For a couple of days now, I have been aspiring to run a 10-miler as a get-ready for the Surfside Half run...and it hasn't happened. Last weekend, I ran an 8-mile run with NO walk breaks...I amazed myself with that one. I don't think I've ever gone that far without a walk break. I must qualify that by saying my pace (woo...and do I ever feel fast when I do it!) averages about 13-1/2 minutes a mile. I know for many of my friends that is crawling...but for this fat momma, it's like lightening speed! Well, maybe not lightening...but, you know! It's definitely a challenge! I was just tickled to have gone so far without the walk break. The cool thing on my speed though, is that it IS improving. I can look back on my running logs and I am going probably about a minute-faster per mile than I was back in the Fall, and I've even picked up 20-30 seconds a mile faster since the first of the year...so, slowly but surely, I'm getting there.
So...why didn't I do my 10 then? I was planning on doing it Saturday, and opted out because I was going to do it today (Monday) on the holiday-day. Well.....for me, getting out the door is always the hardest part. And Saturday was no exception. I folded laundry...and more laundry..and more laundry (I do have 3 kids, so that is like, totally justified!) and I got to hanging out with the kiddos and I don't even remember what else...and before I knew it, it was like 5 in the evening, which meant I'd have been running til nearly 8 pm for my 10 miles, and I just honestly didn't feel like doing that....so, I opted to do a shorter run, and ended up having an awesome time on a 4.73 mile run. It felt good, I felt strong, and I was planning on doing the 10 today.
Well....I, of course, had a butt-load (and yes, given the size of my rear, that is quite a bit!) of work to do....My kids were out of school Friday, which meant no office time for me, and they were out today, but so was Craig--so he stayed home with them and he graded papers while I went to work this morning. I got quite a bit done at the office and stayed a good while. I am preaching this weekend too, so I have a lot to do to prepare for that, so anyhow....after the office, I went to apply for an additional job. Yes...this has not much to do with running, but it all goes together, so--the deal is, our hospital cut everyone's hours back because evidently we are struggling to make the ends meet....(hmmm...that sounds familiar! At least I know that even the HOSPITAL gets itself into these situations too....its not just us personally!) So, they have (as reported in The Facts--so its not like I'm divulging some big hospital secret or anything!) decided that in an effort to save money to keep us operational, they have cut all the hourly employees hours by 10% and they have cut the salaried people's salaries by 10%. Well, me being a PRN (ie, hole-filler-inner; as opposed to a full-timer or part-timer) employee am at the bottom of the totem pole, so my hours are cut way back....they had already been cut pretty significantly, but now it turns out I lost yet another shift this month, which means I only have 3 shifts total at the hospital the entire next month. So...we were barely making it with me working 2-3 shifts a week, so this hurts quite a bit! Anyhow...that is the impetus behind me looking for a third job. Anyhow....after I left my office at church, I decided to go apply for another job and talk to the lady about it, and that took a little while, so long story a little longer--it was nearly 3 pm when I got home today.
I still had time to run the 10 at that point....but honestly...and this is kinda weird: I didn't run 10 because.....I didn't want to. Lame, yes, I know...but I do love running. I enjoy it so much--and I really thought going and doing maybe 4 or 5 miles sounded awesome...but I just did not want (today) to do 10 miles. So, I thought to myself..self, why are you doing this? What is the deal? Can you not feel good about yourself if you go run 4 or 5 instead of 10? Does doing a shorter run make you a loser? Who is keeping score? Will my facebook friends all think I'm a goober if I don't get to post about my 10 miles on a status update? For goodness sakes..its not like I'm an olympian or anything! Anyhow....so, I decided to do 4 or 5 instead. And I was really glad when I was out there that it was only 4 or 5, because for some reason today, it was extra tough--but I still really enjoyed it, and I am glad I went. I am losing a pound every two or three days, so my weight is moving, and I am certainly eating totally clean too...so I think I'm okay.
If it came down to it, I could go walk that darn half tomorrow if I had to....I could probably run it too, truth be told. Of course, I want to train right though, and get in another long run of at least 10 miles if not a couple more before Surfside on Feb 14. And I can...and I will....but today, I feel okay about my 5. I still earned my shower, I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggonnit...people like me! (okay..I'll put Stuart Smalley in a box..sorry!) Besides...I think I can relax taking as much time as it takes me to go run that a lot more after Sunday, when I have to preach....because I sorta have my hands full right now!
I guess what I'm learning too, is that I have to keep stuff in perspective. Running 10 miles doesn't define who I am any more than my bank account (thank you, Lord!) does, or my job does, or anything or anyone else in this world does--Christ and Christ alone defines who I am...and He gives me freedom. I don't have to be a slave to a 10-mile run or to anything else...I just need to abide in Him. There is true freedom in that. There is also a beautiful freedom in obedience and trust. He is teaching me so much about those things now...especially where the finanaces are concered. Truly, we are utterly dependent on Him. We always are, of course, but don't always realize or acknowledge it. I am very much aware of that dependence right now...and it is scary as all get out and sweet all at the same time.
Okay....philosophical/theological moment is past, and I need to get a shower (oh yes I do--one I earned!) and do some work on my sermon. Don't know if anything I said here made sense or had any logical order or not...but that's my story, and I'm stickin' to it! (and I will be out running, hopefully 6 days this week, as I have been pretty much every week for a few months now! I am REALLY loving feeling like I can do this again!) Toodle-loo!
Monday, January 19, 2009
Friday, January 9, 2009
Five for Five!
It has been a good week! I have been able to run and run strong (for me, that is!) Monday through Friday. It has felt amazing! Now I know, to many of my friends, my running pace is probably equal to a Sunday stroll pace for them--but as stated in an earlier blog: Cushy shoes and need for the sports bra definitely qualifies my movement as running in my book!
Monday and Tuesday I went out early, like buttcrack of dawn early, and was able to run nonstop for around 30 minutes. That's sort of a big deal for me right now, especially since this was my first week back after having been sick for awhile and the holidays and all. It felt really good...and even though at times I looked for every reason in the world not to go, I was so glad when I was out there, and even more glad when I returned home and could write my miles (woo--like, all 2-1/2 of them!) in my little log book. Wednesday, I was going to get up early and go, but one of the boys kept me up most of the night with being sick...I think I probably did about 2 miles just going up and down the stairs to be with him! Anyhow....I was beat by Wednesday morning, so I slept in, with hopes that I could go run that afternoon when Craig got home. Thankfully, he let me go run Wednesday night and I was so grateful....I was able to make 3.6 miles without any walk breaks. This probably wouldn't be much of a big deal to most...and probably not that big of a deal to me, oh say as late as 5 years ago. But it's been AT LEAST 5 years since this big bootay was able to do that. Certainly pre-kids! I could do it when I was training for and running my marathon in San Diego....but that was in 2003! So, this was a huge accomplishment to me. I was on cloud 9 when I got back home! I mean, I still felt good and I was sweatin all over the place and sore and it so ROCKED! Endorphins really are wicked wonderful, I must say! I think part of being able to do it was how great it felt outside and the ipod, of course, but also the fact that it was in the evening. It makes it so much easier for me at that time of day--I think its more of my "prime time". Man, was it great!
So, I begged Craig for a chance at another afternoon run on Thursday, he kindly obliged, and I was able to do 3.4 with no walk breaks...and felt way, way good again! I know its not just a fluke that I was able to do it...its that whole consistency thing again...what a concept!
I did get up this morning at the buttcrack and went out to run and it was pretty good too. I had my 5th and 6th grade youth group tonight, so I knew there would be no time for an evening run, so I better get it in where I could...which meant it was basically back-to-back with the one yesterday evening. That made it a little tougher, but I was grateful to get out there. I probably could have trudged through it nonstop, but I did have two about two-minute walk-breaks. I decided to cut myself a little slack since it was a back-to-back deal. And I was very glad I made it out.
Tomorrow I am planning a long-ish run. Long for me, that is. Before I got sick, I was able to do a six-miler. Tomorrow its time for a 7 to 8-miler. We shall see how that one goes!
I have sooooo0 enjoyed having that ipod to run with. Who'da thought a little refurb nano from Hastings would be my best weapon against all the excess me! I have to say...I truly think most of my 80s stuff runs better than just about anything. Put Bryan Adams anything on, and man, I'm like a machine! As crazy as it is too, Whip It got me through a trying little stretch too, followed by Shania Twain's Whose Bed have Your Boots Been Under....good running stuff! Sometimes I feel sorta bad for passing by some of my great Christian music, but a lot of what I have just isn't real runnable....I mean, I love me some Watermark and Susan Ashton oldies and all that, but who ever tried to run to that stuff! Now Keith Green has some pretty upbeat stuff, and it makes you want to storm the gates of Hell with a waterpistol, so that's cool...but a lot of it is just too mellow for a run. My Christian running faves would have to be Jars of Clay, hands down. There isn't much they have that isn't great to run to. David Crowder isn't too bad, and I am all about running to Relient K (in my opinion, the Christian Bowling for Soup---who happen to also be great running pals on my ipod!) Yep....I still say when I am half this size I am now and everyone wants to know how I did it....I am going to tell them to buy an ipod! It so helps! I remember the days back years ago trying to run with a CD player thingy strapped on myself...yea, that really worked! Honestly, I think I left it in a friends bushes at her house because well....yea, a CD player worn on a body is cumbersome!
My little Nike+ deal for it is great too. Craig got it for me for my birthday last year. I am so loving it...tells me all the info about my run, will talk to me if I want it too, and saves it all on my computer when I sync up. It's so worth the about $30 it costs....it may not be quite as on as a GPS is, but once its calibrated, it works pretty darn well....I just love having that thing! I'm such a data junkie!
The eating has been going well too.....The only chocolate I've had this week was a slim-fast protein shake I forgot about the chocolate in when I opened it up. That was Monday. I have since sent those with Craig to school and haven't touched chocolate since then. It's harder at times than others, but the cravings are going away for it, and I am so glad. I've been having apples and oranges for my desserts instead....is this me I am talking about? Wow? I'm not recognizing this...isn't that wonderful!
Of course....Matthew 6:33 says to seek the Lord first and then it all comes together...some wise words that Bible has, huh! I know the discipline that has been conjured up in me isn't of my own doing...and I am so grateful for the One Who lives within me, who is changing me daily...and I am so thankful to finally be getting this Temple of His Spirit in a much better state of repair than it has been in for many years! As always....woooooohoooooooooooo!!!!!!
Monday and Tuesday I went out early, like buttcrack of dawn early, and was able to run nonstop for around 30 minutes. That's sort of a big deal for me right now, especially since this was my first week back after having been sick for awhile and the holidays and all. It felt really good...and even though at times I looked for every reason in the world not to go, I was so glad when I was out there, and even more glad when I returned home and could write my miles (woo--like, all 2-1/2 of them!) in my little log book. Wednesday, I was going to get up early and go, but one of the boys kept me up most of the night with being sick...I think I probably did about 2 miles just going up and down the stairs to be with him! Anyhow....I was beat by Wednesday morning, so I slept in, with hopes that I could go run that afternoon when Craig got home. Thankfully, he let me go run Wednesday night and I was so grateful....I was able to make 3.6 miles without any walk breaks. This probably wouldn't be much of a big deal to most...and probably not that big of a deal to me, oh say as late as 5 years ago. But it's been AT LEAST 5 years since this big bootay was able to do that. Certainly pre-kids! I could do it when I was training for and running my marathon in San Diego....but that was in 2003! So, this was a huge accomplishment to me. I was on cloud 9 when I got back home! I mean, I still felt good and I was sweatin all over the place and sore and it so ROCKED! Endorphins really are wicked wonderful, I must say! I think part of being able to do it was how great it felt outside and the ipod, of course, but also the fact that it was in the evening. It makes it so much easier for me at that time of day--I think its more of my "prime time". Man, was it great!
So, I begged Craig for a chance at another afternoon run on Thursday, he kindly obliged, and I was able to do 3.4 with no walk breaks...and felt way, way good again! I know its not just a fluke that I was able to do it...its that whole consistency thing again...what a concept!
I did get up this morning at the buttcrack and went out to run and it was pretty good too. I had my 5th and 6th grade youth group tonight, so I knew there would be no time for an evening run, so I better get it in where I could...which meant it was basically back-to-back with the one yesterday evening. That made it a little tougher, but I was grateful to get out there. I probably could have trudged through it nonstop, but I did have two about two-minute walk-breaks. I decided to cut myself a little slack since it was a back-to-back deal. And I was very glad I made it out.
Tomorrow I am planning a long-ish run. Long for me, that is. Before I got sick, I was able to do a six-miler. Tomorrow its time for a 7 to 8-miler. We shall see how that one goes!
I have sooooo0 enjoyed having that ipod to run with. Who'da thought a little refurb nano from Hastings would be my best weapon against all the excess me! I have to say...I truly think most of my 80s stuff runs better than just about anything. Put Bryan Adams anything on, and man, I'm like a machine! As crazy as it is too, Whip It got me through a trying little stretch too, followed by Shania Twain's Whose Bed have Your Boots Been Under....good running stuff! Sometimes I feel sorta bad for passing by some of my great Christian music, but a lot of what I have just isn't real runnable....I mean, I love me some Watermark and Susan Ashton oldies and all that, but who ever tried to run to that stuff! Now Keith Green has some pretty upbeat stuff, and it makes you want to storm the gates of Hell with a waterpistol, so that's cool...but a lot of it is just too mellow for a run. My Christian running faves would have to be Jars of Clay, hands down. There isn't much they have that isn't great to run to. David Crowder isn't too bad, and I am all about running to Relient K (in my opinion, the Christian Bowling for Soup---who happen to also be great running pals on my ipod!) Yep....I still say when I am half this size I am now and everyone wants to know how I did it....I am going to tell them to buy an ipod! It so helps! I remember the days back years ago trying to run with a CD player thingy strapped on myself...yea, that really worked! Honestly, I think I left it in a friends bushes at her house because well....yea, a CD player worn on a body is cumbersome!
My little Nike+ deal for it is great too. Craig got it for me for my birthday last year. I am so loving it...tells me all the info about my run, will talk to me if I want it too, and saves it all on my computer when I sync up. It's so worth the about $30 it costs....it may not be quite as on as a GPS is, but once its calibrated, it works pretty darn well....I just love having that thing! I'm such a data junkie!
The eating has been going well too.....The only chocolate I've had this week was a slim-fast protein shake I forgot about the chocolate in when I opened it up. That was Monday. I have since sent those with Craig to school and haven't touched chocolate since then. It's harder at times than others, but the cravings are going away for it, and I am so glad. I've been having apples and oranges for my desserts instead....is this me I am talking about? Wow? I'm not recognizing this...isn't that wonderful!
Of course....Matthew 6:33 says to seek the Lord first and then it all comes together...some wise words that Bible has, huh! I know the discipline that has been conjured up in me isn't of my own doing...and I am so grateful for the One Who lives within me, who is changing me daily...and I am so thankful to finally be getting this Temple of His Spirit in a much better state of repair than it has been in for many years! As always....woooooohoooooooooooo!!!!!!
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Here come better days...
Well, here I am, 2009 is here. Did I accomplish my goals in 2008?? Uh...that would be a negative. I had fits and spurts of progress, but not the consistent change I need to live this life in the way I ought to be. Well....Praise God from whom all blessings flow, whose mercies are new every morning, and who makes all things new. I love New Years, because it is a time to reflect and to look ahead...sure, you can do it at anytime, but there is just something about the passing of another year that lends itself to reflection and goal-setting..and I intend to do just that!
I haven't been able to run in about 3 weeks due to having been sick with a nasty crud that turned into a sort of bronchitis--as it always seems to...coughing up really attractive and colorful chunks of lovely lung stuff here and there doesn't really lend itself to running! As soon as I started feeling like maybe I could get back out there, Christmas was here and it was nearly impossible to get out and about with all there is to do in that week or so of the year. So...here I am, feeling more slothful than ever! And it didn't help today to see pictures of myself that are...to put it lightly...quite disgusting. I have a beautiful bunch of kids I am so thankful for, wonderful friends, and lots and lots of blessings..but honestly, I don't recognize the person in those photos anymore. I don't recognize the person I see in the mirror. Who is she, why is she so fat, and why can I see the years that have not always been kind to her on her face the way I do? I am ready to recognize what I see again...it may be an older, more weathered version than what it once was, but darnit...I want to at least see some joy back in that smile again! Its been far too long!
There are a few things I want to concentrate on in this New Year we have ahead....one of them is Consistency. I want to learn what this means because in the chaos of the last several years, I have lost the concept. I need first of all, to be more consistent in my time with the Lord. Being in vocational ministry is one of the most difficult hurdles it seems to consistent time with the Lord...at least it is for me! Sure, I spend a lot of time in Bible study and doing "stuff" for God, but what of my personal "Mary" time just to sit at His feet...just for the sake of being with my Savior? It happens at times, but not nearly enough! I have way too much Martha in me for my own good (don't we all!)! Consistent time with Him...which I have hope will lead me to letting Him define me, rather than my circumstances. I have had a lot of discontent with a lot of my circumstances for quite some time now....and I have been letting those circumstances rob me of my joy....It is time to let the One I belong to, and Him alone fill the empty places I am so keenly aware of. There is no reason in this world for me to feel unloved....He loves me more than I can ever imagine...wrinkles, gray hair, excessive adipose tissue, and all! Knowing this, I want to seek to turn to Him...instead of to the other vices in my life to deal with what is thrown at me. Food (chocolate in particular) can no longer be my best friend and my comfort. Food is fuel--period. Food is fuel...some may be able to handle thinking of it in other ways, but for me right now, I have to simply see it as my fuel--nothing else. I don't mean I can't enjoy meal time with my kids or whatever....but I need to concentrate on the time I am spending with them and not what I'm gonna have for dessert later!
Consistency with the Lord is the biggie...I know it will make all the difference. And I am hoping it will lend itself to consistency with my exercise. I have been off to such a great start--this Spring.....and then again this Fall, only to get derailed by stuff each time. Well....it's time to get consistent and serious about it. I LOVE to exercise...I love to run...I love to sweat my butt off (and lemme tell ya, that's a lot of sweatin'!) and feel like I have really done something. I just love that feeling.....so now I just need to conjure up the discipline to get myself in bed at a decent time each night so I can go out at the buttcrack of dawn and get after it...consistently!
I haven't run in 3 weeks. I am doing a half marathon the middle of February....I am doing my first triathlon in April...goals like this help me tremendously in my motivation. I'd like to find maybe something to shoot for after the tri, like a summer and a fall something....something to keep the consistency.
There are other goals too, dealing with finances and getting out of this ridiculous debt...we are chipping away on that. I am trying to perhaps have a chocolate-free rest of 2009 (if I can make it), and I have some big dreams I am dreaming for my youth group at church and a few other ideas I need to be praying more about to see what opens up and what closes...but for now, I guess my word is CONSISTENCY.
Okay...gotta get to bed now, so that I can get up and run in the morning! Here's hoping I will get up and do it.....no matter what the circumstances of the morning bring me! He is in control, and He is the source of all discipline...so look out LJ---this big mama is fixing to hit the streets again...wahooooooo!!!!!
I haven't been able to run in about 3 weeks due to having been sick with a nasty crud that turned into a sort of bronchitis--as it always seems to...coughing up really attractive and colorful chunks of lovely lung stuff here and there doesn't really lend itself to running! As soon as I started feeling like maybe I could get back out there, Christmas was here and it was nearly impossible to get out and about with all there is to do in that week or so of the year. So...here I am, feeling more slothful than ever! And it didn't help today to see pictures of myself that are...to put it lightly...quite disgusting. I have a beautiful bunch of kids I am so thankful for, wonderful friends, and lots and lots of blessings..but honestly, I don't recognize the person in those photos anymore. I don't recognize the person I see in the mirror. Who is she, why is she so fat, and why can I see the years that have not always been kind to her on her face the way I do? I am ready to recognize what I see again...it may be an older, more weathered version than what it once was, but darnit...I want to at least see some joy back in that smile again! Its been far too long!
There are a few things I want to concentrate on in this New Year we have ahead....one of them is Consistency. I want to learn what this means because in the chaos of the last several years, I have lost the concept. I need first of all, to be more consistent in my time with the Lord. Being in vocational ministry is one of the most difficult hurdles it seems to consistent time with the Lord...at least it is for me! Sure, I spend a lot of time in Bible study and doing "stuff" for God, but what of my personal "Mary" time just to sit at His feet...just for the sake of being with my Savior? It happens at times, but not nearly enough! I have way too much Martha in me for my own good (don't we all!)! Consistent time with Him...which I have hope will lead me to letting Him define me, rather than my circumstances. I have had a lot of discontent with a lot of my circumstances for quite some time now....and I have been letting those circumstances rob me of my joy....It is time to let the One I belong to, and Him alone fill the empty places I am so keenly aware of. There is no reason in this world for me to feel unloved....He loves me more than I can ever imagine...wrinkles, gray hair, excessive adipose tissue, and all! Knowing this, I want to seek to turn to Him...instead of to the other vices in my life to deal with what is thrown at me. Food (chocolate in particular) can no longer be my best friend and my comfort. Food is fuel--period. Food is fuel...some may be able to handle thinking of it in other ways, but for me right now, I have to simply see it as my fuel--nothing else. I don't mean I can't enjoy meal time with my kids or whatever....but I need to concentrate on the time I am spending with them and not what I'm gonna have for dessert later!
Consistency with the Lord is the biggie...I know it will make all the difference. And I am hoping it will lend itself to consistency with my exercise. I have been off to such a great start--this Spring.....and then again this Fall, only to get derailed by stuff each time. Well....it's time to get consistent and serious about it. I LOVE to exercise...I love to run...I love to sweat my butt off (and lemme tell ya, that's a lot of sweatin'!) and feel like I have really done something. I just love that feeling.....so now I just need to conjure up the discipline to get myself in bed at a decent time each night so I can go out at the buttcrack of dawn and get after it...consistently!
I haven't run in 3 weeks. I am doing a half marathon the middle of February....I am doing my first triathlon in April...goals like this help me tremendously in my motivation. I'd like to find maybe something to shoot for after the tri, like a summer and a fall something....something to keep the consistency.
There are other goals too, dealing with finances and getting out of this ridiculous debt...we are chipping away on that. I am trying to perhaps have a chocolate-free rest of 2009 (if I can make it), and I have some big dreams I am dreaming for my youth group at church and a few other ideas I need to be praying more about to see what opens up and what closes...but for now, I guess my word is CONSISTENCY.
Okay...gotta get to bed now, so that I can get up and run in the morning! Here's hoping I will get up and do it.....no matter what the circumstances of the morning bring me! He is in control, and He is the source of all discipline...so look out LJ---this big mama is fixing to hit the streets again...wahooooooo!!!!!
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