kids if I got my running in or not, so I decided to start running. It also didn't hurt that "Friends in Low Places " came on the ipod...how can you walk through that song? So, I think to myself, if I can run to up to the next street and down it to the next (about a mile or mile-and-a-half or so), yay for me....well, halfway down that street, I so wanted to walk. Well, I had a little self-attitude check, and it was like ...Okay, I'm not hurting anywhere and I'm breathing okay, so I'll keep going. And I did make to to the next street, which was about 2.2 miles from home, a little over a mile from where I started running. Not too bad. So, I walk down it for I think 1 song, then Bryan Adams comes on, and I start to run again......so I'm running and I think, If I can run to the next street, which brings me back to my neighborhood, I'm good...I can do that, surely. Well, here's where it gets fun. Some Chris Rice song came on, and I'm keepin' on, and I get to the street I was aiming for. Still feeling good, I decide to keep going. My Sacrifice by Creed comes on...okay, there is NO STINKIN WAY to NOT run to pretty much any song by Creed, so I think, maybe I can make it to the next cross street...and I do, and then THE HAPPY SONG comes on!!! Like ANYONE can even stinking THINK of not running to that! So I kept going, thinking can I make t to the next cross street? Can I ? Well, I did, and then wouldn't ya know...the EAGLES come on...don't remember which song, but heck..it's the Eagles! So, I run and promise myself I will start to walk at the next landmark near to home. And I do...and I am feeling sooooo good! I walked around the corner into our neighborhood, and as per my usual, I sprint the last block to my house...don't know why, but I feel the need to go as fast as my short, fat legs will take me that last little bit..which is..oh, about 8 minute/mile pace--I think that's a leisurely stroll for some of my friends but for me, it's really truckin! So, I get home and my ipod (calibrated ipod, that is!) tells me I ran 4.55 miles at an average of pace of 14:38/mile, which included my walking and stretch breaks and stuff...not too bad! Not too bad at all! I have always said too...someday when I lose this weight, when people want my advice, I will tell them to GET AN IPOD! That music really kept me going tonight!I know its probably not a big deal, but I feel like I can say "I run" again! I have a long way to go, but to be able to keep going as long as I did tonight is a huge accomplishment for me! I am so grateful! The weather was awesome too...so...wooohoooo....yay me!!!Guess I beter get to working on confirmation lessons again...I think I will sleep good tonight--and not probably be ready to get up when I need to! And.....I EARNED my shower tonight...I just love that!

On rain, swimming, discouragement, and what good a workout can do!

Well...I guess since I mentioned every possible topic in the title to this post, I should make sure I cover all the bases! Rain! It's been raining a lot lately...mostly in the morning...at oh, like 5:00 am, when I am supposed to be up running. I say a lot...like, the past 2 days really, I guess. Now I don't mind a little rain, mind you, but I just don't think I'm hardcore enough to be out in an out-and-out downpour yet! I can remember running in some pretty decent rain back in the day, but I just didn't want to be out in such a huge downpour as these have been....so, when I hear the rain falling, I"ve been turning off the alarm and just sleeping in a little while and enjoying the sound of the rain, which is so nice! I do want to get back to the running...I really do....but, I will say I have enjoyed the little break (and will be praying for more rain tomorrow, probably!) It does sorta make me feel like a weenie though, when it gets to be like 10 am and its bright sunny outside! "Really, it was raining at 5...I promise!"
And I guess that brings me to the next thing....swimming! I have really been enjoying my pool time! One day I did 17 laps, I think 15 another day, and tonight I did 16. Those are like back-and-forth being one lap...so, like 32 lengths, if you were to count it that way...I will say...If I could use a kickboard in the triathlon, I think I'd so have it made! I will usually do a few laps with the kickboard to warm up and cool down and man, I can boogie on that thing! I could go for stinkin' ever with the kickboard! But alas, I think I probably have to be all on my own power for the tri! So, I've been swimming....breaststroke, backstroke, and crawl and alternating between them all. I'd like to work up to doing more crawl, but man oh man...that one wears me out! I'm getting a little stronger at it, but its still tough! I really am enjoying the swimming though, for something different. It feels really good, and I do feel like I've really done something when I get back.
The discouragement, is thankfully abating a little bit, but I had a few dumpy days there, which have weighed me down a bit. I had a meeting that, in my opinion, was a little rough the other night and that was discouraging.....things at home seem to have been discouraging for awhile--the ridiculous mess and housework that piles up being only a part of the problem--a significant part, no doubt, but yea...I don't blog about that. I'm not done with my class yet, which is hanging over my head, the bank account is overdrawn til I get my paycheck tomorrow, and geesh! I was just feeling a little hammered on there for a few days. I know the Lord won't give me more than I can handle, but crap...why does he have to think I'm so stinkin' strong! He is faithful, and I know and hang on to that. And I am thankful He has given me a body...albeit a short, fat, very unattractive body (and that's not His fault...he gave me a good gift, I just happened to have screwed the gift up over the years!)...that can, despite its weaknesses...still run, still swim, and still be challenged! What a gift it is to be able to go to Him in prayer, but also to know its a gift from Him as well, to be able to sweat out frustrations as well....I was feeling much more encouraged after all that.

Here's to hoping we all continue to feel encouraged!!!!

So far, so good...and yes, as a matter of fact, I HAVE lost my mind!

So, the running is going well. I went Monday morning early and this morning early. Tuesday I couldn't go because I worked until 6 am Tuesday morning and Craig had to leave as soon as I got home, so no run for me that day...I was pretty much comatose most of the day anyway, from the night shift. The election really made for a crappy end of the day too...so yea...yay for Tuesday being over! Anyhow, I feel like I am getting stronger on the running now. I mean, I will probably never be fast or anything, but just to be able to keep on going is such a wonderful feeling. My Nike ipod thingy tells me I am averaging around 13 minutes/mile, which isn't too bad, wtih the walking averaged in, I guess. Yes, I am a turtle, but I'm totally fine with that! That ipod is really helpful too...and I have such a crazy mix of stuff on it! Jars of Clay and Relient K are some of my better get going selections, and anything by Bowling for Soup gets me to kick into high gear too. Bryan Adams old stuff and Bon Jovi isn't too bad either! Throw in a little Rich Mullins, Patsy Cline, Larry Gatlin, and Point of Grace (yes, I am cheesy!) and you've got yourself a cooldown! Sometimes, I do this "run a song, walk a song" thing to time out my breaks, and let me just say....the Lynard Skynard extended dance mix of Freebird makes for a pretty long run for this outta shape momma! That one isn't for the faint of heart! So, the losing my mind part....yes, its fun! Okay, the story goes, I have done a marathon before when I ran, and would love to do one again sometime, though I'm not anywhere close yet. Something else, a little goal (well, not such a little one!) or dream is maybe a better word for it, that I'd like to do and have always wanted to do is a triathlon. I have crazy fiend athlete friends that do them, and wow! I am in awe. Not long ago, I ran across a dear old friend from high school and college that is not only a dentist, but also a professional triathlete now as well...like, big time! Anyhow....the last opportunity I had to think about it, I weenied out. I know I could do the running and the biking part--yes, slowly, I admit, and probably not terribly gracefully--but given enough time, I COULD get myself from point a to point b on foot or on a bike. But the swimming...that scares the crud out of me! I swim, yes...but not like THAT! Well, this weekend, I hear about this triathlon at Moody Gardens in April, so I googled it and found it. They have the longer ones on Sunday, but Saturday is the Sprint one, which is the short course....swim 0.3 miles (I think), bike 12-something, and run a 5K (3.1 miles). It would be quite a challenge, but I like the idea of it because:--It IS a challenge...and I thrive with a concrete goal to work toward.--It would push me to work really hard..and I love that!--I think the distance is doable...--It's in April..so I have like 5 months to train.--It's in Galveston, so I wouldn't have to travel, which would make it cheaper and easier.--It's on a Saturday, so I wouldn't miss church for it.So.....I SIGNED UP!!!! Paid my money, I'm committed, baby! So.....I went and swam tonight....and man, do I stink at it!! When I was a kid, I swam like a fish..not so much now! WEll, maybe a dying fish, or one with a hook in its mouth or something! Yea....that's gonna take A LOT of work! But I'm committed, so there's no turning back now. And crappy swimmer or not, I feel really really good right now! I'm loving this! Brain or no brain, I'm in!!

Yes, I'd be a slug

Well, the past 2 days I've been a slug, and felt the need to fess up about it--for myself, even if no one else reads this! Yesterday, Craig had to get his grades in at school by like 8 am and hadn't done it yet, so he left the house early, early to go to school, which would have put me leaving home to run at like 4 am. That was waaaayyyyy too early...5 I can do, but getting up in the 4's is just sort of ridiculous! So, I was going to go later on in the day...first while the kids were in preschool, if I got enough work done at the office. Well, we had a staff meeting that ran a little longer than we thought it might, so I didn't get as much done by 1pm as I had hoped, and so I kept working til it was time to pick up the kids at 2. So then, I was going to go after I took them for a little special date at Chick-Fil-A last night, but it didn't happen because the childcare at the gym closes at 8pm, and it was like 10 after 7 by the time we finished eating...and of course, at Chick-Fil-A, you can't leave until you've got to climb around all over the playground thingy and sit in the little airplane up there for-e-ver! Then, when I got home, I cleaned house for a bit, just mostly doing clutter control, and then I needed to work some more getting ready for Sunday. It is our pastor's annual trip to Colorado, which means I get to preach. I absolutely LOVE getting to do it. Pretty much whenever he goes away, I get to fill in, although he doesn't go away very much. It is really something I love to do, but it requires a commodity that is in short supply in my life right now to get ready---nice, quiet, uninterrupted time! So, last night after kids were in bed, after I got the house de-cluttered enough that I didn't want to strangle someone (I'm showin the love, huh), I worked on my sermon. Tomorrow we have a big fun deal at church for the kids, and then my 5th-8th graders are having a little party-type get together, so there won't be a lot of time on Friday. And Saturday, I will have to leave to work at the hospital about the time everyone is laying down for their naps, after lunchtime. I work til 10:30 Saturday night, which isn't late, but it does limit the time I have to work on all this Saturday....so, I am trying to be pretty much ready to go by the time I go to bed tonight....which, may mean not getting out early in the morning (which may very well translate to no exercise that day). I am hoping not, but I do need to make sure I am ready for Sunday. If I don't make it out, I WILL be out there come Monday morning, for sure, and back at the consistency. I really am missing the early runs right now, and that's a good thing....I'm not really enjoying the sleeping in til 7-something--which surprises me in a wonderful way! I am just trying to get my 6 or 7 hours of sleep in, which is another commitment I am making for the sake of my health--these 2 to 4-hour nights of sleep I've done for years have been part of my undoing for weight, I'm sure. So, all things work together for good.....

Okay, there! I fessed up! And yes, it feels better to get it out of my head and somewhere I can look at it and see it makes sense to do what I am doing. There is a lot of empty space up in my head for all these thoughts to rattle around in....its nice to have them nailed down on a blog! Later, taters....love, the the Slug....aka, Stacy!

Forward Motion

Well, I didn't know if I would make it out the door today or not, but I did it, and I am so glad. I had to work the evening shift at the lab last night, which meant I was supposed to get off at 10:30. I was working blood bank and microbiology last night, which was amazingly quiet. I think I crossmatched blood on only a couple of folks, did a cord blood, and only set up a handful of cultures....which means I should have been able to get home on time, possibly even early. I was hoping for the early thing, because I was sleeeeeepy after having been up since early! On MWF I work at my office at church in the mornings too, while the kids are in school, so it wasn't really just a leisurely morning either--suffice it to say, I was ready for sleeping! Well, there is this little (or actually not so little) training deal we all have to do in the lab that I should've gotten done a while ago, but because I am not there all the time and because when I am there, I am often by myself (working nights), I hadn't completed it yet. It's one of those computer thingys with a powerpoint type training session and it tests you and you have to pass and all that stuff....and can I just say, all of those type things put me to sleep like crazy! I mean, I would so rather stick icepicks under my toenails than have to sit through one of those things! So, I am making my way thorugh this awful thing (it was on packing dangerous goods, and transporting them, and "class A, UN number 2833 under IATA code 3423.32.38 and use packing instruction 402" type stuff for---oh, like every dangerous good known to man--and how to pack it for an airplane and----aaaaarrrrggghhhh!!!! Seriously, can I poke a finger through my eye now????--all ELEVEN CHAPTERS of it!!! So, I am close to finishing it and it's time to go home--but I am not quite finished. As tired as I was, I KNEW good and well I DID NOT want to sit down and finish this stupid thing later (or do it ever again!) so, I stayed to finish it up and it took me until 11:30! So much for going to bed early! And of course, once I get home, I can't go straight to bed--gotta have a little wind down time--usually on facebook, reading the paper online, etc. (I really needed to clean the dirty kitchen that was left for me, but that's another story I won't get into! Needless to say...I need to do some housework today!)Anyhow....I'm in bed at around 1 am, thinking there is no way I will be getting up at 4:45 to run, and I probably should allow myself some grace because of having to endure that stupid SAFTPAK training for so long. Well, my alarm went off at 4:45, and the snooze alarm and I had a little fight---and though the fight went for a couple of rounds, I WON, I WON! Yep, I was out of bed at 5:05 or so, and after stumbling around on my sore feet and trying to find my socks, I was out the door at 5:30...woohoo! It seemed sort of appropriate that the first song to come up on my ipod was "Forward Motion" by Relient K--and how I have trouble with forward motion! Some Linda Rondstat (when will I be loved), Chris Tomlin, Jars of Clay, Garth Brooks, and Bowling for Soup later, I had gone about 2-1/2 miles, according to my newly-again-functional Nike+ipod thingymadoo. I had to get a new sensor for it (I got it for my birthday last year) and I havne't calibrated it yet, but out of the box, it is pretty close to being accurate for most people, statistically. I was able to run the whole way around my neighborhood's "big block" without a walk break, which is about a mile, for the first time since I've been back at it....a mile isn't terribly far, but for me right now, that was quite a milestone! I think the cold weather is helping a lot too....I have always LOVED to run when its cold! With the walk breaks, I averaged about 12-1/2 minutes per mile, which for me, is pretty darn good right now! (I was never fast....even 3 kids, 100 pounds, and 8 years ago!) If I can move one foot in front of the other faster than I walk, that's a run for me, baby---no matter what the speed! So...after the shower that felt soooo good--because I was cold from the weather, hot from the run, and because I EARNED it--I was updating my prayer list, reading, and enjoying the quiet of the morning, just me and Jesus, hangin out. I love those times--while they last, that is! Barrett and Silas were bounding down the stairs pretty soon...yes, like, buttcrack of dawn soon! Anyhow, I took the opportunity to snuggle up with them on the couch while they watched their "mornin shows" as they call them, and the next thing I knew, I opened my eyes, and it was daylight, and we were all the way to Tigger and Pooh on Playhouse Disney! So much for staying up with no naps...but but its worth it! After all, I felt great from my run, and Barrett and Silas will only be 4 for a little while...speaking of which, Miss Gabriella, who will only be 2 for a little while is up now, so I better go give her some equal opportunity! She who is at 0.97 percentile on the weight scale....she didn't inherit that from me!!!! Maybe I need to get her to teach me a thing or two--she never stops moving! I think that's why she's so tiny!Thanks soooooooo much for the encouragement too!!! It helps a lot--because I know I don't want to post a status update that says "Stacy is a lazy slug who didn't get out of bed to run!" Yep, accountability works!

Four days down makes my first week back!

Well, I made it out the door early Wed, Thurs, and Friday, and got out this afternoon for 4 days out walking/running/shuffling my feet/yada yada yada....so, that's my first week back at the "I wanna be a runner" quest. I am so happy I am getting back out there. I already feel better and just the consistency and the routine are things are thrive with....I'm loving it!
Today, since nobody had to go into work or anything, I decided to sleep a little later...well...slightly later. The boys came and woke me up at 6:15 wanting to see their "mornin' shows"...ie, The Wiggles, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Tigger and Pooh and the morning Playhouse Disney lineup. 6 stinking 15! I don't know where they get this up at the buttcrack of dawn trait, but if it keeps up, it will serve them well, I'm sure! Oh, how I wish it came as naturally to me to get up so stinkin early!
Anyhow, the new LJ firestation was having an open house, so we went over there this morning and sat in firetrucks and ambulances and looked around at everything for awhile, and then came my trip to PetSmart to the SPCA setup. We fell in love with this precious pup named Pickles, who is going to be a great family-type dog, I"m pretty sure. We used to have dauchsunds, and due to their digging out of our yard as well as their propensity to not be so great with kids, they are in a new home now. I have been wanting to find a good family dog, because the kids, especially Gabriella are just dog crazy. So, we found Pickles today. An intense conversation with dad, several papers, and about an hour later, our adoption was sealed. She has to be spayed before we could bring her home, so we'll be getting her on Wednesday. (yes, that has nothing to do with running, but it was a big event of today, nevertheless!) The kids are soooooo excited for her, and I'm looking forward to seeing them bond. She really is sweet.
So...back to the running! It was a gorgeous, gorgeous day today, and I was going to go on my run while the kids were napping, but didn't make it out there before the boys woke up. They have been getting a little rambunctious on me, and are starting to really test their limits some more (ie, look at me and laugh when I tell them no and whine, whine, whine about stuff!) so, I think a good outing should do them some good. They got bikes last year for Christmas--with training wheels--and are pretty good on them, so I strapped on their helmets and put on my shoes, and we went out for a bike ride for them and a run/walk/traffic officer time for me. When they go fast, it pushes me on the running, which is great...when they don't go fast, well...it's either a nice brisk walk, or a leisurely stroll, just depending on how far we've gone so far! I got a little of all of the above in today. We went down the cool sidewalk-that-looks-like-a-road off the side of Oyster Creek Drive, and they were having big fun on that, and started to recognize we were getting near the neighborhood of church. They really, really wanted to ride "all the way down to church, Momma!" so we went on down. I guess church is probably between 1-1/2 and 2 miles away, so we probably ended up doing a total of between 3 and 4 miles. They loved it, especially on the way there. They were getting a little tired on the way home, but they were troopers and did really well. We've ridden that far several times before, but it's been awhile. I did a lot of walking on the way back, but I figure at least I was still out there. I mean, it wasn't like a heart-pounding workout, but it was so much fun to listen to them talk and chatter away and see them riding there beside and around me. It was a lot of fun, and I'm hoping we get out to do it again soon.
They were pretty pooped by the time we got home, and Gabriella had been awake from her nap for awhile. Craig said when he got her up she got all sad because her "boys" weren't there.....but, she got over it and was very happy to see them when we got home.
The early runs have been so great this week....I've really enjoyed them, and the nice quiet time built in after I get home before the kiddos wake up. It's really been a blessing, and I so hope I can keep it up. The one thing I don't like about getting out at the buttcrack of dawn is how dark it is then. That is a little creepy...but I honestly don't know what self-respecting perpetrator would mess with me! I'm careful and all, but truly...who is going to want to jump an ugly fat woman with this much gray hair and an empty bank account wearing my tacky totally uncoordinated painting shorts with splatters all over them?? The good thing is, is that there seem to be quite a few people out walking and stuff at that time of the day..and that the time change is next week! I usually hate this time change, because I love the longer days, but I am thinking I"ll like it for the early morning-stuff. It'll be nice to have a little earlier daylight.
My eating isn't quite where it ought to be yet, but its moving in the right direction. I'm being a lot better than I had been, but not quite as good as I need to be on it. For me, it seems the healthy eating always follows the exercise...never the other way around. So, I'm trying to get that where it oughta be too.
I'm making my goal to be out running/walking/moving at least Monday through Friday mornings early. I am hoping to also get in a Saturday workout too. There has to be at least a day off a week, to give the body some recovery time, so that'll probably be on Sunday. When you are on staff at church, Sundays are pretty much work days--I seem to go morning til night on Sundays between church and my responsibilities there, teaching confirmation, and then leading a small group for youth and having high school youth Sunday evenings. Next Sunday I am preaching, so I'll REALLY be on the go then! (I just love it when I get to preach..but it does take a lot out of you, to preach 2 services...it's so fun though!) Anyhow, if I can do the Monday through Friday or Saturday thing, I think I will feel pretty consistent and like I am making progress. It wouldn't hurt to move down the line in my closet too....I have my super-ultra-fat-clothes (the ones I am in now!), my super-fat-clothes (a little smaller, worn during the first part of my twin pregnancy and some of my single-baby pregnancy), my fat clothes (which I wore before having kids for a few years), my sorta bigger clothes (from when I used to think I was fat--but that I"d love to be down to now!), and my normal person clothes, which are the goal!!! I'd so love to be in the normal-size-person clothes and toss those other ones OUT! (of course, I'd give them to Salvation Army or something...but I'd love to first toss them in a trash can, sorta like they do on what not to wear!)
Anyhow....so, 4 days down. Not a bad first week....not too bad at all, I think! Thanks again for all the encouragement! Accountability is a good thing!

New shoes, one day down, and wooohooo!!

Well, as a followup to my last marathon (no pun intended!) note, I thought I'd catch up. First of all...thank you so much for all of the feedback and encouragement! I truly am blessed with some amazing peeps! I am so grateful for my friends...old friends that go all the way back to Marble Falls, and new ones in Lake Jackson--ya'll are such gifts, and I appreciate you each one!So....I haven't had a new pair of running shoes since 2003, when I ran the San Diego Rock n' Roll marathon (and pre-kids). I think the last pair I got I used to train in for awhile and run the marathon itself in, and they have been used off and on since then on the rare occasions I actually made it out the door in the past 4 years! So, I decided it was time to invest in another pair of shoes. After all, these are the only legs I have, and they are carrying a whole lotta me on them! Back in the day, I went to Fleet Feet in Rice Village in Houston and learned I needed motion control shoes, and I ran in Saucony Grid Stabils for awhile and then discoved the Brooks Ariel, which is one beast of a shoe! (in fact, the man-version of it was called the "Beast"...don't know if it still is or not, but that is the lineage of the shoe...the Beast!). My Ariel's served me well, but since it had been so long ago that I'd had my gait looked at, I decided a trip to the Running Shoe store was in order, rather than just ordering willy nilly online (which probably would've saved a little money...but I needed the service this time). There is a great...I think fairly new...store in Pearland (and one in Clear Lake) called "On the Run" and that is where we went...by we, I mean myself, and my 3 sidekicks, who happen to be aged 4, 4, and 2. I had seen the Pearland store before, but couldn't remember exactly where it was, because Pearland is like...crazy built up these days! I remember way back in the day when Pearland was just podunkville out in the country south of Houston...no buddy, not anymore! It's a stinkin shopper paradise now! It pretty much runs into Houston and its hard to tell where one stops and the other begins. In the last 10 years since I've lived here, it's exploded like a seagull eatin' rice! Anyhow, we drove the about 40 minutes up to Pearland, and then drove around every little storefront place that looked like where I remembered seeing the store for about as long trying to find it! Finally, my synaptic misfire got straightened otu and I remembered where it was and we made it there. Of course, my sidekicks were MORE than happy to be out of the van by this time! So, I go in, walk around and try on lots of shoes....Sauconys, Mizunos, Addidas, Asics, not sure what all else, and then the Ariel...yep...they are still the one, baby! They felt so good on my feet, and I knew they would help motivate me to get to bed last night and up and at em in the morning. And I have to remember its an investment, because it takes me about a half shift of med teching to earn the 100 or so bucks to buy them....It's hard to spend the money, but I'd rather spend it on shoes to get me running and take care of my body than to spend it later on medical bills because I'm a big fat unhealthy slug. Anyhow....so I get my Ariel's and I'm so excited! Of course, by this time I had to reassmeble a few things at the store due to my kiddos and deal with the carnage, but overall it was a successful trip. And the kids were excited to eat at Chick-Fil-A while we were out and about. So......last night, I was actually ready to sleep at 10:30ish, which is amazingly early for me! My alarm went off at 4:45 this morning, and I snoozed only once to get me to 4:50, and I was up and at em! Brushed my teeth, got dressed, got the shoes on, and I was out the door....whoohoo! It felt great! And though I'm not breakin any speed records, I was able to run a little more than I was the other day..probably mostly due to the shoe situation. It felt so good...I was a sweaty mess when I got home, and it RAWKED! Of course, I was getting a little stressed about 5:50 or so when I realized it would be shortly after 6 that I got home. Craig was waiting on the driveway, but he was nice to me, so that was a nice surprise...I thought for sure I'd be in trouble for being late. (it was a fw minutes after 6 I got home). So, he left for work, I got to take a shower I felt like I actually "earned" and had about an hour before the kids woke up to spend time with my Lord....does it get better than that? Naw....not really, at least not for now. I'll take it....it's been a good day!Anyhow....lets see if I can do it again. Get to bed early, get up early, butt out of bed, go Stacy go...one foot in front of the other....repeat! We shall see!! I think I can, I think I can!!!

Can I do it???

Okay....I have to admit it: I am crazy jealous (in a good way...not in a vicious evil sort of way!) of all my runner and athletic friends...skinny ones too, of course! I am jealous in an "I-am-inspired-and-encouraged-to-do-better" sort of a way, and I want to challenge myself.I had never been terribly athletic growing up. I mean, I played softball as a kid on a league and did pretty well and had fun with it, and I lived to jump rope and run around and ride my bike and that sort of a thing, but I was never like the super athlete, play on a team, crazy granola girl type. And I used to remark that the only time I'd run was when being chased...which was pretty much..uh...never...so, that was that for the whole running thing.Until later...like, oh, bout 1995ish or so. I was in medical technology school at Methodist Hospital in Houston, and my lab coat was rather...um...well, it was getting tough to button! You know when your scrubs start to stretch across your bootay, things are a little out of control! Too many Double Dave's pizza rolls at A&M, too long of having an apartment next to Shipley donuts in college, and too much studying and eating until all hours of the night in med tech school were catching up...not to mention that at the ripe old age of ...what was it then, like 22 or 23...my metabolism was at the slowest rate I'd seen to date. and thus, the weight wars began!!I started running when I was in med tech school, living in the medical center in Favrot Hell...um, Hall that is. There was a little workout room in the basement and I'd trek down the 11 floors down to there and walk on the treadmill, and then started running. I distinctly remember that was when I learned the lesson to not close your eyes on a treadmill, as I was "relaxing" (or some such attempt) and ended up on the floor behind the treadmill, which I'm sure was quite a sight! I worked myself up to being able to run a mile and a half on the treadmill and thought I was like a crazy running machine! For a fat girl who had never gone more than like 2 feet, that was pretty good! Then, my friend Scott Gogulski who lived down the hall from me, and about my only English-speaking friend in the dorm, who was an Aggie to boot, took me to Memorial Park to try to run there. I thought Scott was sorta cute too, which helped...and between that motivation and just being out in the fresh air with the wind on my face, I managed to run my first 3 miles without stopping to walk. I REALLY felt like a running machine then! I continued to run the rest of med tech school and then when I moved to Brenham, I ran some there as well, but never quite as regularly as I did during that year in Houston, when I'd go out pretty much every day after class and run the perimeter of Rice. Which, incidentally, was another place I landed flat on my face, after tripping on a big tree root at the corner of Greenbriar and University, I think it was. Of course, it was on a baseball game day with lots of traffic that saw me too....lovely! Yes, I am graceful!So, I ran off and on in my years in Brenham, and took it up pretty steadily to lose weight for my wedding in 1998. As in the past, the running began as a quest to lose weight, but ended up being something I did just because it felt so good and I enjoyed it so much. I took a little hiatus when I moved to Lake Jackson, adjusting to being married and new job, and all the changes in my life, and then took it back up again, of course to lose weight, which I did, but of course just started to enjoy it again. Feeling like a machine again, I decided I wanted to do a marathon. It would give me a goal to work toward and I just wanted to do it..sounded like fun!So, I trained and worked hard and was signed up for Austin, when my husband lost his job and our world fell apart for a little while. Too many hours of work for me and trying to hold things together meant no trip to Austin, where I was expecting to run in about 5-1/2 hours. I was in decent shape then, and LOVED the whole running thing, was addicted! I got up to a 23-mile long run before the trip got derailed and I began to get fat again. yeech.So life levels out, everyone is gainfully employed again, and I begin to work for Young Life...which has a lot of beautiful and athletic people...and a lot of good food too! Not to mention the "hey, let me take you out for a milkshake" that I loved so much in contact work with kids. and I gain more weight.I still had the marathon bug and decided I wanted to for sure run one before I had kids.....fat me or no fat me! So, I sign up for the San Diego Rock and Roll marathon in 2003 and ran it and LOVED it. It took me 6-1/2 hours to do, but it was awesomely fun and I felt like I had accomplished so much by finishing it. I was then going to run the Disney marathon when we were in Florida in January of 2004, but found out I was pregnant right before we left on the trip....I decided not to run, seeing as how I had had pregnancy problems aplenty in the past, and it was totally worth it, of course.....little did I know, I was carrying not one but two babies, which turned out to be my Barrett and Silas, who are 4 now. (when did that happen....that so feels like yesterday!).So, fast forward (this is becoming quite a long note, huh...I guess I'm longwinded!) past 6 weeks of bedrest in the hospital having the boys in August of 2004, learning to be a parent with a litter of kids to start with, and then having Gabriella in September of 2006. Three babies in two years is hard on a body! It's really hard when you are trying to do so much by yourself and don't get out much, except to work. It's really tough on the body...hence, there aren't really any recent pictures of me up on here! A few years of stress eating and only getting to exercise every now and then has taken its toll, as most who know me up close and personal the last several years can probably see and attest to. So, here I am....I want to begin to get this body in some sort of working order again. I miss running and all the cool things that go with it! I know I'll never be fast, but it would be enough for me to feel that sense of accomplishment that comes when you hit your stride and it feels fun instead of painful! I love the sore you get after a good run....and feeling your blood pump...and also feeling like you are using the gift you have been given in this body to its fullest potential. The Lord, I believe, is honored when we take care of the Temple He's given us....and honestly, my Temple has looked abandoned for years now....like I'm thinking this Temple is in major disrepair....and it's time to do something about it!So, what is one to do when you are a mom to 3 kids under the age of 5 and pretty much the only time you are able to get out is when the kids are sleeping? How do you work 2 jobs and take care of a home, mostly on your own, and wear all the hats you have to wear to do it? Others do it....I haven't figured it out yet, but I'm ready to start trying something new...because what I'm trying for the last several years isn't working so well.I'm not an early-riser kind of a person....I may STAY UP til 4 am regularly, but rarely will I GET up at that time. But it seems to me, that many of the folks who juggle all these sorts of things do the get up early and get out there deal. Can I do it? I don't know...Craig leaves for work at 6 am now...If I can get this ample butt of mine out of bed and out the door by say 5, I could get in a decent run/walk/whatever it becomes and be home by 6 in time for him to leave. Can I do it? I don't know, but I want to try. So, why did I just put all this here? Well....it gives me some accountability, I suppose. If I can get to bed before say, 2 or 3 am, I bet I could do it. I bet I will feel better. I bet it will benefit me in more ways than I can list. I really, really want to try! I am just coming off of 3 night shifts now and working on maybe about 8 hours of sleep since last Thursday....so, its probably not going to start tomorrow. But, maybe, just maybe, it can start the next day. Big butt out of bed, big butt out the door....that's all it takes, and then one foot in front of the other. Can I do it? I don't know, but I'm going to try! All I can do is try!! I'll post back in a few days and keep my accountability going! Even if no one takes time to read this (and honestly, you probably have better things to spend your time on!) but, at least I put it out there for me to see...and to work toward...and to try. Can I do it??? I don't know, but I'm going to try.....we'll see!!!

Aaahhhh......ROUTINE!

How sweet it is! Routine, that is! We have been living in a topsy-turvey world for the last 2 weeks, since dear old Hurricane Ike came to visit us. Schools not open, unable to work, except at the hospital, and a crazy existence that has just felt plain weird.

Today, my husband went back to work at school, as they are open for students for the first time since the storm tomorrow. Yay!
Today, my kids went back to preschool, first time they have been open since the storm. Yay!
Today, I went back to work at church. First time we've had power since the storm. Yay!
Today, I got up a little early and spent time with the Lord for the first time in awhile....I have been sorely undisciplined to do so lately...at least first thing in the morning. It was sweet. There is nothing better than to sit at His feet to begin the day....and continue the day, of course, too. I got myself a new study to work on for awhile. It's a Beth Moore study called "Jesus"....big book with journaling and readings and stuff for each day. I am more used to following my own plan, whatever it may be at a given time, but right now, I am needing and craving the structure a study like that brings. As I said....routine is beautiful!

I never thought I'd be so about a routine. We always in this world seem to get so wrapped up into things being different or "changing up the motonony" and so forth.....well, we got a good dose of that here on the Texas coast, compliments of Ike. My area less so than many others, but he still packed a good enough wallop to change our status quo and to change it up a lot! It's sort of exciting for a few days....crazy as it sounds.....the evacuation, the battening everything down, the staying up all night to watch the storm on tv while you are away...sorta neat for an adrenaline junkie, such as myself. But then, when you return, its hard to not have that routine thing....no school, no stores, no gas, no work, no anything that seems like the life you left behind a few days before. We had power at least....much more than you can say for many others around our community, but still, life was definitely interrupted.

And now, here we are! I am convinced that we serve a God who is all about ORDER. We are made in His image, and whether we realize it or not, He created us with a sense of order that works so much better to function with than the chaos we are in...whether created by ourselves or by circumstances beyond our control. You don't realize the beauty of the order until its gone for a time. And then are so thankful for it to return!

I woke up feeling more hope today than I have in awhile....more optimism, more joy, and just a general feeling that "its going to be okay!" Lord, help me to hold onto this feeling, which I know is only from You! Help me to live in the order You have created, and to walk with You. It's gonna be okay....I just need to trust and obey...and it will be okay!

Think I'll head to the gym now.....gotta be some order to this body of mine, now!

Time to change

Okay...time to get a few things in order, so that I can feel better about things. I am still in a bit of a crappy funk, but I am determined to plow through and let the Lord work in me and through me.

There are a lot of things about my life I cannot change: the choices I have made that have brought me here, as well as the circumstances and person I might like to change. Those things are just givens and it isn't within my power to change them. I can pray and let go of the past and that sort of thing, but I can only be responsible for who I am, and the choices I make. So, I am going to commit afresh to making better choices and trying to get back into control the things I DO have control over!

So, here goes:
1. Exercise!!!!!! This is always a mood lifter as well as motivation for me to behave myself on eating. It's a much healthier stress release than is Blue Bell milk chocolate! I need to get back to the gym, get back to walking, and get back with it....consistently!
2. Eating better: Smaller portions, healthier stuff. I need to cut out the fried/high carby junk I have been living on lately....cut out the fast food. Cut out the monster portions. I need to eat like a human and not the ginormous elephant/whale I have become. Part of this is going to be painful---It pains me greatly, but I HAVE to give up chocolate. I don't know if it's forever or for a season, but me and chocolate go round and round and round...and it seems to win everytime! I gave it up for the 6 weeks of lent and made it. I should be able to make it longer than that, as long as I get it out of my system and stay away from it.
3. Staying off of this stinking computer....I don't waste time with TV, but I am really bad about the internet. I need to limit myself to like 5 minutes, unless I'm working on something specific. I also need to not be on during the day when my kids are awake, unless again, I am working on something that specifically needs working on.
4. Try to do the fly-lady cleaning stuff around here....baby steps to get this house in some sort of an order!
5. Quit negative talk....especially about a certain someone who drives me batty...instead, pray! (way more easier said than done!)
6. And last, but really, really not least...in fact, this should have been way at the top of the list: Draw near to the Lord and spend more consistent time with Him......When I seek Him first, the rest seems to work so much better.....amazing, isnt' it!

It's Monday now....so, time to hop to it! No better time than now! Lord, please help me!

The death of dreams

I know I should be pouring out my heart before the Lord instead of to all the people who don't read this blog, but in getting my feelings out here, I feel I am pouring out my heart to Him. Don't know if that counts or not, but I just need to get some things out. Not major, crazy, earth-shattering things, but things that hurt my heart, nevertheless.

I hate to be so negative lately....I really don't like what I've allowed my circumstances to do to me, in that I seem to be frustrated and depressed and all that sort of stuff lately, feeling like there is no way out of crappy circumstances. I know so much is in my attitude, and in my heart about things....and I am struggling to try and reclaim the joy I know is mine in Christ, and that is a gift I have always, ever since I can remember, enjoyed in abundance...until oh, maybe the last 10 or so years...it's been there, but only in fits and spurts the last 10 years. I am struggling with that fact.

The place we are in life is so much a function of the choices we make all along the way. Maybe not everything, but enough that at my age of 36, there are a lot of choices to look back on and either probably feel pretty darn good (which is not the case with me) or to feel extraordinarily crappy about where I am--primarily as a result of poor choices on my part. I don't think I'm a horrible person or anything...but I have really screwed up my life, and don't seem to have much to show for it, and that seems such a waste.

I can go back a long way...to when I took the easy way out way back in school and didn't take any more math than I had to...and my laziness ended up putting me behind once I got to college in some ways. I mean, I did the calculus and all that, but not easily, that's for sure! And try as I might when I got to Texas A&M, I struggled like crazy. I majored in Biomedical Science, and though I never made below a "C", I made lots, and lots of C's...enough that I didn't feel I had any hope of a chance at going to medical school or to PA school or something like that, that I had intended when I began. I settled for Medical Technology school....yes, it was at the best medical technology school around and it was a great choice for many, I'm sure, but ho-hum is about all I can say about it. I settled because there were no tuition and no fees and a stipend paid to all the students...and because I got in...like 8 students of 100 or so applicants who got in. This must be it, right? Well, I was excited and poured myself into school and did pretty well at it. I think I tried to even think I was all into at one time...but now, I can look back and know it was settling. Maybe a year after I began working in the field, though I enjoyed my job and that sort of thing, I was already looking at what else I could do....medical school? nursing school? graduate program of some sort? Yep....I was restless, and I had settled. What I truly loved was ministry--and had discovered youth ministry along the way. Now THAT was my passion. That was truly what I loved to do! I felt gifted for it, and I enjoyed it so much, that it didn't feel like work. What a deal. I wished many, many, times that I hadn't have settled for the "safe" career choice and that I'd have gone to seminary back then, after I got out of A&M. But, once you are on your own and supporting yourself and paying bills like a real grown up, well.....there goes a dream; another one bites the dust.

So....a few years go by, and I am getting quite restless with my state of singleness. I feel quite certain I will NEVER meet anyone who will love me...will never meet anyone who will want to spend their life with me. At the ripe old age of 25, I felt certain I was never to know what it meant to be loved, within the context of a marriage, that was. See, at 25, when like 2 or 3 friends call you with the wonderful news that they are engaged, it feels like it's 200 or 300 friends, and you start to truly feel a part of the minority...and very much alone. I had known what it was to love and to be loved once before...and really, honestly, it was a good thing it ended, because I'm sure I'd have been divorced LONG ago had it worked out! It probably truly wasn't meant to be.....but, that kind of love, that kind of being passionate about another person--that's not something you can conjure up because you feel like it. You might try and you might just fool yourself for awhile, but it's not going to go the long haul and keep you warm at night when you feel very much alone in the midst of a relationship. You can't sustain self-conjured up emotion for the distance....it just doesn't work, and try as you might, eventually, you end up drained and alone when you realize the death of another dream....a BIG dream....because of settling. Once again...my own choice, which has led me down a path I'd really rather not travel.

So, life goes on, and you DO have glimpses of joy...the things that make it seem all okay again--that let you know that the Lord can indeed redeem our choices. The smiles of precious little angels and their sweet, sweet laughter. Their little voices singing and their tiny arms around my neck...their sweet little wet kisses and what can melt my heart more than ANYTHING ever, ever could. Oh Lord, You ARE a redeemer....I KNOW that everytime I look into their faces. Everytime I hear their voices. You can and do redeem our poor choices. With dreams that have died have also come blessings that I could have never imagined...and I am grateful...really, I am!

And then, you think you have it together. You think things are coming together again, and the rug sorta gets pulled out from under you. I assumed too much. I thought I had it all together. I was working toward something, and I guess I have too much pride or something, because for some reason, I am supposed to be falling now....and its' hard. The death of a dream.

Honestly, I don't know where to turn right now. I feel very alone and well....like a failure. I've felt that more times in my life than I care to recount, but this time....well....it just hurts, that I've made choices...all of them, in my life, that have collectively brought me here. I'm sure I'll be okay. God is good and I know He loves me and will never leave me. I know He has a plan. Ultimately, I know it'll all be okay....but dangit.....I sure would love to have some of that abundant life in the here and now that Jesus talks about in John 10:10!

Finances....marriage....career...school...passions....oh the choices we have....and what choices we make can make the difference between the death of a dream and abundant life. Oh Lord....please, please help me not to screw this life up anymore than I already have....I so need You, and I want to walk where You lead me. I hold on to Your hope--I've really made a mess of this first 36 years...I pray I may make better choices, and see Your redemption in the next 36!

Ventings, ramblings, and a lot of prayer

I need to get some sleep, which would probably help me a lot, but I am really just sort of drained right now. My frustration level is high, my anxiety is way up too, and I have more dissapointment with the situation that I find myself in than I ever would have imagined.

I am crazy about my God, my kids, my friends, and my work--and those things are what hold it all together for me now....these are the motivation that compels me. I need so much to get some wisdom so I know what to do. I need to know how to please Him and what is best for my kids. It is more of a struggle than I think I even comprehend sometimes.

Lord, help me to be who you want me to be. Help me to come back to the joy You once filled me with, but that I have allowed my circumstances to steal from me. Help me to choose to look to You and to be filled with Your joy once again. I pray you'd provide, and I pray you'd love through me. Lord, I need You, and am more aware of it than ever.

Facebook can be fun, but humbling!

This is a copy of a note I put up on my facebook tonight:

Wow...I haven't been on this thing (facebook) for very long, and it seems we could have a virtual class reunion from my high school class on here! Not to mention several friends from my college years and beyond I've found too. It really is amazing how technology has made the world a smaller place. I continue to be amazed by that.I am so enjoying seeing what people are up to, seeing pictures of their families and where life's journey has taken everyone. It is so much fun to see where everyone is at and a little slice of what their life is like, through pictures and just seeing what they are up to. It is quite humbling though....especially when I see everyone from way back when! I am thinking I must be the only one who has aged in the last however-many-years its been. Everyone else looks so young and still so beautiful....not really any different than what I remember them, truthfully. Pretty amazing! And then I see my pictures from even 10 years ago. Whew! Have I ever aged....and expanded...and aged...and expanded! Humbling for sure, if not maybe even downright heartbreaking! I know Jesus loves me...and that's the thing that matters. Really, I do know that! It is still difficult to confront the years (and the pounds, and the debt, and the dissapointments, and the....well, yada yada yada) sometimes though. I love the Switchfoot song that goes "This is your life, are you who you wanna be...this is your life...is it everything you dreamed that it would be when the world was younger....and you had everything to lose...." Well....I hate the song and I love it all at the same time! I hate it because it reminds me that...well, quite frankly, there is a lot that isn't all I dreamed it would be. I try not to blog or otherwise publically complain about those issues, so I'll leave that at that. I love the song though, because it reminds me at the same time, to ask myself that question and to try to "press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me....forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead...I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." I am grateful, that when I am at my weakest, and at my lowest, that His strength is at work within me. I am also grateful that I can have hope in the face of some awfully humbling times. This is my life...am I who I wanna be??? Well, not really...but I am here, and I'm not alone, and I'm not done; by His grace, hopefully someday I will be who I want to be. For now though, I will rest in knowing I belong to the One who loves me more than I could ever imagine.

Light up frisbee!!!

Okay...I don't have a lot of time for much of a post...and I am in dire need of catching up on here....but can I just say: Throwing around a light up frisbee in the street in the dark is A LOT of fun!!!! Sorta makes you forget all the stuff that weighs you down, even if just for a little bit.

I highly recommend a light-up frisbee to throw around for anyone in need of stress relief...(or not!)

Yes, this is a random post....but I'm a little random at the moment!

It's been too long!

Wow! It's been way too long since I wrote! As evidenced by my lack of weight loss, I'm sure! I h aven't gained any back to speak of, but I have been holding right at steady for a little over a month now. I got off track with the eating...not like way off track, but enough to not be losing anymore. I have been staying fairly consistent with the exercise, which is probably what's helping me to hold steady. I really need to just kick it into gear and get started losing on the rest of this! I still have a good 70 pounds to go! Baby steps, I guess...baby steps!

Things have been challenging for me lately in a lot of ways, but I am trusting the Lord for His provision and guidance. Of course it seems I am always facing challenges on the homefront, which is still the case, but I'm doing the best I can to deal with that. Took my husband to the cardiopulmonary specialist today and they are going to get him set up for a sleep study soon, which should help a lot, getting him set up with a sleep apnea CPAP machine thingy...maybe with some air pushing up his brain he will get some energy and wake up some of those neurons in there. Yea, that'd be cool!

My kids are wonderful fun...I am so thankful for them. I love being their mom and my heart swells with love and gratitude with every little giggle and look from all those big, sparkly blue eyes. Mother's Day is this weekend...and I tend to get weepy anytime I think of the joy I have from my 3 precious little ones.

There is really far too much that has happened for me to remember it all, but one thing I did want to share was my latest read:



I don't know if my book picture worked here or not, but if it didn't--I just finished reading Me, Myself, and Bob by Phil Vischer, the creator of VeggieTales. I am a HUGE VeggieTales fan...have been ever since I began watching them with my kids about a year ago or so. They are so well done and so funny any grown-up can enjoy watching them, kids or sans-kids...really! The songs are catchy, the messages are great, and the characters are just...well...plain old cute! Before I started watching the Veggies for myself, I knew there must be some value to them, because the kids in my confirmation class seemed to recall even the most minute of details about pretty much any Bible story we would dive into. "So, how did you remember that?" I would ask, several times over again (especially when I didn't remember some of those details myself!) and the reply, over and over would be "VeggieTales, of course!" Yes, my confirmation kids had lots and lots of Bible knowledge, courtesy of the VeggieTales. That to me, said a lot.

I had heard a little of the rise and fall of Big Idea, the company Phil Vischer founded that was the home for the Veggies, and a while back found his blog. He detailed a lot of information about the history of the Veggies and that sort of thing, and then I saw he was coming out with a book that told the story. While I was at the local Christian bookstore the other day, Bob the tomato happened to catch my eye on the book cover, so I got the book and I could hardly put it down. It grabbed me from the very beginning with just how simply fun and funny Phil Vischer is. He's got a cool sense of humor that I connect with and to read about how he began in animation and his story, and then to see how the Veggies came into being was really, really just fun reading. He is very honest about his own shortcomings and the book doesn't mince any words about the downfall of the company. It really is refreshing to read.

When he gets to the demise of Big Idea, it is really sad in what it meant (the Veggies wouldn't be quite the same from that point on), and also in what it did to so many who poured their heart and soul into the ministry. They lost their jobs and their livelihood and also there was the death of a dream. Even through these dark periods though, the humor is there and the lessons become clear.

Toward the end of the story, Phil Vischer talks about so many of the things he learned in the whole process. The thing that stuck out to me more than anything and what it all boiled down to in the end, was that it is more important to follow the Lord...to seek Him for Him...than it is to follow our dreams, even if they are dreams for Him. The dreams are great and the things we do for His glory are great, make no mistake. But we miss the boat if that distracts us from seeking Him just for the sake of Him. What a lesson there is in that....I know that far too often, I am seeking after "stuff"...good stuff mind you, but it pales in comparison to the "incomparable riches" of simply knowing and dwelling in Him.

I hope and I pray that I will seek Him...simply for Him...today, and each day! It's a lot harder to do than it is to say, because I get so caught up in my little world...but He is so much bigger! I pray my all in all will be found in You alone, Lord!

The Gated Community

Hey there, everyone...(yea right...ummmm....like ME!),
Here I am....it's been a few days, but I just don't have terribly much time to blog. But, I thought I'd write a quick one now before I go to bed.

Yesterday I had the opportunity to go to Houston to a really cool event; hence, the title "The Gated Community" because it happened to be in one of them! I chuckle myself everytime I say/write/think that, because there is a really funny little Veggie Tales Silly Song called "The Gated Community" (on the "Do the Moo-Shoo" DVD, for any Veggie fans!) and it cracks me up. Larry the Cucumber is a little boy with a ball that lands in a tree, and when his ball falls out of the tree, it lands in "The Gated Community" where it is "free of debris" and the little wealthy-golf-playing Veggies live in their "Gated Unity." It's just funny! The Veggies in the gated community are all dressed up in golf gear and have their little (as a friend of mine put it the other day) "horseshoe head" baldness with the hair on the sides and the back and they are just too, too funny....while Little Larry the Cucumber sits and wants his ball. Anyhow....enough diversion for now:

The event I got to go to was "An Evening with Dr. Chap Clark" who is a professor of Youth, Family, and Culture at Fuller Seminary, which is where I am working (very, very slowly mind you...but still working nontheless) on my Masters. It was at the Royal Oaks Country Club in Houston...like really--RIGHT IN Houston. It was a pretty fancy schmancy affair with beautiful food and tables and lots of people dressed up pretty cool and just a super nice place this was. Of course, I had lots of trouble finding just the right gate to actually get into the gated community, but once I finally found it, was quite impressed with the inside. It was truly cool. I saw a sign on the way in that said homes were from the 400,000's to over 3-million...which for our real estate market, is super pricey!! Anyhow, I met some really very, very nice people--some who actually live in the Gated Community! And though I felt very out of my element, it was still a really neat thing to go to. It wasn't what I thought it would be--a night about understanding the kids I minister to more; it was more of a rah-rah event for Fuller in Houston, but that's okay....it was exciting to feel like you are a part of something like that, so it was all good. Dr. Clark talked about John 4 and the Woman at the Well. He talked about how Jesus honored the woman...somehow, he honored her enough that she was willing to tell everyone all about him. It was a familiar passage, but he brought out some things I really hadn't thought about before, which is always refreshing...and as out of sorts as I was in that beautiful room with all the beautiful people and all--it is Christ Who died for each of us, and that lives for and within each of us. Thanks be to God for loving us, no matter who we are, and making us all the recipients of the greatest inheritance ever! What a cool thing! He honors us...and what a challenge that we would honor others in order to bring them to know Him.

In other news....well, there's lots of other stuff, but since I have to work at 6 am, I'll keep it brief. The weight is holding steady. Of course, that could have something to do with my insatiability for chocolate right now! Don't know what the deal is, and I haven't gone crazy, but I do need to reign myself in a bit. I did a pilates class at the gym today. That was cool...well, sort of! It's really not for fat people, I've decided! The instructor kept talking about "imagine you have a beach ball" like right in your belly area....ummm, excuse me....I don't have to imagine! There's a whole lot of me right there in the way of trying to do those crazy contortions she had us doing! I have to giggle when I do some of that stuff at how ridiculous this fat girl looks doing them! But, the instructor came up and talked to me some after the class and told me how impressed she was with how strong I am, because I was able to do a lot of stuff that people aren't normally able to do at their first class. That made me feel good. After that, I did 20 minutes on the elliptical, so it was a good workout day.

I work tomorrow the day shift and then I need to work on my sermon for next Sunday the 20th. I'm excited to get to preach....challenged, but that's part of the excitement. I better get some sleep now. Just wanted to catch up some! Gonna lay down my head in my non-gated community home now! Heehee!

Super Silly since '72!

Well, here I am, writing my birthday blog...albeit a few days late! On Saturday, March 29, I turned 36 years old. That sounds so different than 35 did, but not too awfully daunting, I guess. I have been meaning to write for a few days, as birthdays are a good time to sort of take inventory and to ask yourself, in the words of Switchfoot: "This is your life...are you who you want to be?" Hmmm....well, I don't know exactly how to answer that. I think maybe I am closer than I was a few months ago, but still worlds away from where I'd like to be, in so many ways. I am so glad I am working on getting healthier. I have had a hard time staying "good" with my eating, especially with my birthday and also with Lent being over...(ie, chocolate!) But, I am still slowly working my way down on the scale. I haven't really gained, so that's a plus. I am still hovering between like 217 and 222, around a 27-ish pound weight loss since the first of the year. I would much love to be farther along, but you have to live too, so at least I am still pretty much making forward progress....however slow it may be!

I am happy to be making progress financially...we have worked really hard and have made great progress in paying off and down debt...though we still have a heck of a long way to go...it feels good to be making progress.

I feel like I have the most wonderful kids in the world, and a girl couldn't ask for better friends--or job(s) for that matter! (especially the church job, but there are some pretty wonderful friends at the lab, so I can't dismiss that one out of hand!)

Marriage...eeeehhhh....lets not get into that one. Definitely one area where I'd check "need for improvement." Sleep? That one could be better too...I haven't been sleeping nearly enough lately, and I can tell.

My walk with Christ...I hunger and thirst for that to be more disciplined. Praise God for His faithfulness, even when we fall so short!

So, overall.....not too too bad, I guess!

My birthday itself was quite wonderful, if I do say so myself! I got a good night of sleep the night before and my first call of the day was a great conversation with my mom, who is super cool. We had a good visit, which I always enjoy. Then, we got the boys' bunk beds out of the garage and up to their room, cleaned up, set up and the rest of the room cleaned and set up. A big hit, and it made a lot more room too! Then, we took the kids to Chick-Fil-A, ,which was fun, especially with Sweet Potato the Clown! (who they are still talking about, by the way!) Then, I had a hard nap and my sweet friends Julie and John came over to watch the little ones for us so we could go out to eat....Cafe Annice, which was wonderful as always! And they met us at my SURPRISE PARTY at the church...well....I should say, as soon as we were out the door, they were hard at work to make this party happen....(especially since I wasn't exactly cooperating, unbeknowst to me!) which was a total surprise and shock...and which I happened to be quite late to, due to taking my own sweet time visiting and hanging out beforehand! It was absolutely beautiful and so much fun, just to hang out with so many of my friends...there is nothing I'd rather do, so it was truly a blessing!

I got my little Nike+ipod thingy for my birthday, which is SOOOO COOL! I'm hooked already, and can't wait to do more runs to try it out! I found out the San Antonio Marathon got bought out by the Rock-n-Roll marathon people, so I am seriously thinking of training for it! I had so much fun when I ran San Diego, I really think it'd be a good challenge to work toward. I also got asked to do a Sprint Triathlon in Austin in June....I think I"m going to try, ,although I'm a big weenie about the swim part!

Well, I better get some sleep now....this is my last chance to sleep really til Friday night, since I"ll be working the rest of the week! As the Veggie Tales would so...."Toodle Do!"

I LOVE to SWEAT!

Woohoo!!! Okay....can you tell ("you", like anyone reads this thing! Haha!) I just got back from a run?! Yep...I'm sweaty head to toe and I love it! There is nothing like a good workout...a run, in my case...to make you feel like you accomplished something. Woohoo! I so didn't want to go because I am so stinking tired. But, as I knew I would be, I am so happy I drug myself out there to run. The scale is hovering between about 218 and 221 right now, so I'm looking for consistently being under 220 as my next little mini-milestone. I've been behaving, so I am thinking it'll happen soon, at least I hope so!

" I run in the path of your commands,for you have set my heart free." Psalm 119:32 I saw this verse in a signature line on a forum post about running....so, yes...I am admitting to blatantly stealing the verse for the same purpose! What a great one! I know I've read it, but seeing it on it's own like that is sorta cool. I'm not generally a big fan of taking things (especially scripture) out of context, but that was pretty cool. So, yea, I am trying to run in the path of His commands. I think I probalby fail far more at it than not, but Praise Him for never, ever giving up on me! He has set my heart free....I pray I will not walk, but RUN in that freedom!!

what a weekend!

Well, I'm back from a fun and exhausting weekend at Camp Cho Yeh with my youth. It was a lot of fun....for lots of reasons; the main one being that I simply got to hang out with the kids and have fun with them. I really enjoyed that. Bonding like what we got to do helps encourage me that I am building relationships and that feels so good. It's a step in the right direction toward the wider goal of helping these kids truly become disciples. What could be better than that? The theme for the weekend was "Hope is in our midst." It was a great message and I know the kids got a lot out of it....and it was a very appropriate message for myself as well. I can remember many years ago being in a situation that felt sorta hopeless....okay, it was after having my heart broken worse than it had ever been broken, up to that point in my life. I remember really finding and focusing on the concept of "hope." Seems too, that I remember writing in my journal something about how I never really understood the concept of hope until I didn't have any.

Well, I've got a lot of great things going on right now, but there are also some things that don't seem as filled with hope as I wish they did. I was reminded this weekend that hope IS in our midst...all the time, because the Lord is with us, and He is our hope. I must remember that!

I truly want to spend more time praying or in the Word, too. I am hungry to sit at the Lord's feet. How I hope for a quiet, peaceful time to sit at His feet soon.

In weight loss news: Don't know where the scale is standing now, but I feel much better than I did. I ran around all over camp this weekend and the portion sizes on meals were quite small. So, I am thinking I did pretty good. (not counting the Sonic I got tonight for dinner....I didn't really feel like cooking after I got home, so we went to Sonic with some gift cards we had been given and I ate a chicken strip basket. Not good, but I am thinking the weekend probably more than compensated for it.

I missed my sweet babies while I was gone. It was good to be back with them!!

Well, tomorrow starts..what is it? week 8 or 9 I guess of my M-F workouts and eating better. I'm looking forward to it and hoping I will do okay!!!

There's nothing like a run outside when it's cold!!!

Aaaahhhhh...yes, you can tell I've been running! It's about 50 degrees here and perfect weather for running! I didn't get to go earlier to the gym as Missy G still is a little sick and I worked a night shift last night and got off of work at 6 am...soooo, I went out running tonight in our neighborhood and it was darn near perfect outside! I took just a short walk break once, I think, and I ran the rest of it. A total of about 2.25 miles. The stars were beautiful, the night peaceful..really, really wonderful! Then to come inside and start sweating was pure joy!!! (yes, I'm a sicko, I admit it!) I think there is nothing like a good butt-kicking sweat-fest to cope with the stresses of life...well, you know....after prayer and all!! I think movement must be one of the greatest gifts the Lord gave us.

I do have a crazy idea...I really would love to run a marathon again someday. I wonder if there are any other nutcases out there like me who stay up way too late and would want to train for a marathon? I know of one friend who might would be game....I am thinking how cool it would be to have a "midnight marathoners" group. Do all your normal short runs on our own and then get together for a long run each week....but instead of getting up early to go like most people with sense would do, go at like 11 or 12 for a long run. It wouldn't be too hot, not much traffic out, and you wouldn't conflict with other stuff going on. Just a crazy thought I had!

Need sleep now!! Working on only about 3 hours for the last 2 days! Nighty night!

Down a couple more!

Woohoo....I am down under 225, headed for the 2-teens now. It seems I was stuck at that 227ish area for a few weeks, but things are moving again, and I am so thankful for it. I am now weighing in consistently between 221 and 224....next mark, to be consistently below 220. My birthday is at the end of March, and how wonderful it would be to be in the 2-0's by then.

I've now completed 6 full weeks (plus 1 day so far) of working out EVERY M-F without fail. It feels sooooo good, and I am not only feeling better physically, but emotionally too. Exercise is sooooo good for the mental health! I think I forgot how much I loved getting my blood pumping and my muscles moving.

I am also 3 weeks no chocolate. That's a real big deal for me. I'm not missing it too, too much, really. Just if things get a little stressful. Like this past weekend. I had an awful lot going on with the youth potato luncheon at church that I pretty much have to pull together and working the other job (2 night shifts last week) my 5th and 6th grade youth group Friday night, etc. Oh, and my baby girl was sick Saturday night with vomiting and stuff, which I don't do very well! By the time Sunday got here and I was working on like about 6 hours of sleep for the entire week and everything going on, I was REALLY feeling the need for some chocolate!! I made it though, and even though it was all around me, the Lord helped me to keep the commitment to stay away from it--and it felt like a little victory, which is a cool feeling!

Yesterday I didn't get to go to the gym because of the lingering effects of Missy G's little stomach bug (ie, diarrhea) but my good friend and I went walking last night late and so I still got in some exercise. We walk pretty fast and last night I think we went around 4-1/2 miles....a little over an hour of walking. It felt great, and really therapeutic. My husband was having a very difficult time last night (okay, when is he not?) especially difficult, with some major problems and stuff going down at work. I have been so frustrated with him, so it took all I had to try and walk the line between compassion and telling hard truth. It was really wearing me out. Well, by the time my friend and I had walked, things were feeling a lot better. It is good for the mind as well as the body! We'd go around the 3/4-mile block in our neighborhood and get back to my house and be like "we aren't done talking yet...let's go another!) and by the time we finished, it was nearly midnight and 6 laps later! She's been through quite a lot herself lately, so I think it was good for both of us. Praise God for the gift of wonderful, precious friends!! I have a lot of things that I am less than pleased with in my life.....but my cup overflows with blessings from my friends...who are really like family. My kids are pretty darn wonderful too!

2-teens, here I come! (never thought I'd be so excited to say that!)
Later, gators!

Two-a-day!

I feel great tonight...had my first "two-a-day" workout today...I went to the gym this morning and ran on the treadmill for 35 minutes (with a walk break or two, of course) and then tonight a friend came over after I had my kids were in bed and she and I got to take a 3-mile walk. It felt soooo great! The weather is sorta cool and it's pretty much perfect for going out and walking. It felt so, so good, and it's so nice to walk with a good friend and get to visit and catch up.

And, I hopefully worked off most of my supper! Can't beat that! We are gonna try to go again tomorrow night, and I'll go to the gym in the morning, so hopefully tomorrow will be another 2-a-day. I have to work overnight Wed and Thurs, so all I'll get in those days is my morning at the gym workout...but hey, I'll take the late night walk whenever I can get it! I'm feeling good! Woohoo!

Hangin' in there

Well, last week I finished up 5 weeks of M-F workouts and have already started with 35 minutes of running/walking today at the gym. My weight isn't changing a whole lot this last week, hovering between 225-228 or so. I am hoping to be somewhere consistently below 225 by the end of the week.

My eating has been fairly okay, although Saturday night we ate at Chili's and I ate a little more than I probably should--but not too too bad. Last night was youth group and we had a Sunday school class fix us Tacos...I ate 2, which wasn't too awful, I don't guess. I have successfully managed to stay off the chocolate, which I am VERY happy about. I've had a few temptations here and there, but I've made it.

Now I need to start knocking a few things off my to-do list. It's so long, I hardl know where to start. Oh well! Guess if I get off this computer I might make some progress!

still going strong!

Well, I'm at almost 5 full weeks of working out and eating clean, and I'm down about 20 pounds. (I say "about" because I'm not totally sure where I started at! It was too scary there for a while to get on the scale!) I feel much better and am so happy to be on my way!

I'm doing good with no chocolate too...even tonight at work with the prettiest chocolate cake you've ever seen there tonight! It was the toughest challenge yet, but I made it, and am so glad.

I know this is short, but so is time, so I'll be going for now! Just wanted to say YAY!! I'm doing good! Thanks, God, for YOUR strength that keeps me going!

So far, so good!

Well,today was day 5 of the no-chocolate thing, and so far, so good. I am really excited to be making the progress I am. My weight is hovering around 227ish right now, give or take a pound or two, depending on my state of hydration and whatnot, so I'm going in the right direction. Yesterday my eating was a bit erratic because it was such a busy day at the lab. I didn't get to eat lunch and then I slept when I got home, so then we went and ate Lupes for dinner. I was a lot better than I could have been, but it was still Lupes! Today I did good with just a frozen dinner at lunch and then we had youth gruop tonight and the wonderful folks who fed us made hot dogs. I ate just one, so that wasn't too too bad I don't guess. No dessert either. Not to mention the ultimate frisbee we went out and played after dinner for an hour! Being controlled is getting a lot easier than it used to be.

Tomorrow it's time for me to go back to the gym. I'm gonna go in the morning, I think, probably when I pick the boys up from school, before we come home. I have to work a night shift tomorrow night at 8, so it'll probably be too rushed to go later on in the day.

I need to sit and re-read the "phase 2" part of the Chantel Hobbs book. I think this is the one where you just add strength training in on the stability ball a couple of days a week and stay away from one problem food for a month. I want to re-read it though, and make sure there is nothing else I"m forgetting.

I am so happy to be making progress!

Four weeks down..and 3 days sans chocolate!

This is gonna be short and sweet tonight, because I am whooped! I have so much to talk about, but I'm really exhausted and have to work at the hospital at 6 in the morning....the only reason I'm up now, is because I have to get my scrubs in the dryer after the washer finishes up!

I worked overnight Monday, Wednesday and Thursday at the lab this week, so my body is a little mixed up right now. I haven't had a ton of sleep, because my kiddies need me awake during the day and also because I sang at a funeral today...that's part of what all there is I could be writing about. I had my 5th and 6th grade youth group tonight, and then I go into work early tomorrow morning at the hospital again.....so, all of that is why I'm sorta wiped out.

On the weight loss front...I'm still hovering between about a 15-16 pound weight loss. I made it to the gym Monday through Friday to either run or do the ellipical each day for at least a half hour, and this is day 3 without chocolate. It was a little challenging at youth tonight with the desserts, but I made it and am so happy I did. I may not be looking much better yet, but I am thankful to be feeling better. It's amazing how much it changes your attitude to just be working on a goal like this and to be making progress. Thanks be to GOD for His strength and mercies that are new every morning!

Tuesday already

Well, here it is Tuesday, and it's been several days since I wrote anything. I'm staying the course on my eating and exercising, so I'm happy with that. I ran at the gym yesterday for like 25 minutes...wanted to do more, but we got there a little late and the childcare was only open til 8pm, so I had to get the kiddies and go. Tonight was the same sort of thing, only I did the elliptical. Last night I ended up doing an overnight shift at work, so I'm pretty certain I made up for the extra 5 minutes by running around the lab until 6 am! It was a good night, thankfully! Today, all the treadmills were full, so I used the elliptical, and I was sweated down pretty good by the time I finished up. It felt great! I ran into one of my old Young Life kids tonight too, which was fun. She and I talked about the last 10 minutes or so of my workout, so it went super fast! My weight is down to like hovering around 231 or 232...I've been saying I'm down probably 15 pounds since I started this whole thing.....I'm not totally sure where I topped out at, but It was somewhere mid-to-high 240s, so I'm thinking I'm right at 15 pound gone...now only 85 more! I'm looking forward to breaking that 230 barrier to get to the 220s. And then the 2-teens, and for sure getting down below 200 into ONEderland. I'm way ready for that! How awful is that, that I'm looking forward to the 220s! I never in my life thought I'd be making progress to make it there! It feels so much better though, to be working on it.

The next project is giving up chocolate...at least for awhile. I'm going at this with 2 ideas in mind, actually. Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday....the beginning of the Lenten season. Now, having grown up as the Baptist that I did, the only "lint" (ph. spelling) I knew of was in my dryer! I never knew a thing about Lent or any of the creeds, or any other kind of liturgy! I will say I grew up with a healthy knowledge of scripture (commited to memory) which I am so very grateful for today. I also grew up with the awareness that God was God and I'm not, and that there was a definite right and wrong....I'm very, very grateful for that, but being the Presbyterian that I am now in this season of my life (and probably for the rest of my life, if I had to guess...only the Lord knows!) I am excited to learn new things (new to me, that is) and to learn to love the Lord with more of my mind than before, and take on some more challenges. Enter Lent!

This year, I've decided for the first time ever, to give something up for Lent....I've never done it, and I'm not going ot make a big deal of it or anything, but it is sort of a big deal to me! I'm going to give up chocolate. I DO love Jesus more than chocolate, and I want to exercise some much-needed discipline with it during this season. I want to instead of focusing on chocolate, to focus on Him and what He wants to do in and through me. Now, for some people, chocolate may not be a biggie....but for me, it's HUGE! I gave up chocolate once before, but only because I was pregnant with my high-risk pregnancy where they were watching everything I did like crazy and wanted me to have NO caffeine...which meant no chocolate. Well, that lasted til the end of my first trimester, and then it promptly ended when my healthcare professionals thought it safe for me to eat it again. So, it's sort of a big deal to me...I am a chocolate lover....but I'm hoping to curb that love to some degree through this!

The other motivation I have, which does tie into trying to be the best I can be for His glory, but still an independent concept, is the Chantel Hobbs book. Her phase 1 is the exercise 5x a week for 4 weeks. Phase 2 is to keep that up, add some strength training with the stability ball, and then to identify a problem food (just one) and keep away from it for a month. Well....it just so happens that this is week 4 of my hard-core working on this, and so it would have been next week anyway that I would have had to give up a problem food....and for me, by far the biggest problem is CHOCOLATE!

So, I'm just starting this phase a little early, and trying to exercise it as a spiritual discipline as well, connecting it with the Lenten season. So....Fat Tuesday being about over....no chocolate, here I am!

Three weeks down!

Yay! I made 3 straight weeks of working out somehow or other Monday through Friday for a minimum of 30 minutes per day! I am pumped! This evening, after the words we had last night I guess, I was allowed to go out and run just before we ate supper at like 6 pm. I was able to be more creative about my route, since we still had some daylight left. It was cold and felt great! I ran/walked (mostly ran...slowly, but still a run) probably a little over 2 miles. It felt great! Then, I had some taco soup and a salad for supper, which was way good. (lunch was posole and a salad.) I still haven't had my fuji apple today yet...thinking I still might want that!

Today was sort of weird in an unexpected-type of a way. I got the kids up this morning and one of the boys still had a fever, so I was going to let the other one go to school and have him stay home with me and Sister. Everyone was all prepared and ready for that, and we got to school and it looked awfully quiet. No one was there, parking lot empty, etc. There was one car in the drop-off line with a Grandma who was going to drop off her grandson. I pulled up and noticed it was really weird, so I asked her if she knew what was going on and she said there was a sign on the door that said preschool was closed today! No notice, no anything...just a note. This is really, really weird! She thought maybe it was because so many kids have been sick, but I really don't think they'd close school for that. We are all paying our tuition and not only that, but there is always a time of the year when kids get sick and miss school a lot. I don't know if they couldn't find teachers or what was going on, but it was weird! I tried calling the boys' teacher to ask and a couple of other friends with kids there, but got no answers at anyone's homes, so...even weirder! I guess I'll find out soon what the deal is.

So, we stopped by my office at church quickly to get my mail and stuff and then went to the drive thru at the bank. It was so funny while we were there...I looked back, and both boys had their shoes and socks off, wiggling their little toes at me. They make me laugh! It's the little smiles on their faces and how proud they are of stuff like that that is so precious. We came home after that and laid sorta low....watched some tv and played with some toys and stuff. I didn't want to push it too hard with them still getting over their sick stuff.

While they took their nap, I had a little time with the Lord, which is always a good thing. I was fighting to stay awake, but it was still good. Speaking of which...as crazy as it is for me, I think I'm about to take a shower and crash now. I never, ever go to bed this early, but I have to work at the lab at 6am, so that will be here awfully early!

Three weeks...yahoo! The Chantel Hobbs Never Say Diet book is broken into stages, and the first stage is simply to exercise 5 consecutive days each week for at least a half hour. She says after the first 4 weeks, it becomes habit. Well, it's habit and not only that but an ADDICTIVE habit! I have always loved exercise...it's so wonderful to have the chance to get back with it again! The weight is down about 14 pounds total since the start of the year. I'm pumped with that!

Okay...better go and get some rest so I'm ready for whatever the lab throws at me tomorrow!

Did it again!!!

Yipppeee Yahhoooooo!!! I just got back from another late night run. Not my first choice of workout...the late night part, that is, but praise God, I got the workout in! Thirty-eight minutes of sweat, stars, and breathing really hard in the freshly cold air! AAAhhhh....I love it! There is nothing like the feeling of a good run! Especially when you haven't had many of them in a too long time! I love running in the cold. I mean, it's not like super cold--just about 50, but for us, that's like polar time!

I've been sorta stewing all evening at my husband for not allowing me the little bit of time I needed to get in a workout this evening sometime. We exchanged a few words over it later on tonight before I went out. He said I should've told him when I wanted to go....to which I replied that he was just going on about what all he had going and how he was going to do this, that, and the other and then get to bed--period, end of story. I had told him the only plans for tonight, only thing I needed was my half hour to go do some sort of workout. He never said much one way or the other and the next thing you know it's 9pm, dark, and I'm putting my kids to bed.

Well, I am not a negative person by nature. I'm really not. But sometimes I get pretty frustrated with this situation. So...in an effort to re-think this in a more positive manner, while I was out running, (did I mention it felt awesome!) I decided that instead of cursing the fact that I am married to a jerk that won't let me get away for 30 minutes to exercise while the kids are awake, I would instead choose to thank God for the fact that I live in a wonderful town where I really don't have to feel terribly afraid to go out and run at 10 pm. Of course, I would prefer not to, and I was extra super careful, but really, it is relatively safe here--if I lived in Houston or a lot of other places, that probably wouldn't be an option. So I will choose to be thankful instead of negative. (now, to carry that out....that's another matter entirely!)

I will say too...whenever I lose this weight and I'm down like 100 pounds from now, and people ask me what my secret is and how I did it.....I'm going to tell them to go BUY A STINKIN IPOD!!! That little thing keeps you exercising long after you would otherwise feel like stopping! This is just a little refurb older model nano I got for pretty cheap at Hastings...and I seriously think it's some of the best money I've spent. I used it for my class, which was great and the whole purpose of it in the first place...but man, as a workout tool, it's invaluble!

I did fairly well on the eating today. Mostly soupy stuff! I did the usual packet of cinnamon "Weight Control" oatmeal for breakfast, followed by a Fuju apple and just a few pretzels. (Apples, pretzels, and a diet Dr. Pepper are one heck of an awesome combo!) I'm sorta into those Fuji apples now. I used to be a Granny Smith girl, but I'm thinking since I've been to Fuji, I'm not going Granny again anytime soon! They are sweet and yummy! Then, for lunch I had a salad and some posole stuff I made last night. It was an old weight watchers recipe idea I hadn't made in good while, and it's yummy! You just cook up some onion in a pan with some cooking spray, add a couple of cans of Ro-Tel, a big can of hominy, some cubed up chicken breast, and a jar/can/whatever of salsa verde tomatillo stuff. It's a yummy spicy soup type thing that is great when it's cold outside. I like it a lot, and there's really nothing bad about it. The chicken cooks right in the soup and it's yummy! Then, I made some taco soup for supper. Super easy, super yummy, and not much too bad about it either. The worst thing in it is the hamburger meat, but there's not much of that, I used lean meat, and I rinsed it to get the grease off after I cooked it before it went in the soup. It was quite good!

The scale said I was down another about 3 or 4 pounds this morning. I'm thinking I was probably somewhat dehydrated, but I'll take it! Any sign of it going down is good in my book!

My sweet boys are feeling better today, so I am hoping they can go to school tomorrow. They so miss not being there! I tried to keep them low-key today just hanging out and resting mostly so they could get over this junk they've got. Missy G thankfully isn't showing any signs of being sick and I'm terribly grateful for that! Other than that, I feel sorta accomplished, because I made a big dent in the laundry today! I was hoping to go to bed tonight with everything in this house being clean, folded and put away....and though the night isn't over yet, I'm thinking it may be tomorrow before that goal happens. We go through SO much laundry around here! I'm working on it and feel good about the progress I did make though.

I did get to have a little time with the Lord today too, although it was shorter than I'd have liked. It is still sweet just to sit at His feet. I am going through this little study called Loving Well by Beth Moore. It' s just a little devotional journal type thingy and it's not terribly involved, but the simple truth in it is amazing. I read about a friend who went through it on her blog, and I decided to check it out. Beth tells 4 truths in the book that can help us love well:
1. God is perfect love.
2. God pours His perfect love into our imperfect hearts.
3. Nothing can seperate us from God's perfect love.
4. Accessed, I can love anyone through anything.
Today focused on number 1, about how God's character is love. Just as I am a woman...nothing will change that--not my mood, not my circumstances, not my age, nothing. I AM a woman...and God IS love. His love is so different than mine! I believe He is calling me to love well. I am praying for a miracle in the one part of my life where loving well is the most difficult. Thank God, He isn't finished with me yet! I know He can work a miracle...even in a stubborn heart like mine!

Okay....better go do some more laundry now. It's been a good day...and this run made it that much better! Tomorrow will be 3 weeks down. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.......