Keepin Fat Tuesday Fat...and then....

Okay, so here I am again with not a lick of anything good to report! I have been bad, B-A-D BAD!!! Well, I mean I have been eating vegetables and have had some bike trainer time, but you know, I have been partaking in copious amounts of chocolate too. And it's time to STOP! Seriously...I want to be here for my kids, and I wanna feel pretty again. I am gonna b e 40 in a month, and I was hoping to already be there by that time, but since I'm not, I CERTAINLY plan to be by sometime in 2012, and for sure before I am 41. All those motivational thingys on Pinterest keep resonating: In a year, you will wish you had started today. Well, this food battle of mine has become more than just about food. I really believe the Lord is calling me to honor Him by taking better care of this temple that is in severe disrepair. I cannot fight this battle on my own, it is something that is going to require daily...okay, hourly...okay, okay--minute-by-minute handing it over into His hands. So, with it being Fat Tuesday and all, I am ready to commit to 40-something days of some better habits to get me jumpstarted in the right direction. My Lord didn't give me this life so I can eat my body into oblivion. Time to get this show on the road! So, midnight begins Ash Wednesday and Lent. I have only (being the recovering Baptist that I am) observed Lent in a give-something-up-and-use-that-to-think-more-of-God sort of way once before. Growing up, Lent/lint was always something I pulled out of my dryer. Then, I went to college and started to see people giving up certain things, but it seemed more of a ritualistic thing than it did meaningful. Then, when I got a little older and began to put my fideistic approach to faith aside some and learned more about loving the Lord not only with my heart, soul, and strength, but also with my MIND, I began to re-visit this whole Lent deal. A few years ago, I gave up chocolate. And though that may not sound like much and may seem very ritualistic to others, for me, this was an intense spiritual battle! Me and chocolate are tight...real tight! As in, I remember when I was single and lived way out in the country driving a half an hour (one way) just for some M&Ms. Its like a drug, and I am convinced chocolate has addictive qualities. It sure does for me anyway! Well, I made it through and began to not crave it so much, and truly, when I was tempted (like with a big-ass cake in the break room that resembled motor-oil it was so chocolately) I was able to focus on the fact that a promise to the Lord is one that is not to be taken lightly, and I used His strength to forgo the temptation. I have toyed with the idea of doing something like this in the years since, but have never felt resolved enough to follow through...until now. This year, it's on like donkey kong! I need to know His victory in my life. I need to commit and get my focus on Him, because I feel I am off track. I need Him. True, observing Lent isn't necessarily for drawing close to the Lord...but I feel like He is calling me to do this. I am going to, Lord willing, give up chocolate and sugar during this season. I am wrestling with Him about Diet Dr. Pepper too, but have until midnight to decide that one. I think He probably wants me to give that up too....anything that I am not willing to give for Him stands in the way of me experiencing His fullness...and oh, how I want that fullness! I have toyed with the idea of a Daniel Fast as well, but we shall see on that one. I think that one may be more my idea than His, but I am gonna continue with some serious prayer on the matter tonight and see where He leads me. I hope I can report back good things soon. I hope I can use this blog as accountability (though it is rarely read). Lord..I need You more; more than the air I breathe...more than the next heartbeat..more than the song I sing...and more than anything Lord as time goes by...I will be by Your side...I need You more!