Off the wagon....gotta get back on!!!!

Well, what I feared would happen with making birthday cakes and birthday celebrations happened, and I have got to un-happen it, which I am really not good at. Not good at at all! I fell off the wagon...off the no-sugar, South Beach, feeling good about me wagon...Aaarrgh! All it takes is a big bear cake and a chocolate dinosaur, both slathered in more buttercream stars than you can shake a stick at, and I melt like the butter I stuck in my bra to thaw! Holy cow! Their birthday was Thursday, and so we went to eat that night and had Italian...Luigi's, of course, for my two little Mario fanatics. I ate a pasta dish, which wasn't SB friendly at all, and then had some birthday cake. Like, a lot of birthday cake. This particular one was from Randall's, and it was just the actual day-of-birth birthday cake. Yea, had so much of it that I spent a good part of Friday in the bathroom poopin blue from the icing colors. Nice, huh! So, Friday night I start making chocolate lollipops for party favors for the birthday party and bake the cakes that I spent Saturday decorating, and before I know it, I have cleaned up the bowl of melted chocolate before it ever made it to the sink, and yea...lots of buttercream was consumed that day. And the next, because of course it was there. And then had some cookies...and before I know it, here it is early Wednesday morning and I have hit the snack machine at work for a 3-pack of Zingers! What has become of me! OK.....so, I have fallen off...so, I haven't weighed for fear of what the scale will say. I can start fresh, right? Right? Yes, I must. We are still sorta willy nilly on the routine, since my girly hasn't started preschool yet, but I am gonna try to get in some bike trainer time this morning and jump into the exercise, which I dearly love. And, I have GOT to get the food thang back in line. So, I am thinking, starting....NOW....no sugar, unless its in fruit. None of that refined flour stuff either. Can I do it?? I hope I can, I hope I can!! Back on the wagon I go...and yea, for whatever reason, this reminds me of the video I have of my husband from many years ago when we took kids to Young Life camp, and he tried to get on the blob in the lake at camp. He jumped off the platform and kept sliding off into the water...over and over and over and over again...jump, slap, sploosh! I am hoping all my jump-slap-splooshing has been these past several days....lets hope this blob gets on the blob and STICKS with it this time!!!

What an amazing 7 years!

Well, today we celebrate a very special day at our home....my boys will be SEVEN years old!! This past 7 years has absolutely flown by, and it has been the greatest adventure I have ever been on. I am so thankful for each and every moment I have been able to spend with my precious boys. They are growing up so fast and are becoming such wonderful young men, right before my eyes! They can read now, are kind and considerate, love Jesus and their family, and I am beyond anything I can describe absolutely in love with these little guys. So, so thankful! Hoping I can make it a special day for them, despite being in between night shifts. I also don't have nearly as many gifts as I would like to have for them, so I am hoping tomorrow we can make everything happen that needs to come together!

I am also hoping to stay away from the sugar of the birthday cakes tomorrow and this weekend! It may be tough, but I think I am doing pretty well with my cravings. Weight is still holding pretty steady, so hopefully it will move a little more when I can start exercising more regularly.

Finished reading The Help tonight too...what an amazing book! I loved it, and can't wait now to see the movie! Anyhow....da,da,da,dat's all folks!!!!!

Still hangin!

Well, I am still behavin, still hangin in there! Nothing too exciting to report. Weighed in at 234 this morning, so slow and steady progress is good. I would love for it to be a little faster, but as long as its moving in the right direction, I'm not gonna complain! Today was an "awake" day for me home with just me and the kiddos, and it was awesome. I love days like today. Even got a few things done...there is a TON more that needs to get done, and I barely scratched the surface, but at least it's something!

Holdin on

So, weighed in this afternoon at 235.5...holding steady. That means I neither gained nor lost over the weekend, and I am back on track now, so yay for me! Last night and this morning were pretty uneventful. Went and bought some groceries...lots of lean meats, grapes, sugar free pudding..you know, the good stuff! So, I'm back with it..hoping to stay that way! Slept a couple of hours before my husband put the dogs in to cool off, thinking they would calm down and go to sleep in my room, but I woke up to barking and chewing, only to find out that my chacos were chewed up....I couldn't sleep then, so I got up and sewed my sandals back together the best that I could, and now I think I am about to order some new chacs...my old ones were nearing replacement anyway, so this just sped up the process, I guess. Anyhow, then I managed about an hour nap before I got up, got to cooking, read 2 chapters of Hank the Cowdog to the kiddos, showered, ate, and had to head into work. So...there ya go! Holding on is good!

Back from the Vacay!

Well, we had a most wonderful amazing few days of family time on our little vacation this past weekend! So blessed and so thankful! I worked til 5:30 a.m. on Friday, and we finished packing and cleaning house that morning before heading out on the road. I ended up sleeping only about a half hour, but really enjoyed the time on the ride even though I was sorta sleepy. We drove to San Antonio (well, actually, Boerne) and went to Bass Pro Shop (gotta complete the tour of as many locations as possible!) and then checked into our hotel. Then, we headed up the road about an hour to Mo Ranch, a beautiful camp property where we send our church kids to for conference. I had seen it, but not actually seen it-seen it, as I have only dropped kids off there. My kids had been wanting to see it ever since their daddy went last summer with our youth, so this was a great chance to visit. Let me say: I was super impressed! I knew it would be cool, but had no idea just how cool! Beautiful views, and just an amazing quality of stepping back in time--in a good way, not an outdated sort of way. It is the sort of place I want to and intend to take my family to, hopefully many times between now and when they are grown. I want my boys and my girl to be able to have some memories at this place. So cool! So, then, we went back to our hotel (after dinner with my husband's brother and nephew, more on that in a sec) and Saturday we went to Fiesta Texas...didn't intend to stay all day, but we did! It was GREAT! My kids had a ball, and it was so much fun watching them enjoy every second of what we did! We played at the waterpark and rode tons of rides, saw the laser and fireworks show at the end of the night, the whole bit. I think we made some sweet memories, and I am so thankful! Then, Sunday, we were intending to go to church somewhere locally, but were really tired, and the kids hadn't been able to swim at the hotel pool at all, so we decided to have church on our own that morning and let the kids swim a little while before we left. They really enjoyed it, and we had a devotion time and singalong in the van on the way to my parents house in Burnet. We had the most wonderful evening with my mom and dad.....so nice! And this morning we had to take off and head back home...but we took the scenic route..the very scenic route, as a matter of fact! We went to Inks Lake State Park to check out the campsites, and were very glad that we didn't camp this weekend like we had planned! The Lord had other plans for our weekend, and it turned out far better than we could have ever asked for. We drove around there, then headed back a different way than we usually go, to do some checking out of the Bulverde/Canyon Lake/New Braunfels area, where we hope to move in the next year or two, Lord willing. We also checked out Guadalupe River State Park, which is another on our list of possibilities for camping, and then we ate lunch at the Gristmill in Gruene. What a treat! To look out at the river while we ate yummy food!!! Speaking of which....how did I do on the eating while I was gone, you ask? (well, I guess I ask, since I am my only reader, that I know of!) I wasn't perfect, but I wasn't too bad either! Friday, I had a McDonald's salad for lunch...went with the fried chicken on it, which was a little of a stretch, but could have been much worse! That night, we ate at a place in Kerrville called Culver's, with Craig's brother and nephew (their pick). It was basicallly a burger joint, and I am pretty sure there wasn't much on the menu that was healthy. I did opt for a grilled chicken salad and got a side of sweet potato fries, which I am sure aren't as healthy as what I make, but I could have been WAY worse...then, they had this frozen custard ice creamy stuff and it was BAD tempting, so my husband and I got a kiddie size one and split it...so yea, I was proud of that effort! The next day at the hotel, breakfast options were a little dismal...waffles, breakfast "corndogs", fully sugared up instant oatmeal, muffins, you know, that sort of thing...unless you opted for the hard boiled eggs, which I did not--legal, but yuck! So, I did the best I could with a packet of oatmeal and an English muffin, knowing we had Fiesta Texas ahead of us. We got lunch to take at Subway, and I got a 6-inch Club...had some baked chips with it, which isn't great, but I could have gone for the footlong and regular chips, so relatively speaking, I didn't do too bad...Now, that night I was a little bad...but just a little. We went to Habaneros, which is a Freebird's-esque build-your-burrito-as-you-go type place. I got a burrito with some rice (a no-no) but I did have a wheat tortilla, beans, and steak, which were very yummy and okay! Of course, the chips for the salsa weren't so great, but I didn't have a ton of them. Sunday morning breakfast at the hotel was the same bleh offerings as the day before....but they did have what appeared to be a wheat bagel, so I opted for that. Probably way bigger than I should have had, but it was brown at least! Then at lunch we stopped in Blanco on the way to my parents and got gas and lunch at the Stripes station and store thingy. I was a good girl and opted for the grilled chicken salad they had in their cooler. Then was when I got a little bad later....tacos al carbon (3 on flour tortillas..oh, the shame!), refried beans (they had no charro option) and rice and more chips than I should have even thought about, out to eat Mexican food. Sure was good though! This morning, I didn't do a lot better, with 2 of these out-of-this-world biscuits my mom had, plus a donut hole, plus a little piece of the chocolate pie she made. But, I think had I not had any of that bad stuff, I'd have felt deprived. And I didn't go nutso or anything...just HAVE to get right back...which I sorta did at lunch..well, sorta. We ate at the Gristmill, an amazing place I havne't been to since I was a kid, in Gruene. I got the grilled tomatillo chicken breast with some pinto beans and it was AMAZING!!!! Then though, the bad part was the dessert...although we split it 5 ways, It was an awful lot of brownie, ice cream and deliciousness! But, we are back, and it's back to it..and I am good with that. I feel like my little cheats this weekend were minimal, and that they will help keep me on track. Moderation...Stacy REALLY needs to learn moderation!

Overall, this weekend was just the biggest blessing. I feel like it was a great ending to a great, but way too fast summer. Loved my time with my family, and I feel like we made some great memories and I cherish times like that. God IS good....ALL the time!!!

Testing 1.2.3.

So, this is just a little test of the mobile blogging system. If it were a real emergency, you would hear instructions blah blah blah....So, yea...just learning a few features of this whole blogger deal, so here is me, a few nights ago sittin in the lab. Exciting, yes, I know! Hopefully I will get better at this...

Weight loss good! Some other stuff...blah...

Well, I weighed in at 235 today. I was pretty jazzed about another pound down. I did get a Chick-Fil-A salad tonight, which was a bit of a cheat with the about 4 kernals of corn on it as well as the tortilla strips, but there really wasn't too much I was being bad with. We are pretty excited about going this weekend to San Antonio and then to see my parents later...so I hope I can behave, at least somewhat decently in the eating department while we are gone.

In other news...the blah part...I am just a little discouraged about my ministry job. I am almost done...less than a month, in fact. But, I just feel like I'm not doing a very good job, at least organization-wise, and I also feel a little frustrated with just not seeing my family nearly enough. That has to do with the lab job too, but just all of it together makes for a little bit of a blah evening. I am ready to not be stretched quite so thin. I am ready to be done with work when I clock out and go home. I am ready to be able to concentrate on my babies and be the momma they deserve. I do have to pay the bills, and I do have to get things done, but I really am ready for the season to change. And it will soon...but I am ready now.

You know, I have, for so long been so focused on vocational ministry. I want to serve the Lord. I have a gift here and there that surface that make it fun. There are even a couple of things I feel occasionally good at. But honestly...I am starting to lose that desire to minister for pay, and to be "inside" the church setting for ministry. I mean, I love my church..like crazy, in fact. And I love serving there, and I know the importance of worship and meeting together...don't intend to change a bit of that. However, I feel like my true ministry identity is changing somehow. I still am unsure some as to how, but I know it is. I have peace with moving on. I have peace with not being in "vocational ministry" again. Doesn't mean I won't be in ministry. Doesn't mean that I don't love Jesus with all my heart and want to serve. I just don't want to do it this way anymore. I feel like I need to be at church and serve as I can, but then go OUT for ministry...to be a fisher of man, rather than a keeper of the aquarium, as Howard Hendricks once said.

I do believe He is calling me to prayer, and to mommadom! So, I am gonna put on my big girl panties and dry up my tears of frustration. It doesn't take much to bring them on with me lately...I admit, I am struggling hard, with each and every thing I am obligated to for the next month. I admit that I am tired of my skin being so thin when it comes to ministry and church work. I am tired of the fact that thin skin has to be an issue.

So....guess I will keep on moving, however I can. Prayer and His Word, and loving people well. Prayer, His Word, and loving people well. Prayer, and His Word, and loving people well. This is what I am called to do.

Yay for bike rides and stealth mode around dogs!

Well, this morning, my friend Emily and I went on a bike ride when I got off of work, as we try to do as often as possible during the summer. Summer is good, because she is a teacher and has a little more time to play with, and since I am married to a teacher, it gives me a little more time to play with too. So, the last time we went out last week, I had NO energy because I had had hardly any carbs for like 2 weeks, and wouldn't you know it, a dog came out to chase us! It basically hit me, and it happened so fast, that I am not really sure what happened. I know there was a big thud-plunk-thud, and I kept right on going and a few yaps later and thuds after that, the dog was whimpering away on its way back to its yard. Not sure if I ripped its nose off in my spokes or what, but thankfully, it didn't cause a major catastrophe. So, this morning, I am a little squeemish about the whole dog possibility. Dogs would start running around and my heart would beat faster and then I'd pedal like crazy...only to realize that the dogs were in their FENCED yard, and couldn't get out, so then I'd relax and keep riding. Had this happen a few times, actually!

Emily and I had devised a plan though, for this dog that got me the last time and that was surely still around to come out after us again...although, I had no idea if it'd come out with a full nose or only a sliced up one from my spokes last week! We decided to cross the road, as it wasn't terribly busy early in the morning and ride against the traffic on the opposite side of the road from where the dog lived. A little scary to ride so illegally, but between the road noise and our distance, we made it past with no sign of the dog! Of course, it helped too, that if the dog WOULD have come after us, it would have had to cross the traffic and probably been hit...so, yea, score for us! We ARE smarter than than a junkyard dog!!

Of course, a little later, we got chased by a pretty dog, who thankfully stayed on the grass and just ran along beside us. This of course pushed me into interval training mode the likes of which I haven't seen in a while....I was pedaling like mad!!! And then a miniature weenie dog got after us too, but he was easily outrun...after all, his legs were like, an inch long at best!

Anyhow...slept like a baby after all that. We only covered 15 miles, but with the extra adrenaline of the dog issues, it was a great workout! Weighed in at wake up today at 236. Slowly but surely...slowly but surely!

Going well..

Well, so far so good this week on phase 2. I am much happier and more able to keep with this eating plan on phase 2....and my husband, who is also doing this, is happier too. I'd say much happier, but really, he's just happier with no superlative. He is still not enjoying this whole thing, but we need so much to get with it, so he has been doing well too. I weighed in at 236 this morning, so the loss isn't fast, but it is steady, which is a good thing I suppose. Tomorrow morning I am going on a bike ride with my friend, so that'll hopefully help too! I made some yummy sweet potato fries (in the oven) to go with our dinner tonight, and they were a treat! Can also eat some fat free, sugar free pudding, which helps too! I am hoping to get back with the running and biking thing too, so it all should work together to make less of me, which is a great thing!

As for trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up..well, I am still working on that one. I have been trying to spend more prayer time and Bible time, sometimes successfully, sometimes not--to try and figure some of this out, and where the Lord is leading me. Yesterday, I really felt Him just impressing on me how important my prayers are...to me, to draw me near to Him, but also the fact that He does hear them, and He does answer them. God Almighty, maker of everything wants to use the prayers of short, fat, often-useless Stacy to effect change. Okay...I'm in! I'm still not sure what all He wants to do with me, and what all He wants me to be pursuing, because I DO feel like there is more in the plans for how He may want to use me; but I DO KNOW that He wants me to pursue Him like crazy, on my own behalf and also on the behalves (is that a word?) of others as a prayer warrior. So, ok, Lord! Here I am....from my reading just a bit ago:
"I will praise You as long as I live, lifting my hands to You in prayer. You satisfy me more than the richest feast. I will praise You with songs of joy! --Psalm 63:4-5
So....there! :-)