How long has it been?

Well hello there, nonexistent readers!  I'm back!  Only what, 10 months since my last post, no big deal, right?  There has been A LOT happen in my world since that last blog post at new years.  My family has moved, not just to a different house but a whole different part of Texas, my husband and I of course, with the move have different jobs, and our kids are in a different school.  We went from suburban living in Lake Jackson with around 25-30 thousand population to rural living in Harper, TX in the Central Texas Hill Country with a population of about 1200 in our unincorporated community.  Its a whole different world for us, but it has been a pretty sweet change.  Life here seems to have slowed down a lot--which is a welcome change. 

I am now working Friday, Saturday, and Sunday nights.  Twelve-hour shifts, so there isn't much besides work on the weekends, but I have all week to do things at home, exercise, and take care of my family.  And though I never would have chosen to work weekend nights, its actually working out quite well.  At times I would like to have some days off with my family off too, but for the most part, this seems to work pretty well. 

During our process of moving, we saw God do some amazing things.  He worked out every detail of our move and made our path incredibly clear.  He provided jobs for both Craig and I in wonderful places, He provided what we needed to get our house ready to sell and He provided a buyer for our home in a week and a half.  He led us to the perfect home for our family and has worked out our scheduling in a new routine.  No, life isn't perfect and we still have our issues just like anyone else, but I will say, this move has been a very positive thing for our family and I think things are better for us than they have been in a very long time.  I cannot say enough how thankful I am for that. 

We do miss our friends and our church family in LJ, but the cool thing in this crazy world we live in is that the world does seem a little bit smaller than it used to, with the help of things like facebook.  Though I manage sometimes to get myself in trouble on there in one way or another, it has been really nice to keep up with so many who we love on there.  Its not the same as being together, but it does help.  And we think we may have our church home here figured out.  After several months of visiting all manner of churches, we think we have a place.  Really happy to have found that!

And I am finally taking the time to get exercise and feel good again.  We live in the hills now (as opposed to total flat land where we were) and running and biking tend to be a challenge with that being the case.  I am happy to say though, yesterday I managed to bike 27 miles (yay me!) and I have run a couple of times this week too.  Only 3 miles each time and with a few short walk breaks, but more than I have run in probably 2 years.  Gosh, it feels good!  I have been trying to make my exercise a priority and I feel so much better.  Sure hoping the scale starts to show it soon too!  Since turning 40, weight just seems to hang on really tight!

I will try to do better at keeping up with this thing.  Not that anyone reads it...but its fun to write and it helps me to keep some perspective too.  So, nonexistent readers....til next time!

Hello 2013!

Well, hello there, new year!  I love New Years time...new starts, fresh beginnings.  Not that you can't have that all the time, but there is something so "official" about the turn of a new year.  I have recommitted to getting healthy (for like the zillionth time) and am off to a decently good start.  I got myself a fitbit just before Christmas and it has been a lot of fun!  It keeps track of my steps, sleep, calories, etc. and I am having a lot of fun following it.  I think the biggest thing I have learned from it so far is that I am not as active as I thought I was.  I have hit 10,000 steps several days, but not like what I would think I might.  It has been cool!  I walk laps around the hospital at night sometimes if I am close, and then get in my 10,000.  It integrates with the My Fitness Pal ap and helps me keep track of calories in/out, etc.  I am such a geek.  I remember nursing my kids and being freaked out because I didn't have a gauge on my boob to measure the volume of milk they were getting.  I guess I am a number nerd without even realizing it.  I also got my bike on the trainer moved into the living room where I can play wii while I ride, which makes the time go super fast!  I am also still trying to stick to the Just for Women Weight Loss thing, which is more or less paleo.  I have had a few slip ups, but nothing too crazy.  I got a Wahoo Blue SC speed and cadence sensor for my bike  today, which will help me keep track of the speed/distance I ride inside, which is cool.  It was crazy trying to get it on, since you are supposed to take the pedal off to get one of the magnets on, but that was MUCH easier said than done!  I think I got it on okay with some zip ties though, so I am looking forward to trying it out tomorrow, hoping I don't kick the whole thing off or something! 

I think I have decided that at least for now, I have to cycle instead of much running.  Back in the fall (or maybe even late summer) we were out at the beach and I was racing with my kids--oh, maybe 100 yard dashes or some such little thing) and I don't know what I did to my foot, but ever since even a little bit of running makes me nearly unable to walk the next day.  Its on my left (I think) heel--like where the tendon attaches, maybe?  It is okay now, but even after a measly 30 minutes of slow intervals on the treadmill the other day, I was messed up for several days.  So, for now the cycling is feeling great, so I will keep that part of the routine for sure! 

Okay....guess that is all of the update for now.  I need to write a few book reviews and various other things on this blog...but tata for now!!!!

Falling on my face and getting back up again..and again!

This blog is sort of a record of my many falls on my face and gettings back up again.  I guess in a way that is good, because I am still getting back up.  But I could be okay with not falling on my face so much.  I had been doing really really well on my eating plan for a couple of months when Thanksgiving hit, which was only supposed to be a one meal, then a one day, and has ended up being a week-and-a-half eat-crap-fest.  Well, not total crap, but enough crap that its crappy.  (could I say crap anymore?  Can you tell the mood I am in now, oh nonexistent readers?!)  I am bound and determined to climb back up on that paleo wagon tomorrow and get my caveman on...again.  No more sugar, no more grains, and no more crap!  I also need to get my coconut oil ramped up so I can get to ketosifying all that fat I am carrying around.  Lets just hope I don't end up in the bathroom all day!  That has been my coconut oil issue this past week.  I just got tired of seeing the bathroom.  No other details necessary, right?

I am also trying to get back up on the running thing.  I love my bike, like truly love my bike--but I know if I want to see this weight move, I am gonna have to get this butt to running again.  I started Couch-to-5K (again) this past week.  I mean, I have run a full stinking marathon, and lots of halves, but I am so far removed I have to find my way back somehow.  I finished week 1 with one extra fun run with the kids, so now its time to get serious again.  I think I have about 8 more weeks left of the C25K, so I am tentatively planning on running the Surfside Shuffle as a celebration and a goal, which will be close to the right timing.  I am also thinking of shooting for a half in maybe April-ish.  Just did some googling and found one that looks like fun north of Houston called the Bear Chase.  One of my boys, the bear-crazy one would be excited about mommy doing that one.  I also have a birthday 50-mile bike ride picked out, tentatively in Victoria the weekend before my bday.  That one would just be plain fun!  So yea, those are the latest goals to shoot for. I just hope I can keep my eating on track so all the exercise does me some good.  I am sure tired of being fat.

And honestly, right now, I just need some heart-work too.  I am about to shut down this computer and spend some time just me and the Lord by the Christmas tree.  I am so....dry, I guess is the right word.  I am thirsty, and in such need in my spirit.  I have been trying to do it all on my own, and I know that isn't how He designed me.  I need His presence, and I need to be intentional about it.

Tomorrow is a new day, and I am thankful.  His mercies are new every morning...hallaloolah!  (misspelling, intentional!)  Peace, ya'll!

Has it really been that long?

Has it been really since June that I last blogged?  Well...actually no, it hasn't been quite that long.  Sometime late in the summer I blogged, expressed some opinons, and had a bad experience with someone that used to be a friend who got really, really nasty with me because they disagreed with my opinons.  They crossed some lines and got quite out of hand, so I was scared off a little from the whole blogging deal for awhile.  I am not scared now, but I would be quite happy to not have a situation like that again.  I didn't apologize for any of what I said, because I don't believe any of it was offensive or out of line.  But I took it down, because I was sorry if it was taken in the wrong way and I didn't want to risk it being taken in the wrong way by anyone else.  So...that post is gone, and here I am back, to give it another go.  Me and Jesus are just fine and if not everyone else is fine, I can't let that be my issue.  So...onward!

So...there is so much to update...so little time.  Well, not really, but the phrases sort of go together, right?  On the weight front:  Hey, guess what...still fat!  But (as always) trying really hard not to be.  I signed up with Just for Women Weight Loss, who has an office in Houston, and I have been faithfully following their program for 26 days now.  I skype with my contact there, who keeps me accountable and helps me to konw what to eat and how to approach this weight loss thing.  Between this accountability, but more than that, the fact that I am actually paying for this program, I have been very very well behaved.  I lost 16 pounds in the first 2 weeks, which was awesome and I was so excited.  But of course,  now in the past week and a half haven't lost an ounce, which really frustrates me.  This program is sort of a primal/paleo type eating program.  The first 30 days are a detox-induction type phase where you don't eat any sugars, sweetners, drink any alcohol, eat any grains, processed foods etc.  You are supposed to take in a lot of fat from animal sources and coconut oil and such as that.  I am wondering if I am not eating enough.  I am not hungry and my cravings have gone away (thankfully), so that is all good.  I just don't know why my body is  hanging on to all this weight.  I skype with them on Friday, so I will ask about it and hope this weight starts moving again, because I have a loooooong way to go!  I can eat bacon.  That is the one time in my day when the clouds part and the angels sing...bacon time.

The other big thing going on is the re-launch of my little crafty business, SLS Creations, which I was going to begin many years ago--got the DBA filed and everything, but then I started doing youth ministry, had kids, and before I knew it 8 years had passed by!  So, here I am.  Got started because I made a cute little froggy afghan for one of my boys and posted a pic on facebook of it.  Then, later posted pics of  the bear I made for the other boy and some of my other projects.  Had some friends go nuts over it all, and the idea  hit me to take orders and see what happened.  I have since gotten an embroidery machine, have made many more afghans, sold several cute little candy-corn dresses, and have more orders to fill.  I have a little facebook page www.facebook.com/SLSCustomcreations and things are going well.  Not too busy, but busy enough to make a little extra money and have some fun.  The only bit of stupid I engaged in was financing my embroidery machine.  Felt like I made a pact wtih the devil by taking on debt.  I am hitting it hard now though, and trying to knock it out as soon as I can.  Its been fun because my kids enjoy the things I do and they are getting fun things I make too.  Also, on the weekends, I can say "gosh, I HAVE to sew!" or "gosh, I just HAVE to crochet!--darn!"  It has been a blast.  My house looks like hell, but I am keeping up with that when I can.  I think I may actually take a couple of nights off of work to clean house.  Sad, but true!

Guess that is about the extent of it.  My husband still makes me crazy, and not in a good way.  I sorta want to kill him most of the time, but not as bad as I did a few years ago.  Almost as bad, but not quite.  My  kids are still the light of my  heart and make me smile and so proud.  I still am tired of living in the swamp and want to move somewhere pretty.  God is still good and He still loves me even though I am a big fat mess, and I am grateful. 

So....wherever you go, there you are---and here I am!  I will try to be a little more faithful at this blogging deal, nonexistent readers!  Lets hope I can!  Til next time...tata!

Music and Memories

Here is a post that is a bit of a departure from my usual, but its one of those you just have to put down as it sort of spills out all over and writes itself. I was headed into work this evening, driving the back country roads through Wild Peach on my way to work in Sweeny. It was a pretty normal evening with a sun that isn't quite yet setting and me trying to find what I wanted to listen to while I drive the half hour to work. I listen to audiobooks a lot on these drives, and podcasts too, but I have recently discovered Spotify. Spotify is an ap you can get for your phone where you can pull up most any music you can think of and listen to it. I have been listening to a lifetime worth of memories since I have had this ap. I have been back to being a little girl in my daddy's pickup truck listening to Linda Rondstadt on an 8-track tape in between his police radio and CB. Charley Pride also brought me back to Daddy's truck, and also my uncle's truck, who I remember loving the song "You're my Jamaica." Kenny Rogers and Neil Diamond were played most every Saturday morning for clean-the-house songs with my momma. She and I also listened to a lot of M-M-M-M- Mel Tillis. Dancing around the house together, as I recall. All I have to hear is a few bars of "Send Me Down To Tuscon" and I can see her dancing around and feel myself dancing with her, just like if I were about 10 years old again. And of course, there are the songs like Jose Cuervo by Shelley West and Afternoon Delight and Knock 3 Times that a kid sings at the top of their lungs, having no idea what in the world they are singing about. The soundtrack I found of The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas movie takes me back to girl scount camp where I sang those songs by the campfire to my friends...Wow. What a stellar example of a kid I was, huh! Then of course, there were the junior high years of trying hopelessly to be cool with my Stevie Wonder "I just called to say I love you" and my Madonna Like a Virgin LP that puts me back in my little upstairs bedroom in Kingwood listening to my stereo in a heartbeat. And 7th grade wouldn't have been 7th grade without Chicago 17. Along comes a Woman, Hard Habit to Break and You're the Inspiration with Peter Cetera's falsetto voice made my heart swoon, and somewhere inside when I hear it now, a 7th grade girl inside still swoons. Moving to Marble Falls just before high school is where I go with many of those same junior high songs--I had a little red cube radio with a tape deck on it, and when we moved I remember drinking Diet Dr. Pepper in the old blue cans while I sat on the deck of our condo with my red cube radio which was picking up the faraway Waco 100 station while I looked out over Lake LBJ on Horseshoe Bay. Pretty sure every boy I had a crush on had a specific song, but I won't name names here! I also had 45s from all of our drill team routines from the year I was a Mini Mustang. Everybody Wang Chung Tonight puts me right back in a tiny little purple skirt and support hose with bright Mary Kay makeup on every time! Then, at A&M I rediscovered country music, because the cute boys all seemed to like it and liked to go dancing at the Texas Hall of Fame. This new guy not many people had heard of named Garth Brooks was one of my favorites, and though I only went to the Dixie Chicken once, I heartily sang our changed up lyrics to Friends in Low Places where we "slipped on down to the Dixie Chicken" with the best of em. And of course, David Allan Coe's You Never Even Called me by my Name, which was like the national anthem at A&M is still one of my favorites, and takes me back to those fun times as a college kid.Then, I had a boyfriend who introduced me to Contemporary Christian Music like Steven Curtis Chapman, who I still like even now that he doesn't have that mullet anymore, and Michael W. Smith. This boy used to play Rockettown on the piano in the lounge area of the dorms we lived in and I of course would Swoon. Just hearing the chord progression of Rockettown takes me back to being that awkward girl who really liked that boy who could play the piano. Then, when I was living on my own working my first job out of college in Brenham, Texas, I had a serious relationship with a boy I had grown up with, and there are a host of songs that take me back to that time--most anything by Little Texas, The Bellamy Brothers, and a few others too. Those are bittersweet memories, of good times that didn't end the way I'd have chosen, but in hindsight know it was for the best and I can look back and be thankful for how it unfolded. And that brings me to this evening and where my Spotify playlist brought me to on my way to Sweeny tonight. I have a playlist of starred or favorite music that I haven't quite figured out how to edit yet, and one day I saved nearly a whole album of Caedmon's Call to this list. The year is probably 1996 or 1997, and I am about 24 years old. I have been heartbroken over this broken relationship and daily was pouring our my heart to the Lord to, as I wrote in my journal "put back together the pieces of my broken heart." I was convinced I would probably never find another who would love me and that I would feel lost the way I did forever. I also had an acute sense of having wasted time. I lived in this town for about a year, and who did I know? All my effort and heart had been focused on this relationship, and when it ended, I didn't have any close friendships that I had cultivated. I was very down for quite some time. And then, I was asked to accompany our youth group from the church I was a member at on a trip to Dallas because they needed another adult. I was single, young, had a weird work schedule and vacation time I coulds use. So, I agreed, thinking what did it matter...It wasn't like I would ever have a date to think about again ever. (crazy how the mind can drag you down!) So, I agreed to go on the trip, and discovered more about who the Lord created me to be through that time. I remember listening to Point Of Grace sing and starting to sing with them during the conference. I remember having fun making the kids laugh and thinking to myself that I was laughing too, which is something I hadn't done in a very long time. I fell in love with youth ministry, and with teenagers. I began to accompany the youth to anything and everything that I could, and spent my remaining time in that community pouring into the kids the Lord put into my path. Caedmon's Call was just beginning to be known around that time, especially in the Houston area since they helped lead worship at the Metro Bible Study. I really liked them, and felt pretty hip when I'd listen to them. And I suppose that is some of what I was feeling tonight on my way to work. I was taken back in time, about 15 years to a time when the Lord put back the pieces of my broken heart. He put them together in such a way that I was able to see more clearly who He had created me to be. I discovered a passion that would later lead me to jobs I adored with Young Life and with my beloved First Presbyterian Church in Lake Jackson. I felt hope, I felt loved, and I felt like I belonged. There have been a lot of defining moments in my life since that time of course, and music played a role in all of them in some way or another, I suspect. But on June 6, 2012 on the road through Wild Peach in Brazoria County, I got to be 24 years old again, feeling a newfound freedom in the Lord and a hope for the future again. I was a girl who had so many dreams and knew my times were in His hands, and it felt good. It was good to feel that way again. And I am ever thankful for His gift of music and the power it has to help us see a little of what time travel must be like. Thanks, God, for music. It is a pretty amazing gift!

So far, so good!

Well, I believe that My Fitness Pal ap tells me I have been at it for about 37 days on the eating and exercising routine, and I have been behaving about that many days as well. I have lost 22 pounds and couldn't be happier with my progress. Now that the sugar cravings have abated and I am used to eating smaller portions, as long as I can keep from having some crazy binge that throws me into a tailspin, I think I can keep it up! And, I have a good month and a half, almost 2 months before we have big change in our routine with our vacation, so I should be able to get these habits well ingrained by then. Only in His strength, which I know is perfect! I have been cycling on the trainer and running some on the treadmill and can tell I am getting stronger, which is such a great feeling. Oh Lord, just hoping you will keep me on track! Until next time, nonexistent readers!

Still chuggin!

Well, so far so good! I think that My Fitness Pal tells me I have been behaving for about 17 days now, so go me! I am pretty excited about the consistency I have been able to maintain. Of course, I know its not me, but rather the strength of the Lord that is pulling me through. It is His strength that has kept my hands out of the bags of cookies my kids' have from their grandparents. It is His strength that is keeping me from buying the Milk Chocolate Blue Bell on HEBs shelves that I saw yesterday at the store. I am thankful for His strength. I really think this time will be different. Lord, how I hope it is! I have also been either riding the trainer or running/walking most every day too, which I am sure is helping. So far, I am down 13 pounds, and that helps keep me going too. I am still very much aware that I am big time obese, but it is truly amazing how just a couple of weeks of consistency can make you feel so much better about everything. I am really thankful. Here's to hoping it will continue! In His strength!