Well, not that anyone has been waiting with bated breath for this blog or anything, but it's been a couple of months since I posted anything, so I figured it was about time! I'm still fat..but I'm still working on it too. I'm not really okay with that, but I am doing what I can do for right now. This full time night shift I am doing at the hospital has made everything a challenge. I love it on payday, of course, and I love that I can pay the bills without wondering where the grocery money is going to come from, but I'd be lyin if I said I feel like I have it all together and that it isn't taking its toll in some ways. Trying to be mommy and youth lady with this added on makes for pure chaos at times!
Of course, probably the biggest challenge I have is sleep (or lack thereof!) I work four 10-hour shifts a week, so I have only 3 nights out of the week to sleep, 2 off at any given time. When my work nights are during the week, I am home during the day with my kids, and mommy has to veg a lot! It's not really the way I have ever wanted to spend my kids' toddler years, but I guess its what we have to do. They are pretty wonderful about it, and I try to make up for it by making the most of the time we have together that I am awake. I will say, I believe I have the 3 coolest kids in the world, and I do cherish every moment I have with them. I just hope someday they will understand Mommy did her best, and why I have had to always work so much. Eating and exercise are other big-time challenges I deal with on this shift. Eating gets all goofed up because your days and nights get all goofed up. And you can try as hard as you want to to not eat, but doggonnit, when you are up all stinkin' night, you get hungry! I try to not eat as much during the daytime when I know I'll be working at night and keep the meals really light, but establishing routine is very difficult when you are constantly changing back and forth between being a day person and a night person.
Finding time to exercise was a challenge before I began this full-time gig, so it's even a little crazier now. I don't really have the option of getting up early to go, when I don't get off work til 6 am and have to tag team when I get home. I do manage to make it out maybe 3 or 4 times a week either for bike rides or runs...even if it is for a commute of some sort...but I do crave getting to be more consistent and the endorphins that come along with it! One cool thing as of late, is that my boys are playing soccer, so they are all about going and running around at the track to get faster and running around on the football field up at Slade....we've been doing a lot of that lately, which has been way fun.
I did get to do the Monster Dash 5K on Saturday, which was way fun..and surprise surprise, there were like 4 people behind me! A month or so ago, I did the swim and run leg of the Brazposport Relay Triathlon...didn't get to do the bike, since it was getting rainy and that sort of thing by then. But I did have a LOT of fun with what I did..and I did it right after a night of work too..crazy, I know! I am planning on doing the San Antonio Rock and Roll Half marathon this next month, which should be big fun. I haven't been able to train the way I'd really like to for it, but I'm not there yet either, so I'm hoping for a few more good training runs before then. I figure, if worst came to worst, I know I could walk the whole thing and still finish in time, so I'll take it for the experience that it is and have fun with it.
So, yea, overall things aren't much different with my goals and things than they were the last few posts back when...just a different timetable is about it. I did get to thinking about it, and I am pretty sure I won't be fat forever...one of these days, the "real" me will be back out and visible again! When my kids are in school, I know I will use some of that time to get out and run and bike and stuff...I crave it so much, and now I use whatever free moment I can muster (which are few and far between) to hop on the bike or whatever, so I know I can become at least a little more consistent...and will get a little bit of sleep too! Not only that, but the bigger my kids get, the more they will be running around and running my big butt out on the track and football field and stuff! That can only be good for me as I get out there and it gets more and more challenging to chase them around! So uh huh...I am encouarged to think that this fat-deal is really just a season...I mean, its been a pretty long season, mind you...but still a season, nevertheless! Right now, I am trying to get out and do whatever I can, but I also want to make sure and cherish every moment of my kids right now that I can. The boys are 5 and Gabriella is 3, and those are such precious ages! These years go by way, way too quickly as it is..I don't want to rush them anymore...so for now, I will have to be okay with being the fat-momma-wannabe-has-been-uglier-than-a-mud-fence-who-I-am-for-now me and know that hopefully someday that won't be the case anymore!! Time with my babies is precious, and I want to enjoy it for every moment.
So...that's where it's at for now! There are a couple of areas of my life that cause me grief and pain and make me go yeeeech...but then I look at my kids and see that the Lord has indeed blessed me, more than I could have ever hoped for or imagined. Those sweet little smiles and little giggles are the best!!! I will also say, that I adore my youth that I work with at church...yes, at times they make me want to scratch my head and yea, scream sometimes too, but wow...what great kids we have been blessed with. I do so love my job at church, and I look forward to when I can devote more time and more of me to the work I do there...because it truly is fun!
Life can be hard...but, God is good...and I am so very, very grateful! And that's all I have to say bout that!
