One week down....

Okay, so now that it is past midnight, I can officially say I have one week down of Lent...no chocolate, and very little refined carbs/sugar. I have had a few moments, like tonight when I ate a lot more crackers from the breakroom than I ought to, but for the most part, I have been behaving pretty well in the eating department. Which is why it FRUSTRATES me to no end that my weight is not moving....at least I don't think it is. To be fair, I must say I didn't weigh a week ago when I started this, so maybe I had slipped to new places on the scale that I have never seen before...which really scares me, truthfully! But, whatever the case, this week, I am holding steady at what my weight was before the year started. Grand. I have been exercising every day, eating well, and passing chocolate by and nothing is happening. Its enough to drive a girl to buy the chocolate bark at the store, heat it in the microwave and eat it with a spoon! Ugh! Just one more reason why I am glad this is a commitment I made to the Lord for Lent. If this was just a weight loss thing or a challenge for challenge's sake, I would have been at the candy machine down the hall and back to the lab with a Twix faster than you can say fatso. But, since it is a promise I made to the Lord, and to His glory, I have been able to stick with it.

I read a facebook post tonight about just trying to eat right and exercise and to relax on the whole weight thing. They were saying that they did that, took the pressure off and have now lost some more weight. Almost like the "trying" to have a baby thing...(although this never applied to me, since my husband could simply look at me and get me pregnant!)...the harder you try, the less likely it is to happen, and the more you relax, the more likely it is something will happen. Well...I can't relax too much, not with 100 pound to lose. But, I am going to try to relax some by putting it in the Lord's hands. If I am eating correctly, not pigging out, and exercising, doing all the things I need to do to be healthy, I need to rely on Him to fight the battle. I need to ask for His strength for the discipline I need, and then let go and let Him have His way. I always seem to try and make everything so formulaic, and in reality, it often doesn't have to be that way at all.

I am reading a really weird little book right now called Hipster Christianity by Brett McCracken. It's subtitle is "where cool and Christianity come together". Weird little book, but fun to read and interesting nevertheless. It talks about the history of hipsters and what a hipster actually is, and gives examples of things that are found in the hipster culture in general and the Christian hipster culture specifically. Some of the examples of people he uses are people I am not sure how I feel about (Rob Bell for one). Some are people I have never heard of. And some are people I have enjoyed listening to and learning from (Shane Claiborne, Brennan Manning). So, as I am reading this book, of course, I continually am trying to evaulate myself and others I know: "hmmm...am I a hipster? yes...probably so. Well, maybe not...definitely no!" or "Is *fill in the blank* a hipster? Well this fits, but this doesn't". And then I also am evaluating the author's descriptions of churches that could be considered "hipster" churches. Some of what I hear (they embrace postmodernism....praxis over theology) I just downright, with all my sensibilities of modernity that I have always been a part of vehemently disagree with. But then, some of what I read makes total sense to me (putting faith into action, going back to some of the old, historical practices in worship). So, here I am, once again, trying to apply a formula as I read, and it's just not always that black and white. I mean, my faith and belief in Christ is absolutely absolute--black and white as can be. But, my understanding of where I fit into this whole grand scheme of things and how it affects the way we as the Body of Christ minister and seek to live out the Great Commission is not necessarily an either/or...but, because I have to try and be formulaic, I get all confused by it all and tie my brain in knots trying to wrap my head around it all.

So yea....the good thing is, about BOTH of these things I have written about (weight and this goofy book) is that I am learning to relax some in belonging to Him. Yes, I have a responsibility and an obligation to study and show myself approved....and to take care of my Temple. But, I can also rest in Him, knowing my God is bigger than any formula I or anyone else who is like 100x smarter and more educated than me can come up with. He doesn't fit into a formula, and He doesn't have to--He is God Almighty. He loves me....and that really is- enough.