One week down....

Okay, so now that it is past midnight, I can officially say I have one week down of Lent...no chocolate, and very little refined carbs/sugar. I have had a few moments, like tonight when I ate a lot more crackers from the breakroom than I ought to, but for the most part, I have been behaving pretty well in the eating department. Which is why it FRUSTRATES me to no end that my weight is not moving....at least I don't think it is. To be fair, I must say I didn't weigh a week ago when I started this, so maybe I had slipped to new places on the scale that I have never seen before...which really scares me, truthfully! But, whatever the case, this week, I am holding steady at what my weight was before the year started. Grand. I have been exercising every day, eating well, and passing chocolate by and nothing is happening. Its enough to drive a girl to buy the chocolate bark at the store, heat it in the microwave and eat it with a spoon! Ugh! Just one more reason why I am glad this is a commitment I made to the Lord for Lent. If this was just a weight loss thing or a challenge for challenge's sake, I would have been at the candy machine down the hall and back to the lab with a Twix faster than you can say fatso. But, since it is a promise I made to the Lord, and to His glory, I have been able to stick with it.

I read a facebook post tonight about just trying to eat right and exercise and to relax on the whole weight thing. They were saying that they did that, took the pressure off and have now lost some more weight. Almost like the "trying" to have a baby thing...(although this never applied to me, since my husband could simply look at me and get me pregnant!)...the harder you try, the less likely it is to happen, and the more you relax, the more likely it is something will happen. Well...I can't relax too much, not with 100 pound to lose. But, I am going to try to relax some by putting it in the Lord's hands. If I am eating correctly, not pigging out, and exercising, doing all the things I need to do to be healthy, I need to rely on Him to fight the battle. I need to ask for His strength for the discipline I need, and then let go and let Him have His way. I always seem to try and make everything so formulaic, and in reality, it often doesn't have to be that way at all.

I am reading a really weird little book right now called Hipster Christianity by Brett McCracken. It's subtitle is "where cool and Christianity come together". Weird little book, but fun to read and interesting nevertheless. It talks about the history of hipsters and what a hipster actually is, and gives examples of things that are found in the hipster culture in general and the Christian hipster culture specifically. Some of the examples of people he uses are people I am not sure how I feel about (Rob Bell for one). Some are people I have never heard of. And some are people I have enjoyed listening to and learning from (Shane Claiborne, Brennan Manning). So, as I am reading this book, of course, I continually am trying to evaulate myself and others I know: "hmmm...am I a hipster? yes...probably so. Well, maybe not...definitely no!" or "Is *fill in the blank* a hipster? Well this fits, but this doesn't". And then I also am evaluating the author's descriptions of churches that could be considered "hipster" churches. Some of what I hear (they embrace postmodernism....praxis over theology) I just downright, with all my sensibilities of modernity that I have always been a part of vehemently disagree with. But then, some of what I read makes total sense to me (putting faith into action, going back to some of the old, historical practices in worship). So, here I am, once again, trying to apply a formula as I read, and it's just not always that black and white. I mean, my faith and belief in Christ is absolutely absolute--black and white as can be. But, my understanding of where I fit into this whole grand scheme of things and how it affects the way we as the Body of Christ minister and seek to live out the Great Commission is not necessarily an either/or...but, because I have to try and be formulaic, I get all confused by it all and tie my brain in knots trying to wrap my head around it all.

So yea....the good thing is, about BOTH of these things I have written about (weight and this goofy book) is that I am learning to relax some in belonging to Him. Yes, I have a responsibility and an obligation to study and show myself approved....and to take care of my Temple. But, I can also rest in Him, knowing my God is bigger than any formula I or anyone else who is like 100x smarter and more educated than me can come up with. He doesn't fit into a formula, and He doesn't have to--He is God Almighty. He loves me....and that really is- enough.

Two Days Down!

Well, I have been behavin so far...two days of chocolate-free, sugar-free Lent. I haven't had too much trouble sticking to it so far, although I have had slightly more snacking of some other things than I should...like a few fritos last night, and one roll I shouldn't have had at dinner tonight. But really, I am happy with how I have done. Also, I finished week 1 of the Couch to 5K program today running. I am bummed that I have to go so far back to the beginning on my running, but glad I am making progress! I am reading a book right now by Kim Bensen called Finally Thin and it tells of this lady's journey to lose 200 pounds! I think if I could read an inspirational book like this every week, it would probably help my motivation. She lost through Weight Watchers, which is encouraging too, since that is what I am trying to follow, even if I haven't been altogether consistent. In other news...I sure am glad its Friday tomomrrow! I am so whipped this week. Hoping to catch up on some glorious sleep and to behave myself this weekend. One day at a time..baby steps....Skinny, here I come!

One of my new favorite authors--and why you should read The Solitary Tales!

So, I read a lot. I had quite a few dry years as far as books were concerned...having 3 babies in 2 years and working full-time plus being a church youth director will do that to a person. But, one of the joys of working the night shift in a 19-bed hospital in the middle of Nowhere, Texas, is that you have time to read...a lot. This past year, thanks to this job and my kindle, I have been reading. A lot. One of my favorite things to do is to check out the free kindle books on Amazon and read them. (Free is my favorite). I have discovered a few authors I had never heard of before this way, and have some new favorites. I hadn't had my kindle long when I downloaded this book called Solitary, mostly because it had a cool cover and sounded like something I would like since it was about a teenager, and I am a youth-ministry sorta person. It was also put out by a Christian publisher, so I was good with that too. I read it in one night and had a hard time putting it down. When I realized it was part 1 of a series, I was so excited to see book 2, Gravestone was already out, so of course, I immediately downloaded it and read it the next night. You could say I was hooked. The Solitary Tales books are narrated by the main character, Chris Buckley, a teenager who is new to the town of Solitary, NC. He and his mother come to live there from Chicago, on the heels of his parents' divorce. What unfolds in this crazy and sinister town with an even scarier cast of characters leaves you laughing, crying, confused, captivated, and curious. (wow, that was almost an alliteration!) There are more twists and turns and unsolved mysteries than can be described here, but suffice it to say, there is an obvious battle going on between good and evil, and Chris finds himself right in the middle of it. There is romance, there is brokenness, there is humor, and there is hope. Book 3, Temptation, is set for release in April, but because I have a librarian friend who I guess has some sort of connections, I was able to get an advance copy and read it in its entirety last night. Wow. What a ridiculously, stinkin' amazing continuation to this series. I don't want to spoil anything, but let me say, it did not dissapoint. We continue to follow Chris through summer school in Solitary and the beginning of his Senior Year in high school, and some of the mysteries begin to unravel...and I stress "begin"--there is still much of the story to be told, I suspect, in book 4, and I hope, many questions which will still be answered. Temptation answers just enough questions to satiate the curiosity of the building questions, but leaves plenty yet unresolved and even brings up new questions. Book 4, Hurt is due out in January of 2013 (aaahhhh!!!! That would be an exasperated scream because that sure does seem like an awful long time to wait to hear the rest of the story!) I will write a legit-review on Temptation when it becomes available on Amazon, but for right now, this is my recommendation to read Solitary, Gravestone and Temptation! Of course, since I had many months to wait between Gravestone and Temptation, I set about to read more of Travis Thrasher's books, because well...they are just so good! I have now read everything of his that is available on the kindle and looking forward to what is next. I love his stories, because they are not predictable, and no two of them is alike...not even close! He is a believer, and thus writes from the vantage point of a believer, yet does it without being preachy, in-your-face, or cheesy. Cheesy seems to be pretty dominant in Christian entertainment, and that just drives me nuts. Travis Thrasher's stories are refreshing, because they are pretty much cheese-free. There are some crazy-funny parts in just about all of his books too, which is a big deal, because humor is a part of real life. The Solitary books, as serious, scary and suspensful as they are are laced throughout with some really, really funny stuff. It is also not lost on me that, like me, Mr. Thrasher is a child of the 80s with young kids, specifically twins. I think I just "get" some of what he writes because I identify with so much of it. So, for now, that is my recommendation, if you are looking for some good reads by a consistently engaging author. I have a couple of more I have discovered that I will share about in the weeks to come, but Travis Thrasher is my new favorite. You will not be dissapointed if you read his books, and the stories will stick with you--especially the Tales from Solitary!!
http://www.amazon.com/Temptation-Novel-Solitary-Travis-Thrasher/dp/1434764176/ref=sr_1_8?ie=UTF8&qid=1329875531&sr=8-8

Keepin Fat Tuesday Fat...and then....

Okay, so here I am again with not a lick of anything good to report! I have been bad, B-A-D BAD!!! Well, I mean I have been eating vegetables and have had some bike trainer time, but you know, I have been partaking in copious amounts of chocolate too. And it's time to STOP! Seriously...I want to be here for my kids, and I wanna feel pretty again. I am gonna b e 40 in a month, and I was hoping to already be there by that time, but since I'm not, I CERTAINLY plan to be by sometime in 2012, and for sure before I am 41. All those motivational thingys on Pinterest keep resonating: In a year, you will wish you had started today. Well, this food battle of mine has become more than just about food. I really believe the Lord is calling me to honor Him by taking better care of this temple that is in severe disrepair. I cannot fight this battle on my own, it is something that is going to require daily...okay, hourly...okay, okay--minute-by-minute handing it over into His hands. So, with it being Fat Tuesday and all, I am ready to commit to 40-something days of some better habits to get me jumpstarted in the right direction. My Lord didn't give me this life so I can eat my body into oblivion. Time to get this show on the road! So, midnight begins Ash Wednesday and Lent. I have only (being the recovering Baptist that I am) observed Lent in a give-something-up-and-use-that-to-think-more-of-God sort of way once before. Growing up, Lent/lint was always something I pulled out of my dryer. Then, I went to college and started to see people giving up certain things, but it seemed more of a ritualistic thing than it did meaningful. Then, when I got a little older and began to put my fideistic approach to faith aside some and learned more about loving the Lord not only with my heart, soul, and strength, but also with my MIND, I began to re-visit this whole Lent deal. A few years ago, I gave up chocolate. And though that may not sound like much and may seem very ritualistic to others, for me, this was an intense spiritual battle! Me and chocolate are tight...real tight! As in, I remember when I was single and lived way out in the country driving a half an hour (one way) just for some M&Ms. Its like a drug, and I am convinced chocolate has addictive qualities. It sure does for me anyway! Well, I made it through and began to not crave it so much, and truly, when I was tempted (like with a big-ass cake in the break room that resembled motor-oil it was so chocolately) I was able to focus on the fact that a promise to the Lord is one that is not to be taken lightly, and I used His strength to forgo the temptation. I have toyed with the idea of doing something like this in the years since, but have never felt resolved enough to follow through...until now. This year, it's on like donkey kong! I need to know His victory in my life. I need to commit and get my focus on Him, because I feel I am off track. I need Him. True, observing Lent isn't necessarily for drawing close to the Lord...but I feel like He is calling me to do this. I am going to, Lord willing, give up chocolate and sugar during this season. I am wrestling with Him about Diet Dr. Pepper too, but have until midnight to decide that one. I think He probably wants me to give that up too....anything that I am not willing to give for Him stands in the way of me experiencing His fullness...and oh, how I want that fullness! I have toyed with the idea of a Daniel Fast as well, but we shall see on that one. I think that one may be more my idea than His, but I am gonna continue with some serious prayer on the matter tonight and see where He leads me. I hope I can report back good things soon. I hope I can use this blog as accountability (though it is rarely read). Lord..I need You more; more than the air I breathe...more than the next heartbeat..more than the song I sing...and more than anything Lord as time goes by...I will be by Your side...I need You more!

Off the wagon, tryin to get back on

Well, I have been off the WW wagon since Los Cucos threw a wrench into the slaw on Saturday last weekend, but I am trying to get back with it. I haven't been awful terrible, but just haven't really been good, and certainly haven't been tracking my points since the weekend. Well, we are at another weekend, and its time to get back to business. I could use the excuse of pms-chocolate cravings this past week, but you know, you can't allow those cravings to control your eating for like 2 weeks. Really, Stacy, come on! Also, this week, I have just been crazy, ridiculous exhausted. Not sure why that is, but its true. I haven't been riding the bike in the mornings because all I can do is just sit and lay my head back. My usual 4 hours of sleep feels more like an hour or so. So, yea...not a great week for my health, but a great week to KNOW I can only do better from here on out!